Post # 1
Member
8 posts
Newbee
My boyfriend is getting ready to pop the question. He’s not a very good secret keeper lol and I can read him like a book. We’ve been talking about getting married for a while and I’ve payed off any college credit card debt in preparation. I’ve also been wondering how in the world we are going to pay for a wedding. We can save some, but in order for us to snag the time of the year we really had our hearts set on the get married in (it’s emotionally significant) it will not be enough to pay for everything.
Ok. I know. A loan is the exact opposite of the ideal thing to do. And I know that you are going to tell me not be unreasonable, and cut corners here and there and that it’s one day. I know. But I don’t know how many corners I want to cut on what I consider to be one of the most important days of my life.I just want it to be personal and memorable. And I have cut corners. I come from an artistic background so make-up, flowers, stationary and photography are being done by me and my (thank God) equally artistic friends. Favors and Gifts are also being done by me. We are doing an I-pod rather than a DJ, and are doing a cocktail reception rather than paying for a feast. I’m even getting my dress at a consignment shop.
It’s not enough. UGH! I know that we still can’t afford this without some help from somewhere. My parents are really not well off (is it tacky to say they are really poor?) and I know that they won’t be able to contribute anything. His will be able to contribute a little, but I’m not expecting very much. We are both much more well off than our ‘rents. And I’ll say it, there are just some things that I’m not willing to give up. I want an amazing location (and in Chicago that can be pricey, although we are considering the park district) and yes, I want the wedding in Chicago. It’s where we met, where our home is and where all our friends are. And even though it’s mostly DIY, I want the quality of everything to be top notch, so supplies and such could still stack up.
If we don’t have any debt, have no wish to purchase a house any time soon, already have an adorable little apartment with all the fixins, and can pay the loan off in 12 months, is it really that dangerous to get one? We are both responsible with our money and have excellent jobs, and just recently finished paying off multiple larger purchases (for our little home) -which is why we don’t have a ton in savings.
HELP! **Comments from those paying for their weddings all by their lonesome specifically would be appreciated.
Post # 3
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
I’m with you on this one. I know borrowing for a wedding is a big faux pas but we are doing it. Our situation is we are also paying for the entire wedding ourselves. My Fiance finished school in April and has his first job which is good paying so he is currently saving money. I however am currently in an internship so basically still a student not making money. We are putting off our wedding so we can save money until 2012, I will finish my internship in June 2011 so i have time to save as well. However, we are not going to be able to save the full cost of our wedding by the date and we know it. So yes we are going to get aline of credit. Because we know it will take us no time to pay it off since we will both have full time good paying jobs. We will have been together for 8.5 years by the time we get married, we have put off our wedding so long due to school so we’ve decided not to put it off any longer. We will borrow some money, pay it off in less than a year so I see no problem with it.
It sounds to me like your situation is very similar. So I see no harm in it.
Post # 4
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
IMO – you either have the wedding you can afford (without loans) or you shouldn’t be getting married. Taking out loans for a one day event shows a financial immaturity that doesn’t corralate with being ready to be married. It just isn’t smart – no matter what your background or situation.
If you won’t have enough time to save by Sept. 2011, wait until Sept. 2012 to get married so you can still have the time of year you want. If you really would have been able to pay off the loan plus interest by a year after the 2011 wedding than you should have more than enough money to pay for the wedding without a loan in Sept. 2012. Doing that shows that you are secure, smart and mature financially.
Post # 5
Member
8 posts
Newbee
ejs4y8 (message) June 20, 2009 STL
We paid for our own wedding and I think pulling out a loan for a party/wedding/one day event is silly.
If you are already paying off purchases for your home, that tells me that you are buying things on credit that you probably can’t afford to begin with. SAVE for something. You say so yourself you both have good jobs. So save up! Don’t just assume everything will still be there in a year and a half. It’s just so presumptuous. But i guess it also depends how much money you’re talking…
I just think it’s dangerous to pull out a private loan (which do NOT have low interest rates) and bank on being able to pay it back over a year. WHAT IF you can’t? There are lots of people who have that issue.
I really do not think that there is anything wrong with using a credit card as long as you use it responsibly. We put the furniture for our home on our credit cards and had it paid off in 3 months. We have low interets rates and are always smart with the card. I work for a large corporation in down town Chicago and am up for a promotion. My “FI” was literally just promoted a month ago. Considering these things I don’t think I’m being presumptuous.
