Wedding jewelry gift

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
8861 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Wow. 

.

Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh my, that is a bold piece of jewelry. I think even the queen of England would have a problem pulling that one off.

All you can do is mention to he, as clear as you dare, that this is really not your type jewelry. But in the end it’s her money and she can gift you with it whatever she wants. Pygmy goats and bold jewelry included😁

I personally har no such problem. I got a few pieces of jewelry for my wedding but they all came from very close family, who know my taste and stuck with that.

Good luck to you! Let us know how it ended! 

Post # 5
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee

i can’t see the aliexpress necklace, but there’s no reason for her to think she can choose your wedding jewelry. thank her for the necklace and tell her you are excited to wear it for *insert other event*. If she asks about wearing it for the wedding tell her you’ve already picked out your jewelry, then move on. 

i don’t really understand why you are so concerned with how she spends money in general…? 

Post # 6
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

vortex :  I don’t really believe in telling people how to spend their money. You can only do so much in controlling what people gift to you and it sounds like you’ve already stated your thoughts. Be gracious with the present, but there is no need to wear it to your wedding. Instead, it would be a nice gesture to wear to a dinner out with them or maybe your rehearsal dinner if it matches what you were already planning to wear. Otherwise, it can live in your jewelry box. 

Post # 9
Member
571 posts
Busy bee

 I love your necklace! though I would not consider it simple, but modern. 

There really isn’t much you can do about it now if its already purchased. You made it clear you weren’t interested in having something like that for the wedding. you can accept the gift, but you don’t have to wear it for wedding.

Post # 10
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

emhh, it is a gift. Be grateful? While I understand your position (I would be irritate too to see someone very unresponsible about money), you still don’t have the rights to tell her how to spent her money. It’s her Fiance job.

And IF your Future Mother-In-Law decide to help/give them more money, it is also her rights to do so. You should be grateful that you can make your own money and doesn’t burden anyone.

Post # 11
Member
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

vortex :  If your Fiance is giving them money then you have a Fiance problem and not a FSIL/FBIL problem. You are laying the blame in the wrong place on that.

As for how they spend their money or what other people choose to give them money wise, well that is none of your business. It is their money and they can do as they please with it, that includes your Future Mother-In-Law. 

You seem way too invested in this other couples business and hella judgy. Maybe start minding your own business and working on your own problems (as in your Fiance choosing to give money to his brother).

Post # 12
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

You can’t dictate how others gift you. However, they can’t dictate what you do with a gift.

So, that means you can sell it, donate it, give it away, let it sit forever…whatever. 

Just accept the gift, give a thank you, don’t make any promise to wear it, don’t wear it, and move on. 

How she spends the money is between her and the brother. It’s not your business. He made the choice in his fiancée and this is his battle if it’s even a concern for him at all. Don’t put yourself into it.

Your fiancé giving them money is a problem between you two and has nothing to do with them. You both should get on the same financial page in the future. He should have declined giving money if you didn’t agree.

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