(Closed) Wedding is in 9 days and ppl are rsvping, and I'm saying HELL NO!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Will you allow guest to rsvp late?
    Yes : (26 votes)
    13 %
    No : (55 votes)
    28 %
    Depends on Person/People : (62 votes)
    32 %
    Depends on how close to the wedding day it is : (50 votes)
    26 %
    Other(explain below) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    No bugger those people. They had numerous chances and they ignored them (or chose something else) If it was someone close then yes I would allow it but not these fly by night wedding crashers.


    Post # 4
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    its your event…so handle it how you want.  (I didn’t vote in the poll.)



    I’m just curious as to how you’re going to tell these people not to come?  Did they call your mother and RSVP to her?  

    Post # 5
    3300 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nah, have your mom let them know that unfortunately they cannot be accomodated due to their lateness. It’s not you being a B, it’s them missing out because they treated your wedding like a backup plan. Their bad. 

    Post # 7
    2780 posts
    Sugar bee

    @TwoCityBride:  I don’t think you’re being mean. They had time to RSVP and choose not to I too last minute so it’s their problem. If your mom thinks you’re being mean perhaps she should pay to add them all on.

    Post # 9
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @TwoCityBride:  If they were close friends or family who had really wanted to come but couldn’t because of something important and legit, and that something had now fallen through then yes…I would bend the rules and happily allow it. These people…nope. Have your Mom tell them no can do! If your mom won’t do it then do it yourself and don’t feel a bit guilty. 

    Post # 10
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    No way, they missed their chance to attend your wedding and in my opinion are the RUDE ones because they ignored your RSVP date and your many attempts to get in touch with them.  You’re definitely not being rude by informing those late guests that they can’t come.

    Post # 11
    2749 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If you don’t want to add them, then don’t. That’s uber rude to act like they’re special and don’t have to abide by deadlines like the rest of the world. Also, even if you wanted to add them, will your venue allow it? My absolute deadline for numbers is 10 days out. Not business days but calendar days, and whatever number they have on that day is it. Ugh. Good luck.

    Post # 12
    8098 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @TwoCityBride:  Most caterers prepare enough for 5-10% over your final number in case of unexpected guests. I’m not sure about rentals but it seems likely they would too. If you don’t want the people, that’s your prerogative. But if you don’t mind them coming and your main concern is that you’ve already turned in numbers, I recommend calling and asking if the vendors can accommodate. They’ll probably say yes.

    Post # 13
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Meh…if you don’t care, then you don’t care. I get being annoyed, but you seem livid. 

    I would say that if you originally budgeted for them, then you’ve already saved money by not counting them…so it wouldn’t really hurt to add them back in…unless you spent that money elsewhere. I’m sure vendors are used to last minute changes. But it sounds like you don’t even like these people (maybe?), so it actually worked out better for you!

    I would probably add them, but I’m having a small wedding and can’t invite a bunch of people I want there, so I would accept an RSVP the day of and just beg my caterer to help me out! Haha.

    Post # 14
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I don’t think I’d use the phrase “hell no” necessarily, but I don’t feel a bit sorry for them. They had their chance. If they didn’t care enough to RSVP on time, why should you care enough to scramble to make it possible for them to be there?

    Post # 16
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    They’re the rude ones. You’re just being a responsible hostess.

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