Post # 1
FYI I’m going to kind of rant/vent here for a bit.
I’m two months out (Aug 3rd) until our wedding and I have so many emotions going into this. I finally got a day-of coordinator and it was such a relief to hand evetrything over to her, but I still have anxiety and can’t quite relax/enjoy the ride. I have a tendency to be anxious and flirt with moderate depression every 6 months or so, so this is nothing new. We have family coming from out of town and most friends will have to do a bit of a drive to get to our rehearsal and ceremony. I think I feel anxious because people are doing so much for us – the travel, the gifts, the accomodations. It seems like so much money and time. I want to make sure everyone is happy and cared for.
My question is: How did you find a way to have some mental sanity in order to go through your days in a semi-normal way? Are you a bride with a wedding coming up? I’d love to know how others feel too.
Also – any other advice you’d like to share or wish you knew ahead of time?
Thank you in advance for any sage wisdom to offer my wedding brain!
Post # 2
Hi bee! I’m riding the two-month wave myself, my wedding is on July 28th.
Can you identify (only if you’re comfortable sharing) what is stressing you out right now in particular? I find breaking my stress down into tasks that I can accomplish and/or give to my wedding coordinator is very helpful.
Post # 3
My wedding is in 40 days. Like you, I also deal with depression and anxiety.I just got everything done and am now waiting on our RSVP’s to come back and until they do I am at the point now where I am just going to relax and enjoy our engagment. We are having a very short engagement (only 8 weeks) and I have planned a wedding for 100 guests in about 2 weeks. I am just exhausted and we just finished up the big stuff yesterday. Now it is time to enjoy my fiance before I blink and he’s my husband 🙂
The best way for me to stay calm is to talk about it with my fiance. Every day we sit on our patio with a beer before I cook dinner and just talk about what ever is going on in our heads. It helps to say it all outloud and know that he is in this with me.
Post # 4
I’m getting married August 2nd and technically we are eloping with 4 other people as guests so stress has been cut way down.
I would say the best way to keep calm is to remember that it is just one day in the rest of your life. It will be lovely to have photos and memories of but that’s it. Don’t panic and try hand over some of the planning and organising and enjoy it.
Its about you and your SO.
That’s what I focus on.
Congrats and good luck.
Post # 5
girlandherpearl : This is always the hard part for me – to identify my source of anxiety. We have made sure everything is done well in advance, so there are the little tasks left, but nothing major. This is why I should be able to just relax and enjoy our last months of enagagement. I’ve identified to my coordinator the top things I am concerned about for the wedding day, so that’s a relief to have her focus on those things instead of me. I think part of what makes this sort of painful for me is how much everyone is doing for us – whether it be travel, gifts, accomodations. It just feels like too much – a bit overwhelming. I am a people pleaser and it’s ahrd to give everyone the attention they deserve. A bit irrational, I know, but true nonetheless.
Post # 6
Let me start by saying I’m just trying to be honest, not scare you.
I have 12 days until the wedding and I am stressed beyond stressed. Granted, a lot is from outside wedding planning stuff (work, family events, etc) but still.
I would highly make sure you focus on getting all of the small details taken care of now. Programs, desserts, decorations, etc because all the little to-dos will hit you like a freight train. At least, that’s how I feel right now.
Post # 7
tattooedbridetobe2 : Wow more power to you!! I actually think that if I had a few less months to plan that I might’ve been fine because I tend to over think things and then dwell on decisions. But I couldn’t even imagine 2 weeks of planning.
Great advice about taking to the fiance on the daily! We tend to talk about it when I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed, but not regularly. I think that would help a lot – thank you!
Post # 8
kmmq72 : Oh love, I’m sorry you are so stressed. I recently went to a wedding on May 12th and it was such a relief to see everything from a guests point of view. The welcome sign? Hardly saw it. The seating chart design? I don’t remember. How did the cake taste? Not sure. I do remember dancing and having a generally great time with people I consider close friends. Everytime I get out of sorts, I remind myself that in the end – it doesn’t matter – as long as we get married (we have a back-up friend officiant just in case and the rings are ready to go). Throw in some alcohol, food and music and just enjoy the people who want to show their love for you guys. This is what I try to focus on, anyway. It will all turn out fine.
Post # 9
Carritas27 : Thank you for the words of wisdom. They are also written in somewhat of a mantra form, so I will keep that in mind. I agree – it’s about getting married. Everything else is a bonus. Our date is Aug 3rd! Horray for weekday weddings. Congrats!
Post # 10
gallantgabs : weekday weddings are the way forward lol.
You will be ok if you just remember it’s one day for you to enjoy. Hugs! Have a great one
Post # 11
kmmq72 : We have the same wedding day! 12 days to go…crazy
I agree with OP. I am way more calm now than I was a month ago, or even two weeks ago haha. At this point a few of the small things that I was considering doing just don’t seem necessary or worth stressing about. Maybe it’s because we are having a relatively small 50-people weddng, but we are not doing a seating chart or program. I was going to display a few pictures of Fiance and me but the frames I ordered ended up being the wrong size, and I realized that I don’t care enough to find new ones haha. In fact, now i actually prefee not having our photos on display. People will not care or remembwr, and they’ll be able to figure out whose wedding it is.
Bottom line is just to remember that the purpose of the day is to celebrate you and your future husband. I can relate to wanting to make sure everyone else is happy and not inconvenienced, but they are coming to see you get married and celebrate with you!
Post # 12
coraviolet : kmmq72 : 6/16 for us, too!
And I agree… I wish I had gathered together all the small decor items sooner – signage, banners, balloons, etc.
But I’m doing it all now, and it’s not like I’d be doing anything else now if I wasn’t doing that. So it’s not a HUGE deal.
The few things that have given me anxiety, I’ve likewise handed off to my DOC.
I’m feeling much less stressed these days. We have final numbers and final contracts/menus. We have a final layout, final rentals, etc. Now Fi and I decide how much or how few “small” things we want to do, and we’ll probably decide to do fewer. And that’s ok.
Like a pp said, all you really remember (and all that is really important) is the ENERGY of the wedding. Did it feel authentic or like a production? Did it feel like the couple? Were people happy and vibing and dancing and laughing? Or awkward and quiet and leaving early?
I’m just trying to remind myself that the enegy is what’s important, not the appearance. I want our guests to ENJOY our wedding, not be impressed with how it looks.
Post # 13
gallantgabs : we are getting married the day after you on the 4th and I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone in having feelings like this! I’ve found that spending quality time with my fiancé NOT talking about wedding-related things can be a really great way to recharge and to also enjoy the last two months of being engaged to one another!
Post # 14
I’m 4 days out and am only anxious at this point about the weather – I check the forecast all the freaking time!
My focus has been on the fact that I’m about to marry the man I love. We’ve had last minute cancels (including FI’s sister) and last minute additions to the guest list, but I’m just taking deep breaths and trying to be in the moment (even though I want Friday to be here already!!!). I’m focusing on the big picture – the small stuff is just that, small stuff. No need to sweat it.
Post # 15
I’m nineteen days out and literally have butterflies in my stomach 24/7, I’m so excited but so nervous. And really, really ready for all of this planning to be over. My best advice is to take time for yourself. I have made myself go to the gym every day and having that hour to myself (as well as the drive to and from which is good for thinking, listening to music, etc) has been so beneficial. It also has helped me get into shape for the big day so that’s a bonus as well! It starts to feel like you don’t have time for anything, especially yourself, but that just makes it extra essential. Good luck, and seriously the next two months are going to fly by.