(Closed) Wedding NIGHTMARE!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This is awful!!! What is your parents deal?

The only solution I think you deal with is the birth certificate. Do you have social/passport? If you know what state you can go to downtown/ main office of the state that keeps every birth on record and request it.  My original birth certificate fell apart and I think it took me one day to replace.

All I can say is keep your head up and focus on your wedding day!

Post # 4
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

geez, sounds like you are having a rough time. Why isn’t your family supportive of your marriage? I hope that things get better for you.

Post # 5
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My mom has ordered her birth certificate over the phone and had them send it to her. She was born in CT and lives in MD and there was no way she was going to trek up there just for that. Did you find out the city you were born in? If so call the records office there/look on their website and see if you can order it and expedite shipping. Your mother isn’t the only one who has this or has access to this document and its childish of her to withold it from you.

What is up with your family not attending? Do they not approve of your FI?

Post # 6
37 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Work on getting your birth certificate IMMEDIATELY! If the only way you can get a certified copy is from another state, then it could take 18 days just to get it, and then you still need the marriage license. 

I recently had a bit of a birth certificate fiasco too. Had to get our birth certificates authenticated at the state capitol two hours away on a Friday and then ship them to my wedding planner overseas to be due to their government on the following Wednesday! Incredibly stressful and expensive to have everything expedited, but they were delivered the morning they were due, and if we’d waited an extra day, we wouldn’t be having our wedding there.

Once you get that settled, you can spend more energy on the other stuff. Just lean on your fiance for support, it’s you against the world! But you don’t need them if you have each other! 

Post # 8
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Nightmare indeed! Frown I don’t have a whole lot of advice but here goes:

1. If they’re unsupportive of the relationship to the point where they’re willing to miss your wedding day, then maybe it’s for the best that they’re not attending. It really sucks and I can’t imagine how hurt you are, but your wedding day should be 100% good vibes…sounds like your parents just aren’t ready to accept your marriage – maybe over time they will.

2. Do you definitely need your BC for the license? Maybe they can take another form of ID? I’d call your county courthouse and explain the situation, maybe they can help you in some way.

3. Don’t rely on this Bridesmaid or Best Man for anything. Expect her not to show up, if she does great, if not, her loss.

4. If you can’t get in touch with your brother soon, have your Fiance walk you down the aisle – it would be a really romantic moment showing that you two are determined to have a great life together despite what others are doing to try to bring you down.

5. Take your dress to a new seamstress, today.

6. Find any shoe that will work, and cross this off your list, today.

7. Order a new petticoat, today.

8. You’re getting married in 18 days – this is the good news!! : ) You’re up against a lot, and if I were you I’d probably have lost my mind by now. But you haven’t. You’re strong and you’re going to make this work and marry the man you love. Try to use all this negativity as motivation to make your day everything you’ve dreamed of. Good luck & keep us updated!

Post # 9
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Take a deep breath. 

1. Your parents might change their minds yet.  Even if they don’t, do you really want people who don’t support you there?

2. The birth certificate is easy to fix, and most states will expedite requests if you live outside of the area (for a fee, of course).  Just go to google, enter ‘birth certificate’ and your state of birth.  Every state that I know of has a section on their website with detailed instructions on how to order a copy. 

3. She’s your Future Sister-In-Law – have your fiance call/email/text her and at least check in.

4. Get a plan B.  I don’t know what your brother’s relationship with your father is, but that may be impacting his communication with you.  Have a backup plan for walking down the aisle, maybe with your fiance, or by yourself. 

5. Talk to your alterations person.  Like not a freaked out ‘I may hate my dress’ talk, but a calm, ‘what can we do with this dress at this point’ talk.

6. If the shoes are from a department/chain store, pick up the phone and start calling locations!  They may ship to you especially if they know why, or you might be able to drive a bit and get them.  Also check in areas where your friends live, they may be willing to pick them up and get them to you if you ask nicely!

7. Get in touch with the postmaster.  Go down to the post office and talk to them instead of calling if you possibly can.  Tell him this is part of your wedding dress, you’ve tracked it this far, and you need his/her help.  They will seriously do their best to find it, especially if you’re nice about it.

8. Woohoo!  18 days left and all of this won’t mean anything, you’ll be getting MARRIED!

You’ve got this.  Just take a breath, roll up your sleeves and start calling.

Post # 10
526 posts
Busy bee

@VioletSky: +1


Definitely call and ask regarding the birth certificate.  They might be able to waive the requirement.


And if all else fails, just get married by a JOP after you get back from your honeymoon.  No one will ever know or care.

Post # 11
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Solis2013:  Easiest solution?  Get married in another state, like Florida, where they do not require birth certificates to obtain a marriage license.  You can still have the ceremony and reception as planned, just plan a quick mini-moon or vacation to a Florida courthouse in the near future to sign the official documents.

P.S. If you were born near a certain base then that may narrow down the city.  I don’t know why Vital Statistics would give you a hard time if you have the right state but wrong city.  Are you contacting the State Vital Statistics or the individual county Vital Statistics?  The State office should still be able to find your birth certificate even with the wrong city.  Maybe you should call them before sending in an application form to find out the protocol for when you don’t know the exact city you were born in.

Post # 12
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Sounds like beachbride1216’s suggestion is a winner here! Listen, I am soooo sorry about your situation. If I was closer I’d rock out my white skin and tattoo at your wedding as an act of solidarity 🙂 Kidding. Just breathe lady, it is what it is – don’t let others get you down because we must NEVER apologise for loving someone.


In the meantime some PPs have made great suggestions – walking down the aisle alone isn’t the worst. Crap all over your alterations person before it is too late and become a constant headache for postal workers. Goodluck and keep us updated.

Post # 14
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Solis2013:  So glad things have taken a turn for the better – congratulations on your upcoming wedding, I’m sure it will be amazing!

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