(Closed) wedding is in 12 days how do i get over anger and resentment …very long.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like your family’s been really hard on you!  All I can say is that you will have to be the better person in this situation, people are so selfish and can’t see past their own gripes, in your sister’s case her own wedding and in your mom’s I guess the money issues.  At least you have your family, I’m sure your FI and your children can be support for you, and really your wedding day is about your life with them, not necessarily with your mom and sister.  If they can’t see past their own lives on your day that’s their problem, but you really should own the day and enjoy it the best that you can!

Post # 4
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Since you are so close to your sister I suggest that you sit down with her and tell her all of this. Explain why you are hurt and how all of this is making you feel. If you are that close to her, she should understand and maybe she has just been too caught up in everything to notice. Maybe once she grasps the situation and your feelings on it she will talk to your mom and family and get everyone to wake up and cut you some slack.

Hope this helps, sorry you are having a rought time 🙁

 

p.s- My sister is also my best friend and maid of honor and I know if I sat down and talked to her seriously about how upset I was she would feel terrible and would straighten things out immediately..sometimes you just have to be very straight forward because ppl are too wrapped up in their lives to notice what is going on in yours sometimes.

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow.

I guess it’s too late to elope?

Here’s what I’d do. Ask your mother how much more money she spent and write out an IOU. Tell her that after the wedding, you’ll pay her back. Seriously. Bring her an agreement. Tell her you can do more than $25 or $50 a month–or whatever you can afford, given the issues you’ve had, and sign it.

My guess is that this will break her heart and she’ll say you don’t have to, but if she doesn’t, then pay her back, so you do not have to hear about it anymore.

The next thing, think of what’s most important. This wedding or your marriage and family? The only people you need are your FI and your kids. So I’d cut more people from the wedding. Cut the DJ, get an ipod to play. But do not let anyone see you unhappy or see you cry. Be thankful less people are coming, and keep in close contact with your caterer to make sure you can keep cutting people to save money. That way, your mom can’t complain about how much she spent.

Really, I’d like to tell you to just elope, but I don’t think you can at this point. All that matters is your new family. 

I know this won’t be a popular opinion, but I would be very angry with my sister if she interjected her wedding in the middle of my planning, KNOWING that she was draining monetary resources from my wedding, which had already been set. That was kind of evil. In the same token, your mom should have scaled back with your sister, because your wedding was still coming up. It’s not like she didn’t know.

That’s a hell of a drain to have two daughters get married with full weddings that close together. I’m sorry your sister did that to the whole family. 

Post # 7
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee

I am so sorry. I would hate to have those feelings right before getting married. I would talk to your mom and sister. I would tell them that you didn’t want to bring this up right before your wedding but you can’t shake the feelings you are having and you want your wedding day to be full of happiness and right now you are very angry and hurt by both of them.  Just do whatever you have to do to truely be happy on your big day. Nothing is worse then all the stress and finances poured into a wedding to only look back on that day and not feel anything but joy.  

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