(Closed) Wedding night disaster. Confused and upset

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 166
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Hm, there are many things that popped out at me from the very beginning.

1. 4 drinks made you blacked out drunk when your a regular drinker?  That doesn’t add up. I am 4’11”.  My brother gave me a safe place to ‘test my limits’ because he didn’t want me to do it near any people that might not be safe.  It took 7 drinks for me to get blacked out drunk that night (I was about 98 lbs when this occured). And that was my first night drinking. No experience.

Either something was slipped in your drink, or you fell before you got to your hotel that night and had a concussion then.

2.  I am skeptical about a fall from a bed resulting in the extent of your injuries.  But I am no medical professional.

3. Your husbands reactions.  This part worries me the most.  Yes, sometimes people don’t have the best *initial* reaction to injuries (I sometimes laugh and then realize that something actually needs to be done).  But your husband had PLENTY of time to do something about your injuries.  When he saw the bruises, his immediate reaction should have been MINIMUM to go get you ice.

 

From here, I would start asking other people what happened.  Get photos from your photographer (also talk to them to see if they saw anything weird).  I hope you get your answers and are totally safe and heal quickly.

Post # 167
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

 

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cyntharella :  Regarding everyone’s favorite poster…

Isn’t it interesting when people try and backtrack/save their skin by asserting some sort of familiarty or common ground with people and experiences – when they need to justify an opinion by seeming to have some authority?

A medical professional disagrees with their opinion and oh, they just so happen to be a medical professional too. They offended someone who has had a traumatic experience? Well, wouldn’t you know it, they’ve had that traumatic experience too!

(Regardless of whether or not they actually share in those experiences is irrelevant. There is no cookie cutter way a rape victim should deal with the aftermath and telling someone they’ve dealt with the same issues and that they’re handling it wrong is gross.)

Post # 168
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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somathemagical :  

He also told his family that she didn’t have a concussion even though the Dr said she did.

I agree, it’s absolutely his behavior that is jarring.

Post # 169
Member
2498 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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redroses76 :  Agree with your whole post. I have personally seen very similar injuries. A friend of mine was walking home drunk and fell, hit her head on the curb and literally broke her face. Concussion, black eye, the works. She broke the bone near her eye (no clue the name) and her eye could have literally fallen out the Dr. said. So yes, these injuries could be sustained from a fall when you’re literally dead weight. 

I hate that some people on here jumped to the fact that he abused OP. It is quite possible that him and his brother dropped her by mistake being also drunk and he was totally ashamed by it. You never know. Was it right of him? Of course not!!!! But, drunk people do stupid things. 

Its really unfortunate that this happened to you OP. I can’t imagine this happening to me. That is one of the many reasons my Fiance and I will not be drinking much at our wedding.

I hope you update us soon.

Post # 170
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

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beevincent18 :  your friend hit her face on concrete, OP Fell off a bed onto a carpet.

tbe injuries received from this fall don’t add up, there’s something not quite right about it 

Post # 171
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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llevinso :  exactly! That’s how a partner should be. I get a menstrual cramp every month and EVERY time my Fiance will insist to take me to ER but i told him that the pain is not killing me. It’s just cramp. He basically just hates seeing me having to endure any kind of pain. If i were in OP situation, my Fiance would piggyback the entire hospital to me.

Post # 172
Member
607 posts
Busy bee

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beevincent18 :  Right, except that if my drunk husband dropped me trying to get my drunk ass home and BROKE MY FACE, you bet your ass I’d be in an ambulance right away and he would not have the need to LIE about the circumstances whatsoever.  So you’re drunk and you drop your wife? No big deal. In fact, it’s kind of one of those amazing honeymoon stories that you tell for the rest of your life.  

Except he didn’t help her. At all.  And then lied about the nature of her injuries to his parents.  WTF

Post # 173
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“I’m going to assume that people who claim to be medical professionals but victim blame and demonstrate zero compassion aren’t working with living humans and maybe mean like in a research capacity or doll hospital or something.”

Unfortunately, this is not always true. There are plenty of medical professionals who consider themselves superior to their patients and look for blame. They are the ones who, when you come into the ER after being sexually assauted, say, “were you wearing that?” and “how much did you have to drink?” Because, you know, personal responsibility only applies to the victim.

Post # 174
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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cyntharella :  can i give you a virtual hug? I am so so sorry of what happened to you. This is why we need a little empathy and just decency and humility in general. We never know whose trauma will be awakened by our heartless comments. Just remember many many of us are not like that. You’re a survivor Bee!

Post # 175
Member
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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jannigirl :  ok, lets assume for arguments sake that everything was the ops fault and the husband was a perfect gentleman that night. She still woke up with blood everywhere, a concussion, a broken nose and in pain. He was hesistent to believe it was bad, didn’t really want to take her to the hospital and then later lied to his parents about her concussion. 

How do you justify that reaction? It was acceptable because he had a right to be that mad at her drinking that he didn’t need to care about her safety and bodily harm? You can be mad at someone but still care about them enough to realize they need medical attention asap. 

Post # 176
Member
2498 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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whoswho :  Did she say what type of floors? Could have been concrete or hard floors. You don’t know how high the bed is, what the floors are, etc. etc. There are many unknowns. 

Post # 177
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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MrsMeowton :  “Please stop personally attacking me while I personally attack OP.” lol, okay. 

Lol, okay. (2)

Post # 178
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

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jannigirl :  there are a few bees where, when you see their avatar or username, you just KNOW that whatever they have to say is going to be trolling, snarky or just plain rude. 

Unfortunately, you’re one of those bees. I have read every post you’ve made on this thread to see if perhaps I was just misinterpreting what you were writing, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

 

Anway, OP – I’m so sorry you’re going through such a shitty situation. I don’t have much advice to add to what other bees have mentioned, but I hope things work out for the best for you. Please keep us posted. 

Post # 179
Member
11515 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Closing for review.

The topic ‘Wedding night disaster. Confused and upset’ is closed to new replies.

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