Post # 6
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
The thing that worries me about this sort of thing is that you never know what will happen. I know someone who bought a bunch of stuff for a renovation last year on buy now, pay later with no interest until a year later. They were both employed and doing well and would be able to pay off the loan at the end of term. But then he lost his job and they barely have money for bills. Now the loan has accrued a few thousand in interest from the beginning since it wasn’t paid off before the end of the term. You never know if one of you will lose a job, be injured and go on disability, or god forbid die.
Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee
@Mrs.KMM:
Okay, I have been thinking that may be the best option, I’m just reluctant to have a 19 month engagement. But I suppose that would be the best financial scenario, if everyone really thinks the loan is such a terrible idea.
Post # 8
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m sorry, but if you can’t afford it – then wait until you can.
Post # 9
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Assuming you and your Dh will still have your good jobs in 1-2 years IS presumptuous. You just NEVER ever know.
Have what you can have or wait until you can have what you want. Lots of people make this compromise.
Set aside that extra money you’d be putting towards interest for an extra vacation in a year or two.
Post # 10
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
hello girls
i understand you perfectly
because my fiance and i are paying for the wedding, he has a full time job but i’m a student so i just have a little part time job… we are trying not to take a loan but if we have no choice we’ll do it because a wedding is the most important and beautiful day and it happens only once in a life time… but you could just try to keep the lists small, take seasonal flowers and so on so even if you have to take a loan it’s smaller than if you have a 500 guests wedding 🙂
Post # 11
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
If you can avoid a loan, please do. By the sounds of things you are both relatively young and starting out in life so waiting another year will probably be best. That way you can have the wedding you know you want to have with no financial stress.
Post # 12
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
@brisendm: Although my parents are helping us pay for our wedding we have decided to wait until 2012 so that my Fiance and I AND my parents have time to save for the wedding we want without going into debt. We would not have been able to get married in 2011 without taking out a loan — and we did NOT want to go into debt for our wedding.
It sucks having a long engagement, but knowing that we will enter our marriage debt free (with the exception of student loans of course!) is much more important than rushing the wedding.
Post # 13
Member
8 posts
Newbee
I guess I just don’t agree with the whole “It’s just one day” or “It’s just a party”. To me it is totally not “just” anything. I don’t understand how people can quantify it in those terms.
Post # 14
Member
8 posts
Newbee
@TinyTina:
I guess I’ll just have to be patient. Not one of my stronger points lol.
Post # 15
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
These days (and even in the “old” days) working for a “large corporation” still isn’t necessarily to be considered “secure.” Shoot, before I started to work for myself I worked for a large nationally known Corp. that impacts about 80% of American’s day to day life. When I left everything was great. 3 months later my ENTIRE department was laid off and the department closed out of nowhere. My father has been through COUNTLESS mergers, acquisitions, and layoffs. I also have known people who rolled their wedding into their home loan and got divorced 3 years later. Not saying that would happen to you, but she cheated on him, so he had no idea it could happen to him… and he’ll be paying on the “wedding” for 30 years! :-0
One thing I learned, via my dad, is that you need to always be cautious. While by the grace of God he never did loose his job, we would have been OK if he did as we never had much debt if any and a buffer in savings. Darling Husband and I even now are debt free 1 month after our wedding, minus our home loan. We were in need of some home repairs but we waited until we had the money and will be giving the contractor the $5k in Cash at the end of the week when they finish the job.
I honestly think, the best thing would be to just wait until you can afford what you want. One year in the course of the next 50 is nothing.
You could also always have a courthouse wedding (super cute!) and save up for the big party in a year. I’ve had multiple clients who have done that and the “2nd weddings” are in no way less special. I did one a few weeks ago and the bride was STILL nervous before hand!
Post # 16
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
I just have to comment…think about starting your marriage $20,000 in debt, or even more. And it’s like credit card debt, it’s not a student loan where you have protection options if something happens…that bill is every month, money that you could be keeping.
I bet you would feel so accomplished if you waited another year and saved, paid cash for everything, and walked away to your honeymoon knowing a $600 credit card bill wasn’t waiting for you. If you already have all the things you say, saving shouldn’t be stressful for you and it would make the whole start of your marriage more stress free.
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