- 7 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Our wedding is slowly getting bigger and i’m not sure how I feel about it.
It started out as an elopement. And then we decided my parents should be there so it was going to be a casual wedding at City Hall. And then, he wanted to buy a fancy suit, which meant I wanted to get a fancy dress to match him. And then he invited a few friends, which, in his excitement, he followed up by inviting every single person we work with. So then I said “we should probably get a cake then…guests are probably going to want one” so we’ve decided to get a wedding cake in addition to the restaurant meal afterwards.
He said since he invited a bunch of friends, I should think about inviting some of mine, though I really would only want one person besides my parents to attend and he comes with his own set of drama – he’s been my best friend but when Fiance and I got together, he admitted feelings for me and said he can’t talk to me for a while cause he had to get over it – and I’ve just never heard from him since.
I know it’s still a small, casual wedding overall, and definitely without as much stress as many brides here are facing, but it’s not as intimate as I hoped it would be and I kind of feel like I have to put on a show for our guests. I don’t think I mind so much, as Fiance is really happy about getting married and wants to spread it around, but I do feel kind of inadequate now. It’s my wedding too, but I’m a people pleaser and I almost feel obligated to “keep up” with Fiance, even though all I really want is to get married and quietly enjoy the bliss without stressing over anything else or worrying about impressing guests.
I think right now, it’s not just the wedding, it’s also that we’re in the process of moving within the next month and I’m having job-search stress and then we’re planning two honeymoon trips, one of which is across the world where I meet his huge family who speaks no English and then we get a truly grand, giant ceremony over there.
I feel so unorganized and like I don’t really know what’s going on. We’re doing most of this by ear in a short amount of time and I prefer to be scheduled and to be certain about what’s going to happen.