(Closed) Wedding night disaster. Confused and upset

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
334 posts
Helper bee

That is super alarming bee. I would be absolutely terrified if I did that to my face while drunk and no one thought to take me to the hospital or at the very least book a doctors appointment for me!

I don’t have a whole lot of advice because the exact details of your situation are unknown but I would ask a craniofacial specialist (or pretty much any specialist who is good with broken bones from trauma) and ask what type of trauma it would take to damage your face to that extent. 

I would also see a dentist and get your teeth checked if your jaw is broken. You might have some dental issues that aren’t obvious right now of you suffered that much trauma to your facial region. 

Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I wish I had more to contribute but, I’m really sorry this happened to you, Bee 🙁 It makes me incredibly sad. 

Im shocked you were that drunk off of 4 drinks if you’re a regular drinker. I know you’re petite, but that seems odd especially if you’re a social drinker. Were they spaced out throughout the evening, did you remember to eat? 

Also, is it possible your husband was drunk? I’m not excusing his behavior whatsoever – at all- but maybe he was out of it too, and is ashamed by his behavior? Or maybe he didn’t notice the bleeding until later and now he feels guilty so he tried to cover it up in front of his parents because he didn’t take care of you? 

Regardless you need to talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel!

Post # 4
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

I have no idea what happened that night,  but I’d be pretty pissed if my Fiance saw what shape I was in and did nothing.   I think you should have a long talk with him.   It’s very suspect that he didn’t do more to help you and seemed hesitant to get you help.  I don’t think you’re over reacting at all.   Call him out on it!   And take care of yourself,  I hope your not in much pain. 

Post # 5
Member
2461 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
adorabella :  First off, I want to say that I’m incredibly sorry for what happened to you. I’m not sure what to think about the whole situation – it makes sense kind of, but is also a little alarming too. I would be very upset that no one took me to the hospital that night….was your husband/family drunk as well? I’m also not excusing his behavior, but is it possible that he was not in the right frame of mind either? You need to get your face checked out further. You also need to call him on his behavior…it is not okay that he didn’t take care of you a little better than that, regardless of what happened.

It could very well be that you got drugged. It’s easy for a bartender, someone walking past your drink, etc to slip something in there. My cousin’s now-wife got roofied at an outdoor concert. Now we don’t let her out of our sights when we’re at that concert. 

Post # 6
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
michelleh12 :  I can excuse the husband’s behaviour on the night, whether or not he was drunk, because maybe it didn’t initially seem so bad.

What I can’t excuse is his behaviour the next day. Why did he not rush his wife to ER when they both saw the next day how bad she was? And then why did he contradict, and even argue with, his wife in front of his parents?

Best case, he is embarassed and is covering himself, though that is still irresponsible and mean. I am wondering if he slipped OP a stronger drink and is embarassed about that. Worst case… I really don’t know.

Post # 7
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

Holy hell.

I would ask for 10001 details and try really hard to remember anything.

Holy crap, he let you bleed all over the bed and didn’t think to take you to the hospital?  It’s your FACE!  I’m surprised a social worker didn’t talk to you in the ER bc this whole situation is shady af.  

Post # 8
Member
10138 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

How do you get those kind of injuries by tumbling into a wall in a drunken stupor?

Did your husband have access to your drink while you weren’t looking?

People die from concussions like yours.  Yet your husband had no interest in getting you seen by a doctor.  Blood everywhere, a head injury, probable broken facial bones-and he simply ignores it all.  Victims aren’t the only ones who use denial as a defense mechanism against unbearable feelings.

Your injuries sound consistent with a blow to your face.  I’m surprised the ER doctors didn’t ask you about DV.

You are not safe.  Find somewhere to stay for awhile.

Post # 9
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Was he also drunk? He may be mis-remembering. Or perhaps he’s trying to minimize the severity of your injury to make himself feel less guilty. Try telling him your concerns and that it’s very important for you to feel safe with him in the future, that you would like him to get medical help for you even if he may think it’s unnecessary by his standards. 

Post # 10
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This is very alarming.

I don’t understand your husband’s reaction at all. I am very clumsy and I don’t think rolling into a wall should result in multiple facial fractures. 

Post # 11
Hostess
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Is it possible that he and his brother dropped you when they carried you to the room and he’s embarrassed to admit it? His behavior is very strange to me. If anyone can accurately identify a concussion, it would be an ER doc. Why would your husband argue with that!?

I don’t know if something less innocent happened to you, but if I were in your shoes, I’d be very careful about drinking, I’d be talking to a trusted friend or someone about all of this, and probably keeping a written record of any weird stuff out of your DH at all, and I’d be sitting him down to demand a more thorough explanation. I might be paranoid, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

Be careful, Bee! And I hope your face heals up quickly. 

Post # 12
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Are you sure he didn’t beat you?  Those injuries sound really bad.  I don’t think rolling off the bed would have caused all those broken bones in your face.  

This sounds like a really scary situation.  How was he before you got married?  I think you should stay with someone else for a few days while you figure out what might have happened.  Tell him that you need to stay with someone else to heal.

This doesn’t add up and doesn’t sound right at all.  

Post # 13
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

Honestly your behavior that night sounds more in line with drinking too much when you already have a concussion. Concussions really mimic drunken behavior. Is it possible you fell before you were truly drunk and that’s what caused this behavior? Either way I’m sorry, that’s super scary.

I will say that when my then boyfriend got a concussion he acted really different in weird ways and it totally freaked me out. Is it possible your husband just isn’t handling this stressful situation well? Still sucks and not really an excuse, but I can’t really see why he’d beat you, that seems like quite the conclusion to jump to unless you have prior abusive history with him. It’s quite easy to really mess up your face when drunk because you don’t naturally try to break your fall. 

Post # 14
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

Is there even any blood on the wall or some kind of sign of impact?  Sorry to post twice but sometimes it takes a minute to process things and realize that it’s not always wise to give the benefit of the doubt.

Your face is smashed.  You have a concussion.  Not only did your husband not give you any medical attention, but he downplayed your injuries.  And it just so happens that his story for how you got so injured sounds like the least probable freak accident ever.  You rolled into a wall?  How fast do you roll?  

It sounds pretty sociopathic to call facial bleeding & confusion “nbd”.  Better to leave & potentially hurt an innocent (but seriously lacking in empathy) husband’s feelings for a bit than to end up worse than this next time.

Please consider staying somewhere else for a while.

Post # 15
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

I am also worried that you were drugged. I don’t believe it’s possible for four drinks to cause someone to black out like that. Especially not for a regular drinker. 

The topic ‘Wedding night disaster. Confused and upset’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors