(Closed) Wedding Night Sex Worries

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would definitely try to get another gyno appointment.  Since they cancelled it, not you, they should be able to accomodate you.  And talk to your gyno about using the pills to sort of “reschedule” your period, which is super super common.

Using a condom is pretty simple, so I don’t think that would be a problem.  There’s tons of stuff on the internet about it.

Post # 4
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Calm down, things will be ok!

I was on the tail end of my period on my wedding night and it was ok. We just didn’t do any oral. If you’re not on any hormonal bc, it might be best if you’re on your period, because that’s one of the least fertile times of the month, for about the first 12 days after your period, if your cycle is anything like mine, which is pretty average.

And condoms don’t ruin sex and are not that hard to use. Practice yourself with a banana if it makes you feel better. The only condom mishaps I’ve ever had (with 2 years of using them as primary form of BC) was a couple times when they came off inside me. Now-DH could tell instantly when something went wrong and stopped to fix it.

As for your gyno, that cancellation is so incredibly unacceptable. I would call and bitch until he schedules another appointment in time to get you set for your wedding. I’d try to get another gyno appointment there, even after normal clinic hours (since they’ve created this urgent problem for you, they need to be going above and beyond to fix it). Or call anywhere around the city, or to your normal primary care physician.

Is this pressure you’re putting on yourself or your Fiance putting it on you? A good long talk about your expectations for your wedding night and sex life in general might be really a good idea.

Post # 6
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m not going to lie to you. There’s a pretty slim chance that you’re going to have mindblowing sex on your wedding night. Wedding exhaustion + first time + period will probably not end up great. BUT – these are the things that you bond over and lead to healthier, stronger sex lives. If the condom goes flying across the room when he tries to put it on, it will 1) break the tension and 2) become part of a story that you will look back and laugh on. If you fall asleep instead of having sex, you’ll have it the next day when you’re refreshed. If you’re on your period and don’t feel like having sex, wait until you’re off the rag and then go at it.

My advice is to stop looking at it as a “chore” and start anticipating finally being intimate with your partner on a whole new level. You will have a lifetime to practice and make it amazing.

Post # 7
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

See the male gyno. He is a professional. Mabye he can even prescribe you BC without you submitting to a full exam?

Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I understand that the idea of a male gyno seems awkward, but honestly it doesn’t make a difference what gender the doctor is. They’re professionals.

Post # 9
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

First time sex doesn’t have to be bad. The more comfortable you are with each other’s naked bodies and with bringing each other to orgasm the easier it will be. I had very few anxieties the first time I had sex with now-DH because he’d seen and adored my naked body countless times in the previous 4 years. And we were both very skilled using hands and mouths to get each other off. So we were sure that we were not going to be embarrassed and a fun time was going to be had by all. Our first time sex was not BAD, but it just got so much better that it kind of seems inept in comparison to the later amazingness.

You might not have 4 years of this kind of experience with your Fiance, but you could use the next month to get more comfortable with these kinds of activities if you choose and if you both think it’s the right thing to do before your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

You shouldn’t need an examination just to get the pill; the only things they need to do are take your blood pressure, and weigh you, and go through your medical history/famil history (eg they can be reluctant to prescribe it if there are a history of heart attacks or strokes in your family). I’ve been on the pill/other methods for 10 years now and have only ever had to have a gynae exam when I had a Mirena fitted (as obv they have to to fit it lol). I’m in the UK so maybe it’s different, but I can’t see why it would be. So personally, I would see a male gynae.

Failing that, you can get something called norethisterone which you can take before your period is due, and as long as you want to put it off for. Lots of women take this if they want to avoid a period while on holiday.

As far as condoms go, they’re not difficult to use, just follow the instructions. You basically take them out of the packet, and gently pinch the tip. You then gently roll it down the penis. Very simple, and like others said, you can practice on a banana/cucumber if you’re unsure 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Just take the appointment with the male gyno.  It’s not a big deal.  I personally prefer a female gyno, but if it was between seeing a male gyno or having my period on my honeymoon, I’d see the male gyno in a second.

And yeah, don’t get all worked up about first time sex.  Your first time overall is always kind of awkward, getting used to everything.  You’ll have plenty of time to practice.

Post # 12
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Also, you can request a female nurse in the room with you for the male gyno appt if that would make you feel more comfortable.  My first gyno was male… it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the end of the world either.

Post # 13
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Is there a local clinic in your area?  They would be able to prescribe birth control without a vaginal examination.

Post # 14
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Me personally, I can’t go to a male gynecologist–I dont’ know, it’s just creepy to me! However, if my female gyn. cancels on me, her practice let’s me see the female midwife instead (for just routine annual exams and getting my birth control). Is that an option at your doctor?

Post # 16
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nadadora: Glad that you got an appointment made!

Another bee, MuchGreater, had a few threads asking for advice about her wedding night (she was a virgin as well). Maybe check out this thread, this thread, and this thread for some wedding night advice from tons of bees. 

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