(Closed) Wedding on future SIL birthday?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’d say just double check with her.  If she doesn’t have an issue with it, just have the DJ wish her a happy birthday and maybe have a cupcake for her at the reception.

ETA: I just noticed it’s her 21st… so a cupcake and a shot! haha

Post # 4
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have the same thing!! My Future Sister-In-Law is quite excited that she will share her birthday with our wedding/anniversary in the future!  Just talk to her and make sure, and then go from there, I highly doubt she would make an issue.  If there was something she was upset about, maybe consider doing something special to honour that day (doesnt have to be in the ceremony.reception) but maybe something earlier in the day to recognize her birthday while you are getting ready!

Post # 5
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It is her 21st though, so expect that she may want to cut out early to go out with friends.

Post # 6
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Our wedding date is on my SIL’s birthday, too!  I didnt’ do it on purpose but it happens to be the day it falls on (first Friday of June). I didn’t ask her, though, before I picked the date; didn’t think it’d be a big deal.  She lives on the other side of the planet, anyway.  I did point it out to my brother and my SIL, though, in an excited tone saying that we’ll celebrate her bday and our wedding together!  I am thinking of mentioning that it’s her bday on the day off during the toast or something.  ๐Ÿ™‚  To me, it’s just a double celebration!   I don’t think she minds (and it didn’t seem like she minded, either.)

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you can postpone it another week, I think you should. It’s her 21st birthday and I think that deserves a special day just like your wedding deserves it’s special day. Even if she would say she wouldn’t care, it’s still a nice gesture to pick a different date.

Post # 8
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

As someone who turned 21 fairly recently I would love to share my birthday with your wedding ๐Ÿ™‚ I agree to ask her and make sure she doesn’t mind first, though. Plus if you are having an open bar of some type what better way to spend your 21st birthday than with free drinks ๐Ÿ˜‰ If you aren’t having an open bar maybe offer her a special drink on the house.

As an added bonus, and this would be completely optional extra cool think for a Future Sister-In-Law to do, extend an invite to her best friend or something so they can celebrate together?

And lastly, don’t mind if she ducks out a little early in order to go out with friends ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m in agreeance with EAQ219, its her 21st, if you can do it another date without messing up a whole bunch of stuff, I’m sure she would appreciate it.

I didn’t choose the weekend before my date because there was a birthday conflict, granted it was a kid (who I want to be in the wedding as a ring bearer), and I’m sure your Future Sister-In-Law will understand better than a 10 year old.

Post # 10
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d move it if you can.  21st is a special birthday and I’m sure she wants to celebrate it with her friends (not your family and friends).  

Post # 11
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d move it if you can.  21st is a special birthday and I’m sure she wants to celebrate it with her friends (not your family and friends).  

Post # 12
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

Personally i wouldn’t, mainly because your anniversary will ALWAYS be on her birthday. Maybe your family is different, but we get together for birthdays.. so i am trying to avoid certain dates when i pick my venue.

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

This happened to me – my future sister in law had her wedding on my birthday and our (me and FI) anniversary.  I was not really happy about it. But now that I’m planning my own, I can understand that you can’t make everyone happy with the date you pick – you have to do what works for you. It’s always going to be someone’s bday or whatever. If it works, just do it. 

Post # 14
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d try for another date. It’s her special 21st birthday.

Post # 15
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

yeah, I’d be pissed if my brother got married on my birthday. would have been double pissed if it’d been my 21st!

DEFINITELY check with her, give her time to think about it, and make sure she’s being honest.

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