Post # 1
Does the whole wedding planning and events make you both disappointed and grateful? This may make me sound like an ungrateful, bi-polar bride but throughout the wedding planning process and events leading up to it, I am feeling disappointed and grateful.
I’m extremely grateful for my friends who offered to help, spent hours with me crafting, listening to me vent, bought me gifts, showed up to events, and generally have been very excited and supportive for me. I feel incredibly blessed, especially by my bridesmaids, who have gone above and beyond to plan events, gone on multiple dress shopping trips, and just want to make me feel like a happy bride. I’m also thankful for vendors who have gone above and beyond already to make sure everything goes smoothly on our wedding day.
On the other hand, I am really diappointed when my friends whom I consider my closest choose not to attend my shower, bachelorette, and yet act as if they were interested in my wedding and life. I’m really diappointed by the number of no’s for my shower, bachelorette, and wedding. . .some legitimate but some others where they just had other better events to go to. I’m also disappointed in bridesmaids who do absolutely nothing (not that they HAVE to but a little gesture would be really nice. . .especially when other BM are doing so much) but would have been hurt & angry had they not been in my wedding party.
Maybe I’m alone, ungrateful, stressed, negative, or expected too much. I’m happy but I’m sad. . .
Can anyone relate?
**Thanks for listening – felt good to get it off my chest.
Post # 3
I can sort of relate. I’m super grateful for my future inlaws, who have been welcoming and absolutely wonderful, and for family and friends who seem genuinely interested in how things are coming along. Also, I really couldn’t ask for better vendors. It feels like they’re all working to make “my” day special, even though we’re one in a thousand weddings they’ll do this year.
That being said, though, I couldn’t be more disappointed in how my mother has been handling our engagement and upcoming wedding. She’s been the center of a lot of my wedding stress, and it’s difficult because I don’t know how to talk to her about it. I keep thinking at this point that I should be grateful she wants to be involved at all, but honestly I think things would be a lot smoother without her involvement. In my worst moments I keep coming back to the thought that all of this stress shouldn’t be my bridal experience. And I feel like you– maybe I just expect too much (like, um, a modicum of happiness and support).
Post # 4
I think a part of it too is that it’s such a “high stakes” event for us…where expectations are high so it’s easy to get disappointed.
Post # 5
That’s a good description of wedding planning! I felt the same way, some people surprised me by how supportive they were, others surprised me for not being there at all, or being difficult to deal with. Your wedding day will be worth it though, hang in there : )
Post # 6
I think when some people plan weddings, it becomes the centre of their existence. Obviously this is not the case for everyone else in their lives. Unless it is a family member, chances are I won’t be going to every single wedding event and bending over backwards. I also wouldn’t commit to being a BM if I couldn’t meet the bride’s expectations (some brides are unreasonable, and some aren’t – you can usually tell in advance).
People are just busy with a lot going on in their lives – I doubt anyone is trying to personally slight you with their actions. I’d focus on the things that make you grateful and forget the rest 🙂
Post # 7
@infinity092813: I dunno. I’m sad that over half of our guests can’t make it (though only one guest had a BS reason and was selfish about it) but I don’t really take it personally when someone can’t make it to something.
Post # 8
Don’t feel too bad…I’m experiencing the same thing. Especially when my FI’s groomsmen have been so great to him. For example, they planned this totally awesome bachelor weekend camping in WVA and all he had to do was show up. While I’m over here planning mine because not.a.single.person took the initiative to do anything. My MOH is no longer coming to my shower because her FI’s brother is getting married that day…which she found out about after the shower was planned. I’m kind of like “can’t he just go and you come to my shower?” but I don’t want to guilt her into it, so I haven’t said anything. I’m so thankful for everything my mom is doing for my wedding, but most of the time I want to scream at her to STFU about it. Luckily I haven’t gotten any “No” responses that I wasn’t happy about (is that mean? lol)