Wedding officiant blowing us off?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Well, if this is important to the Fiance, what does he think about the whole thing? If he isnt on the wagon of finding someone else then you need to very clearly wright out to the pastor all the missed appointments and dates etc and then request a complete appointment schedule for whatever is remaining. I’d do something like..

– Paid XXX for Online Q’s on 00/00/0000
– Sessions Schedule For 00/00/000 – CXLed due to XYZ
-Session Scheodules for 00/00/000 – CXLed due to no show 

I am sure you get the point. 

Post # 3
Member
2074 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

If you can find another pastor who is available and your church is fine with it then go ahead, I can’t stand it when people are being flaky with my time, especially if its THEIR requirement.  If not, then I suggest picking up the phone and talking with him directly and rescheduling with an idea that cancellations will involve makeup dates that are expressly stated.  

Post # 7
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
cj2018 :  That sounds awful! I’d be so frustrated with this situaiton. Is there an assistant pastor or someone else in the church you can contact to help you get through this process?

Post # 9
Member
2074 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
cj2018 :  If he’s to busy to even do the duty why would this be enforced by the church and would you allow this to interfere with the wedding???

Honestly, bee I’d go somewhere else for the counseling or more directly, I’d have my Fiance call him out.

Post # 10
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper

I would give the benefit of the doubt.  

1.  You still have plenty of time.  You could likely knock it out over a couple of weeks and if he isn’t overly concerned about having enough time for it, I wouldn’t be that concerned since it is his thing.  Granted it is annoying and you have your own life to plan.

2.  The holiday season is typically very busy for most religious leaders.  However busy you are with your own family is just how busy he is along with numerous extra church events over the season, typically extra services, as well as charitable actions and visiting parishioners who are unable to leave the house, etc.  Every pastor I have known gets run completely ragged over the holiday season and then also over Lent and Easter (though not quite as extensively).

3.  Pastors get called upon in emergency situations more frequently than you realize.  Whether it is someone having difficulties and needing a counselor of sorts, visiting parishioners in the hospital, helping people in times of personal or other crisis, and then deaths and preparing funerals in short notice.  Most pastors I know keep regular hours, but sort of end up on-call 24/7.

4.  If roads are bad, it doesn’t matter if it is 1 mile, 3 miles, or 20 miles.  Most car accidents occur within 5 miles of your home, 30% within 1 mile.  I watched a car skid into a lamppost a block and a half from my house during our snow on Sunday.  He made a judgment call.  

And not responding to a text within an hour is not a mortal sin.  Many people are not attached to their phones or free to respond immediately.

Just send an email or whatever is his preferred method, express concern about having enough time to complete this, especially with the Lenten season approaching, and take it from there.

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