(Closed) wedding night help

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think planned parenthood can give you a check-up and offer you some birth control options (assuming you are in the US!) If not, condoms are great.  It is what I am planning on using until we start TTC.  

Try to relax and have a great time!  

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

How old are you?  I only ask because typically even if you’re a virgin doctors recommend getting an annual pap smear, so I’m trying to determine just how “late” you are on that.  If you’re interested in hormonal birth control it could probably be prescribed by a regular gp. Or I’ve heard that planned parenthood might be free/low cost for an exam and birth control pills. But you’d have to verify that with someone who knows the policI wherever you live. 

That said, no doctor is going to stretch out your vagina.  That’s not a procedure I’ve ever heard of under regular old virgin circumstances.  My first time… Yeah it was a little rough. Not sure what you’ve done fingers/oral/toy wise but my best advice is to have him give plenty of foreplay and buy a lubricant (I use astroglide and Ive always had a good experience with it). And don’t be expecting a 50 shades of gray experience right out the gate. It could very well be quick and not that pleasurable but you have a lifetime to work out he kinks!  I did have some minor bleeding afterwards so consider packing a few panty liners. 

Post # 5
Member
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@SapphireSun:  I think they’ve actually changed those rules, at least in the US, so that now its not necessary to get a pap until either you are over 21 or sexually active, and now it is only every 3 years (they informed me of this after I was 21 and had had one every year since I was 16… *sigh*) 

I think bringing a lubricant will be a very very good move for you, and just be sure to do lots of foreplay beforehand so you are turned on rather than super nervous.

But most of all remember, everyone who has had sex has lost their virginity at some point, and we all survived it just fine 🙂  Just enjoy the closeness of being with your new husband.

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

lots of foreplay, maybe some lubricant too, my first time actually did not hurt at all because i was so into it and I love him so much. But honestly it is different from person to person. Usually your local health department will help you out if you do not have health insurance(I do not have any and they helped me out). Also just try and relax and enjoy yourself and that will help too and go slow. You will be fine…

Post # 8
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My husband and I were virgins when we got married. A couple of things that helped us:

1. My obgyn gave me a dilator, at first I thought it was going to be really strange and not useful, but it actually helped a lot. The only ones I saw online were expensive sets, mine was just one with a graduated tip. If you’re in the US I wouldn’t be surprised if you could get one from planned parenthood or some similar place.

2. Like a PP said, it was good for us to have lube on hand, you might want it you might not but it’s best to be prepared. Our favorite is coconut oil, which drys clean and is supposed to help prevent UTIs (speaking of which, do always pee after sex, getting a UTI on your honeymoon would be a real downer. I was given cranberry tablet thigns as well, and we took those just to be safe, men can get UTIs too.).

3. I found that positions where I was in “control” of speed and depth were very helpful especially at first. 

Don’t be too nervous, our first time was great (though sex has certainly improved over time), have fun!

Post # 9
Member
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Expelliarmus:  yes!  Peeing right after reduces the risk of getting a UTI by a ton! You can also take cranberry supplements if necessary, the juice isn’t the only way.  Most cranberry juice is a cocktail and doesn’t contain much of the actual cranberry (and has tons of added sugars), and actual cranberry juice tastes pretty awful, IMO.

Post # 10
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

yes you are suppose to pee afterwards to clear out your urethra of any fluids that might creep in there and clean up yourself afterwards too. if you pee everytime afterwards you will have a less chance of getting a urinary tract infection(UTI). if you get a UTI, cranberry juice helps along with lots of water.

Post # 11
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MrsNerdy:  agreed. I tried cranberry juice shortly after our honeymoon, and I was excited because I’d never had any before. It was SO bitter, and I like tart things…

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MrsNerdy:  Oh, interesting. Here I’m pretty sure it’s still 18 and annual until you’ve had several normal ones in a row. Even now at 29 and never having a weird one I have to go bi-annually. Just goes to show how important it is to check the rules in your own area, OP!

Also, this maybe totally “duh” but for probably for some of us that lost it to silly highschool boys it wasn’t so I’ll say it just in case, but be sure he knows not to just like, jam it in.  I’m sure any guy is totally excited and heck after 7 years of just me my husband still gets a little overzealous sometimes.  You’re going to want to just inch it in slowly. Like really slowly. Inch in, wait for it to be comfortable, out, an inch further, wait for it to feel comfortable… Repeat as necessary.  I’d even say start with you on top so you can control it… But the intimacy of missionary is so nice for the first time too… So just do what you feel works. 

Post # 13
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Although coconut oil is used by some as a lubricant… You shouldnt use it with condoms. Condoms are intended to be used with water based lubricants (as oils can break down the latex leading to condom failure and pregnancy.
If you are not using a condom, this isn’t a concern.. but the OP said the intended to use condoms (presumably to prevent pregnancy since they’re both virgins), and it would therefore be counter-productive to use a lubricant that could cause the condoms to break.

 

Post # 14
Member
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@SapphireSun:  oh you still have to have an annual checkup, you just don’t have to necessarily have a pap unless you are having problems.

Post # 15
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Ms.Meghann:  You’re right! We’ve never used condems so I forgot about that. Coconut oil is definitely a no-go with latex condems. Thanks for bringing that up 🙂

Post # 16
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

+1 on the Astroglide lubricant. You can get it at Walmart/Target etc. by the condoms. Its scentless, tasteless, and waterbased, so its great if you’re sensitive down there to anything. 

Other than that, agreeing with @SapphireSun:  SLOWLY. Seriously. I prefer missionary usually for this (lay on your back), or girl on top (guy laying down, you straddling him) I think it’s easier to control.

And he will probably last like 30 seconds the first time, don’t be disappointed. You’ll have lots of time for the fun stuff! Sex usually sucks the first time. Especially if your hymen is intact. I might throw a towel down, you usually bleed if you haven’t used tampons the first time you have sex.

And good luck! And have fun. Even if it sucks the first few times, it will get better!

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