- 10 years ago
HOMETOWN VS CURRENT TOWN
I’m newly engaged, and I’m having trouble committing to a wedding location. HELP!!
My fiance and I both live in a city that neither of us is originally from. I’ve moved around most of my life, but my family all lives around the province we now currently reside in. My Fiance was born and raised on an island where many in this family still live. I’ve visited the island many times, and have a lot of happy memories of my time there.
We recently got engaged, but neither of us wants a big traditional wedding. The thought of standing in front of 100+ people to say my vows terrorizes me. My favourite weddings have been small, informal cozy spaces with food and friends and family – averaging about 50 people. My Fiance doesn’t want a large wedding either, as long as his immediate family and friends are there, he will be happy.
So the idea that we might go away to his hometown to get married was exciting to me at first. My close friends all expressed happiness at the thought of having an excuse to visit there, and I know my Future Mother-In-Law would be happy to help out in the planning of our small, informal event. Both Fiance and I thought it might be a nice way to keep the guest list on the smaller side without offending.
Here comes the hitch. My father – who I love dearly – comes from a very close knit family. He has 8 brothers and sisters, I have 21 first cousins and half of them are married with children. They all live in the province that my Fiance and I currently live in. My father was very disappointed to hear that we wanted to get married so far away. He wanted to be able to celebrate with the whole family (who I guess I’m close to as well) and he’s waiting a long time! I’m 35 and he’s been looking forward to this the moment I was born. If we get married in my FI’s hometown, many in my family will not likely come – they’re not big travelers, many of my aunts and uncles are on the verge of retirement and tightening their finances given the current economy woes, and many of my first cousins have small children so it’s not as easy for them to travel.
So I’m feeling conflicted. Even though I know my Fiance and I are leaning towards a small wedding anyway, and going to his hometown would likely achieve that (and we both like the idea of getting married there, he feels a strong connection to his place of birth), I’m having second thoughts – what if I regret for the rest of my life not having a big wedding with the whole family there, and breaking my dear father’s heart?
Any similar stories out there? Any advice is greatly appreciated!