Post # 1
I’m having some major scares about this wedding planning business. This morning I awoke to my second wedding nightmare. This is the second nightmare that I have had like this – in my dream, on the wedding day I discovered that we forgot to do the wedding rehearsal, my fiancé and his groomsmen forgot to get haircuts and shaves, the designer completely screwed up our décor, the wedding coordinator never showed up, and worst of all, my caterer forgot to make all of the wonderful food that we approved in the contract. Bottom line – it was an absolute fiasco!
Here’s where I believe it all stems from – my fiancé and I are paying for this wedding ourselves. We live in NYC – so the expense is quite gargantuan to say the least. Like most young adults our age, we didn’t have a large lump sum of money sitting in an account when I officially started planning. We had some money saved, but it soon disappeared with securing our initial vendors. So…to date we are saving as we go. But that doesn’t change the fact that we still have more deposits to give to other vendors. It seems nearly impossible to realistically save and pay these people all at the same time. While some of the vendors are extremely flexible with us, some are not and are requiring their deposits not now, but RIGHT NOW! So…it’s been really stressful trying to come up with all of this money at once – its driving me freaking crazy!
The good things is, with my well calculated savings plan and ultra strict budget (ramen noodles and kool aid is gourmet IN 2008 – LOL), we will have all of the money together right before the wedding. But the reality is we need to save it to get there. Also, I don’t want to chance losing any of my key vendors – caterer, designer, and photographer – because of this. And of course these three are the most expensive – ugh!
My questions to you lovelies out there are – if you were or are in a predicament similar to mine, how did you manage to do it? How were you able to save the money and write checks at the same time? Lastly, how did you keep your most coveted vendors at bay (with no deposit down) without losing them? Any advice that you lovelies could provide, would be soooooo helpful! Thanks so much!
Post # 3
We’ve (I’ve) only just started planning our March ’09 wedding , so I unfortunatly don’t have much advice on the budgeting. I think they key is being up front. And try not to take too much personally. While YOU know you will pay them , I’m sure they have been stiffed before.Â
On another note , I’ve already started having stress dreams. Do your best to meditate , or do whatever you can find to relive some stress as often as possiable. It will help!!
Good luck and congrats!!!!
Post # 4
I know it’s very bad advice to tell you to take out a loan but if it will only be for a few months while you save the money to pay it back you might want to consider taking out a loan on your 401K. You’ll pay a little bit of interest but at least there is no penalty to pay it back in a couple of months.
Post # 5
i don’t really have money advice, but i wanted to let you know that i have wedding nightmares too and they do get better! mine usually occur when i’m super stressed out. it usually comes with insomnia too where you lay awake thinking about stupid wedding things. i don’t do wedding stuff right before bed anymore and it’s been helping!
Post # 6
I guess I can’t classify any of my wedding dreams as nightmares, but some of them have been disturbing and weird. I had one that went on and on, in which I had somehow left my overnight bag for our mini-moon somewhere terrible, like in an airport or on an airplane (even though we’re not travelling for our wedding). And I couldn’t go to the wedding without it, and then somehow my sister’s baby was with the bag wherever it was, and every time we thought we had found the bag and baby they were somewhere else… and I’m running around in my wedding dress the whole dream. And the whole time I know its just a crazy dream, but somehow I can’t wake up.
I recommend a long, hot bath before bed – preferably with some nice bath salts, and remember – no bridal magazines in the bathtub!!! Get yourself a nice, trashy novel and don’t even think about weddings for at least 30 minutes before bedtime.
Post # 7
Wow… I know exactly how you feel. I am also having a wedding in NYC in 6 months, and the cost of everything is just outrageous. I’m so jealous of the midwest brides who pay a fraction of the cost for each vendor! I was relying on my end-of-year bonus to cover a good part of our wedding, and thanks to the market, the bonus is barely a drop in the bucket for our expenses.
We are doing the dangerous thing by putting vendor deposits on a credit card and paying as much off as we can each month, so that the rewards points go towards the honeymoon. I’m hoping other replies will give you better advice- I need it too!
Post # 8
I have no real advice for your budget, but just wanted to tell you it sounds like your handling it pretty well. I see your wedding’s a little more than half a year away- even if the vendors are screaming for deposits RIGHT now, they still might be reluctant to drop you as it may be hard to book someone else for that date. Just be as communicative with them as possible. A person who’s in frequent contact with you is not likely to dodge any final bill!
I’m with you on the dreams. My most interesting to date involved me running around a grocery store (in wedding gown mind you) with one of my bridesmaids in tow, trying to carry as many frozen dinners as possbile for the reception. My mom continued to call my cell as she searched high and low for a church that would stop their Sunday service to do our ceremony (as in, strait from grocery store with frozen dinners, to church, on foot). The worst part of the dream is that my fiance played no part in it, which made wake up a very sad girl. Some of the suggestions above are really good, and I’ll give them a try myself :).
P.S. Just thinking- you live in NYC. I’m sure you love, love, LOVE, the vendors you’ve got planned on using for your wedding. But if one of them is not so nice, you’ve got the best of the best in spades at your fingertips. You’re quite lucky like that. And anyone who dumps you when you’re trying to work with them, doesn’t deserve your business! Good luck!
Post # 9
I would just like to say, on behalf of the midwest, that a wedding in CHICAGO is almost as expensive as NYC. That’s why I’m opting for a destination wedding. I couldn’t deal with the city nonsense. With all the hidden “city of chicago service taxes” added onto different bills, we were looking at $40,000 for our 150 guest wedding. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
So, now we are getting married on the beach with 50 guests and it should cost half as much (about 20k) when all is said and done.
As for credit cards…tricky ground. On the one hand, those credit card points and mileage can REALLY add up to pay for stuff on your honeymoon. On the other hand, if you only pay the minimum balance every month, you’re gonna get royally screwed on interest.
Personally, I would put some on credit cards and try to get a loan for the rest. Even try hitting up rich relatives for a loan before you go to the bank. They might give you one interest-free, or very low interest.