(Closed) Wedding Location Disagreement

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hmm, I am likely to say have it there. First, it sounds charming anyway. Also if that many people really do not want to travel, you should consider it. Usually the wedding IS near the bride’s family. You would not pay for very single person’s hotel room, and would you pay for their gas or anything else? Maybe they will get over it but there is no guarantee. 

Post # 3
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Barn with apple orchard

View original reply
love031:  2.5 hours isn’t even that long a drive! I’m so sorry your family is being difficult about this! It’s your wedding, and while it’s nice that your family wants to contribute, it sounds like they’re just making everything way more difficult. Plan the wedding you want.

Post # 4
Member
6549 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

My only input is, if you choose to have the wedding in your current town instead of your home town, you should graciously decline your parents’ offer of money, because that money for sure has strings attached.

Your choice really comes down to whether you would rather have your wedding in a location that you prefer but with few of your family members attending, or in your undesirable location with your complete family there. I can’t really give advice there because I don’t know how important your family is to you.

Post # 6
Member
269 posts
Helper bee

Since they are paying for 1/3 I think you need to consider what they want. But, if it were me, I’d have it in the city.  You live there, like it more, and planning and meeting vendors will be easier closer to where you are.

Post # 7
Member
2284 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

View original reply
love031:  I’ll tell you what my Future Mother-In-Law keeps telling me: “it’s your wedding, you do what you want!”. I can’t even believe that your parents would really not go to your wedding if you provided all the hotel stays, gas, etc. and really stuck to your guns. That’s just crazy. If it were me, I’d say “this is where we’re having it, either come or don’t”, but I’m kind of a d*ck lol. 

Post # 8
Member
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have it where you live. Your family is being silly- they can surely make a drive to the big city!

Post # 9
Member
1949 posts
Buzzing bee

What a difficult decision.  Have your parents visited and seen you life in your current city?  Maybe they will understand your point of view if they can witness how you are connected to your new home.  If being married in your current church is important for you that is very understandable.  Would it be possible to charter a bus to help with the transoprtation? You could even make a video about your lives with picture slideshows and what-not for entertainment on the trip.

Post # 10
Member
2340 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
love031:  personally I would pay for everything myself and have the wedding my fiancé and I wanted to have. It sounds like your family is being silly. Unless someone is in poor health a 2.5 hour drive isn’t a big deal. I seriously spent almost 6 hours in the car yesterday traveling to and from work meetings…and I’m alive and well today. 

Post # 12
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would tell your parents thanks for the offer, but decline the money. It’s pretty clear they have strong opinions on your wedding and they don’t allign with what you want. While yes, traditionally the wedding is near the bride’s family, we are so far past that these days. It sounds like logistically, your family is the smallest amount of people who need to travel. That coupled with the limited resources in your hometown – it makes sense to have the wedding where you live.

Post # 13
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My only advice is that you should plan the wedding where you and your fiance want it to happen. Don’t let anyone pressure you. It is ridiculous that family members are refusing to drive 2.5 hours — that’s 100% their problem. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your planning a wedding in the place where you live (or anywhere else, for that matter).

If you WANT to have the wedding in your home town, cool, go for it, but don’t do it because of this pressure you’re getting. 

Post # 15
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
love031:  I’m torn on this one. While I do think you should have your wedding where you want it, I also think you would want your family to be able to attend. Have you considered any options in-between the two locations? Something that is still desirable for you, but not so undesirable for your family?

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