- Miss Tattoo
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Usually I have nightmares about red plastic cups making their way into my reception. *shudders*
Last night I had the most awful nightmare. I had a UBER TRADITIONAL WEDDING Y’ALL!!!! Like seriously uber trasitional. *disclaimer! There is nothing wrong with traditional. It’s just wrong for me!”
So it was so vivid. I was in the hotel with all of my bridesmaids getting ready in my fabulous Dolly Couture gown when my MOH’s mother start crying that I didn’t look like a bride. So I had a panic attack and went out to this store and purchased a Justin Alexander gown off the rack…like 2 hours before the ceremony. ha ha ha. So I’m in this big poofy dress and everyone is like ooohhh ahhhh woooow! And I feel okay but not great! I wanted a short dress. So I get my hair and makeup done and my sister starts crying that the birdcage doesn’t look good with the dress and that the hotel happen to have a cathedral length veil in the lobby for free. So we use that.
Now I look like a bride out of a magazine and we are going downstairs for our first look and my fake eyelashes start to come off. I tell the photographer to run back up to the room and get some glue and she was like “oh don’t worry! I will photoshop it back in place later!” Then my Maid/Matron of Honor just spit on my eye to hold it back in place. WTF!? So before we started the first look, the PRIEST (not having a priest! Our friend is officiating!) said that the CHURCH was full and we had to do this now! I was like WTF!? We are getting married OUTDOORS! WHERE IS MY GROOM! So the DOC was like, go back in the room and she’ll get the groom and groomsmen together to get into the church.
So I breathe. Fine. No big deal. Whatever. I just want to get married. So I’m walking down the aisle and my eyelash falls off and everyone is like “Awwww, she’s so beautiful! wow!!! what a vision!” And I’m like O_O
So I get to the front and Mr. Tattoo is CHEWING GUM and has a CIGARETTE LIT and the priest starts. I stop him and tell him that I WROTE THE CEREMONY from scratch and that this isn’t how it’s suppose to start. I demanded to know where the binder was and the priest told me to SHUT UP and there was no time for that!
So we skip the ring warming, the wine ceremony, and he told us we had to use the church’s vows. After it was over, I just stood in the receiving line and people were going around it to avoid me.
At the reception the colors were all wrong. It looked like a winter theme wedding in the middle of June (that was a thread on here yesterday I believe) and I had a huge cake instead of cupcakes. Then the DJ played the Chicken Dance and I went in the bathroom and screamed.
Then I woke up.
WTF. lol I just wanted to share. I think I need to stop looking at all things wedding!