Post # 1
After 6 yrs together, 8 months of engagent and 6 months from our wedding, my fiance decided he no longer wanted to be married or with me period. This has left me with pretty much everything you could imagine you would need for a destination wedding and local reception.
I am really struggling with what to keep. I am so in love with my dress (which hasn’t even come in yet) but could I wear it if I were to get married to someone else? At this point I can’t even think about marrying someone else, but would it be too disrespectful to my future husband, who ever that may be? I also have my wedding band and decorations that I don’t think I will ever get rid of just because it’s not worth the shipping.
Should I just let it all go and start over if that ever happens?
Post # 3
@bibs2161: I would try listing the decorations on here. Some things might not be worth selling, in which case you can list them as free for those who will do local pickup. At a minimum that gets it out of your house. Some things might be worth some money (they were never used!). If they are, then you get rid of the stuff and you get some extra cash.
I would not keep the wedding band or engagement ring. I think that would be disrespectful for you to wear as an engagement ring or wedding band with another man.
I would keep the dress until you no longer want to keep it. If its going to make you sad having it in your closet (it would make me sad) then sell it. You should be able to get a decent amount back by selling it online. You can also see if the bridal salon will keep it to sell as a sample and if you would get any money back that way. Some girls have no problem keeping a dress after an ended engagement and wearing it several years later when they get married to a different (better) guy. The dress is more a reflection of you than your ex-FI, so if you still love it and want to keep it, I think thats perfectly acceptable.
Best of luck with everything.
Post # 4
@bibs2161: def post some of ur items on here to at least regain sum money back from this horrible set of circumstances. as far as the dress goes IMO sell it now while it is still out bcz in the future it wont be worth much bcz styles change a lot. In fact im going to buy my second wedding dress from someone selling it for 200 with accessories and flower girls dress because it lost sooo much of its value in 3 years
Post # 5
I am so sorry.
Maybe you can try to sell anything that you don’t want to keep on craigslist. No shipping and you would get cash. May not sell til after Christmas though. Don’t try til you are mentally ready to part with those things.
Post # 6
@bibs2161: I would definitely process this in whatever is personally applicable to you and your emotional state…
Because you asked…
If it were me, I’d get rid of everything because I am pretty symbolic and I would always connect the decor/dress/etc with this guy and this time that did not work out.
I am so sorry but trust me, you’ll be able to get at least some of your money back with craigslist, ebay, and listing on here… it might just take some time and the right price.
With your dress, because you are so in love with it, I might keep it and just see how you feel when the right man comes along. Did you think about walking down the aisle to the ex and him loving how it looked on you? if so, I would get rid of it. But if its just the dress you’ve always imagined yourself having since your childhood (aka before you even had a fiance) I think it would be fine to keep it because its more for YOU and one YOU love and will continue to love no matter the guy…
You can always change your mind about the dress in the future too.
SO sorry you’re going through this …sending hugs!!!
Post # 7
The dress is not guilty of anything if you love it and will not associate it to that boy keep it otherwise maybe you will want everythink new for the future wedding.
Post # 8
I would sell/ give away/ repurpose everything. For me it would be depressing to have wedding stuff sitting around. And I think it would make me more likely to try to rush into something because the wedding stuff is there… Or feel bad because I was nn’t using it. So soy would sell the dress. Or, if it’s not too offer the top you could dye and/or cut it off so you could wear it to other formal events.
Post # 9
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I know a friend of mine called on an engagement after ordering but before receiving her dress. She’s keeping it. I’d definitely try to sell to wedding band, though.
Post # 10
Thank you everyone for responding. He took the ring back because I wanted the money for all of the deposits I paid back. Really the only things I’m thinking of keeping are my dress, the wedding band, and whatever I can’t get rid of…which seems to be a lot right now! My dress is the Divina by Maggie Sottero, so I’m not sure if by the time I am ready to get married the craze of that style dress will be over..plus at this point I would just do a simple wedding if I were to get married ever.
I’m having a really hard time. Not only did he do this, but it was in the middle of finding out I have some serious health issues, starting a new job, and now on Sunday night my dog passed away. I could care less about everything else right now, I’m just really upset about my dog and the timing of everything.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Oh no, I am so sorry! *HUGS* What a dick. You will find someone way way better than him, and until then, good riddance! So sorry about your pup too 🙁
Post # 12
I am so sorry to hear what happened. I would part with the dress. I think that the trend would change at the point of which you would get married to a better guy. I do think you can list the other stuff and get most of your money back. Do it when and if you are ready.
Post # 13
Yea, I think I will have to let go of everything. I’ve only paid the deposit on my dress but they have a no cancelations policy so I’ll have to shell out another $900 when it comes in. Everyone only wants to pay pretty much nothing for everything I have. At this point I’m just happy to see it go..I’m living at my moms in her spare bedroom so I don’t have much space for this stuff. At lease someone is able to use it I guess.
Post # 14
If it were me, I would get rid of everything, including the dress. You don;t know when you’ll get married again. Why have all that stuff looking you in the face all the time? Try to sell what you can.
Also, I hope you’re not giving the rings back!
Post # 15
He threatened to pull the legal card on me so I had to give the ring back. I didn’t want it anyway. I have decided to sell the dress if anyone is interested I posted it in the classified section.
Post # 16
aww im so sorry to hear that!! as many other posters have said – i would totally sell everything. i know youre in love with your dress, but when you ge married again, its about starting anew and moving on.. including everything to do with the wedding! Im sure at that time youd WANT to get a new dress anyway. sell everything you can (= hope all goes well