(Closed) Wedding “musts” you are skipping

posted 9 years ago in Traditions
Post # 107
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are skipping:

  • Dollar dance
  • Bouquet/garter toss
  • Receiving line

The dollar dance is going to be missed in our area but my parents are a little freaked by it and so am I. The tosses just aren’t us – going under my dress in front of our families was not going to happen. The receiving line we’re skipping so we can have more time for pictues; we plan to go around to tables and greet our friends and families during dinner.

Post # 108
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
@Nellular: Use sparklers for your exit! They always look so pretty in pictures and guests seem to like them…

I think that’s what we are going to use.

Post # 109
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Like a lot of others, I’m skipping everything that serves no real purpose and would cause extra hassle. Also, I’m in my thirties and some of the “traditions” (big bridal party, bouquet toss) seem more appropriate for younger brides. Just my opinion!

I’m ditching:

– Bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer — no people to coordinate!

– Unity candle/sand/whatever — these have always seemed a little…rinky-dink to me; isn’t that what the vows are for?

– Readings, songs, etc. — as a guest I feel like these are usually pretty dull to sit through and I’d prefer to keep things simple and sweet

– Programs — a program is a signal that the ceremony will be long! Mine will be short, so waste of paper and effort

– Decor — I chose my ceremony and reception venues because they are beautiful, full of character and need no decorating. I didn’t want to have to create the ambiance myself. 

– Centerpieces — My reception will be cocktail, mix-and-mingle style with a mixture of regular tables, high tables, couches and armchairs; there will also be lots of tables on the large balcony. Plenty of seating available, but not in the standard format, so centerpieces are pointless. Which means I will also have no:

– Table numbers or

– Flowers — Since I’m doing no centerpiecs/decor, they would only be for my bouquet, which I also don’t see the point of.

– Guestbook or any variations thereof — Don’t really see the point as my wedding is going to be small enough that I’ll remember who was there, and I don’t like being put on the spot to come up with something clever. There are only so many ways to say “We wish you the best!” Might get a photobooth and have that serve as a visual guestbook.

– Bouquet toss/garter fetching — utterly incompatible with my notion of a good time; besides there will be no bouquet or garter

– Wedding industry “stuff” like a cake carving set (just…why??)

– Toasts — not going to request any. If the spirit moves someone to talk, fine, but it won’t be planned for

– Special dances — We are taking dance lessons so we can dance at the wedding, but I haven’t decided whether we’ll do a first dance; they can be a little uncomfortable for guests. Parent dances only if the parents in question WANT to do them; otherwise, we’ll dance with our parents along with everyone else

– Special exit — I figure we’ll just walk to our hotel next door whenever we feel like it!

I DO plan to ply my guests with lots of good food, an open bar, good entertainment and a couple of fun extras that are specific to where I’m getting married. All I care about at the end of the day is that I’m married and everyone had a good time!

Post # 110
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Flower girl and ring bearer. I love the idea, but the families we would ask, it would be an added stress in their lives because they’re going through a lot personally. So we decided to just skip it.

Bubbles, and anything tossed on me. I hate that.

Post # 110
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Flower girl and ring bearer. I love the idea, but the families we would ask, it would be an added stress in their lives because they’re going through a lot personally. So we decided to just skip it.

Bubbles, and anything tossed on me. I hate that.

Post # 111
11 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012


What is a unity candle/sand!?

Post # 112
6 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are having a destination wedding and inviting only about 30 of our closest friends and family members. There’s going to be a lot that we won’t be doing.

1. I’m combining the welcome basket/favor idea. I’m going to get some wine glasses from the dollar store, make some diy coasters, and get a bottle of local wine/juice. 2 glasses, a set of coasters, and a beverage, along with some menus from the amazing local restaurants, is going to be in the rooms.

2. We’re doing the first dance because Fiance wants it, but there won’t be any other assigned dances.

3. I won’t be getting special champagne flutes, or a cake cutting set. There also won’t be any unity candles, sand pouring, etc.

4. As we are getting married at a resort, there will be zero transportation provided.

5. I’m not even buying shoes. The ceremony is on the beach, so I’ll be barefoot for that, and I will have on flip flops for the rest. I live in them normally, so why not?

6. I don’t want to keep my bridal party from their date/faily, so we are going to have a sweetheart table rather than a head table.

7. We won’t be doing a garter toss, and I’m considering the bouquet toss only because the toss bouquet will be free.

8. There will be no receiving line. Fiance and I are not that high class.

9. I’m not going to put anybody in the awkward position of emotionally speaking in front of a group, so there will be no planned speeches.

10. There will be no bubbles or seeds or petals for the end of the ceremony. I see nothing wrong with clapping.

11. No programs. With such a small group, everyone knows everyone else, so I think they are pretty pointless.

As we get closer I’m sure there will be more things that we decide to leave out.

Post # 113
15 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

THANK YOU BEEEEEES! I love this post! There are so many wedding traditions that I felt obligated to do (and can’t afford to) and now I don’t! I can totally pass on favors, speeches, and garter and bouquet toss!!!

Post # 115
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

-No flower girl or ring bearer

-No bouquet toss or garter

-No grand entrance – we’re doing a “first look” before the ceremony so we can mingle during the cocktail hour and enjoy ourselves

-No favors, we’re having a sundae bar at the end of the evening like some of the OP

– Fiance said please no rap/hip hop music

– No unity candle/sand/etc. in ceremony

-No limos – our house is less than 3 miles from the venue, I’m getting a town car instead

I can’t think of anything else but at this point whatever I can cut out I will, I’m getting tired of planning…

Post # 116
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No chairs at the ceremony site (it’s only a 10 minute ceremony!).

No wedding decorations at the ceremony or reception sites – they are beautiful already!

No fancy cars/limos.

No unity candle, sand ceremony, etc.

No DJ, band or dancing. No dancing, unless the mood strikes at the pig roast.

No dinner, buffet or otherwise! But lots of light refreshments and cake and a pig roast the next day.

NO ALCOHOL at the reception (neither of us drink alcohol). There will be beer at the pig roast.

No toasts or speeches

No toasting flutes, no cake-cutting set.


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