(Closed) Wedding NOT Reception

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Personally, I would feel a little slighted to be invited to a ceremony only…

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as it’s informal. Like “Hey, if you want you can come to my wedding ceremony!” No written invitation or anything like that.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that’s extremely rude. you’re telling people they’re not good enough for you to spend your money on.

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@DeathByDesign: I can see it working if it’s casual like that.

My best friend did that to my parents and they were ok with it.  I was in the wedding party so I had to be there WAY early.  My husband was getting a ride with my parents so she was just like… you should just come in and watch then!

I’m just saying I’d be upset if I received a regular invite only to arrive to find out there’s more part that I’m not invited for.

Post # 7
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes, I personally believe that it may be considered tacky or rude.  If you can’t invite them to the reception, you can’t invite them to the ceremony.  Plus, people tend to follow one another from the ceremony to the reception, and you may feel really awkward if you have unexpected people showing up at the reception when they were only supposed to attend the ceremony.

 I understand that sometimes people have very intimate ceremonies and larger receptions, and that is generally accepted.  The reverse, however, typically isn’t.  

Post # 9
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yes, I would be very offended.  In my eyes, it is just like asking for a gift, but not wanting to spend any money on food or alcohol. I would not come.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah its rude.  You can just have a cake/drink reception after the ceremony and only dinner for closer firends.

Post # 11
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As a guest, I’d feel insulted if I were invited to the ceremony, and then excluded from the reception. 

Post # 12
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

In a word, yes it’s rude. What you are saying (albeit unintentionally) by doing so is: “You’re good enough to come and celebrate us at our ceremony, but not good enough for us to want to treat you at our reception. And by the way, may we have a gift?”

 

Post # 13
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KevinsWife:

I think its fine if you have a mini reception for everyone.

Post # 14
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@KevinsWife: if people really want to come, I don’t see why it’s so terrible to casually tell them they could come to your ceremony if they really want to. If they don’t want to go to only the ceremony, then they can just decline. *shrugs*

I think it’s especially fine if you will have juice/cookies after the ceremony for everyone.

Post # 15
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly would be pretty irritated if I came for the ceremony but couldn’t stay for the reception. I understand you are trying to include people in your day anyway you can, but it can come off hurtful.

ETA: I guess if you said to them up front “As much as we would love to have everyone at both the ceremony and the reception, unfortunately we can’t. You are welcome to come to the ceremony if you would like to watch us be married.” Or something like that, I could understand. If I got a formal invite with no mention of just being invited to the ceremony, that’s where I would be irritated

Post # 16
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would never do this. I think it’s a big no no. If you aren’t able to invite them to the reception then don’t invite them at all.

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