(Closed) Wedding Night

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Did you wait for your wedding night?

    Yes, we didn't do anything sexy prior

    Yes, but we had done some sexy stuff beforehand

    Nope, nothing new there

  • Post # 2
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

    “My fiancé and I are both virgins.”

    “We are somewhat experienced sexually”

    These two statements don’t make sense together. Just because you haven’t vaginal penetration sex doesn’t make you a virgin. Oral sex is sex. Digital (hands/fingers) sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. Sex with toys or other aids is sex. Otherwise gay men and lesbians would all be virgins.

    Aren’t you good enough for him now? If you can’t talk to your fiance about the sex (penetrative or otherwise) you’re having now, then you guys shouldn’t be getting married. You should always be actively communicating during sex to make sure your partner is enjoying themself, and no one should be afraid to inform their partner if they are in pain or need different stimulation than they are receiving. 

    In short, talk to your Fiance, he’s the only one who can allay your fears about not being good enough.

    Post # 3
    1027 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    ElephantAndTheFlea:  agree. My Fiance and I were NOT virgins, but waited for eachother. It was great and I am glad we waited. If you are hoping to wait until wedding night, I would stop being too sexual…. I often didn’t feel “good enough” at the start, but things worked out, and it has only gotten beter. Talk to you Fiance about your concerns.

    Post # 4
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Say exactly what you wrote. Be completely honest.  He wants to hear your excited, but he also needs to hear your concerns. Talk to him about both.  You never know, he could have some concerns as well. 

    Post # 5
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I also would like to know how I could start the conversation about gently asking him to do things differently if I don’t like them.

    Be as simple and direct as possible. You won’t offend anyone if you are simple and direct about a topic or concern that you have. This is your husband-to-be. You have to trust in him, and you have to communicate with him before, during and after intimate moments and intimacy concerns. 

    Post # 6
    381 posts
    Helper bee

    To answer your questions:

    1) You could try reading and/or watching sex-ed videos to help you feel more comfortable about sex, yourself and your “abilities”.

    2) Minimize your excitement talk and focus on concerns. You are building up to what might turn up to be a stressful situation which can lead to major disappointed on both sides (your first time will probably hurt and not me instantly romantic or simple as in movies/books)

    3) Unless you say something like “I am scared that you might suck at sex and I won’t have a nice time because of you”, there shouldn’t be any reason for you to offend him by sharing your concerns. Be honest and straight forward.

    Post # 9
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    So just calm down first. you and your fiancee are not gonna find out each others likes and dislikes in the first night. heck, you are even gonna find out your own likes and dislikes the first night. have fun, be honest and enjoy each other your first time. and i can promise you even at my age at 45 sometimes, i still gotta pull up my big girl panties and talk to my fiancee about sexual likes and dislikes. our bodies are ever changing. 

    The topic ‘Wedding Night’ is closed to new replies.

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