(Closed) Wedding or Elope??

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

While I don’t fall into those categories yet, I am planning to elope. There are a lot of factors to this, some is not even wanting to attempt to navigate the family drama if we did throw a wedding (not saying there won’t be some for eloping, but we stand by our decision.). We are happy to spend the money on eloping (about $5k total, but only about $1k is going to the actual wedding, the rest is all vacation related expenses) because it means us getting two desparately needed vacations (one for the wedding and a honeymoon the next month), and all that time together. 

Neither of us are party people, and we are pretty private and would not want a large amount of attention focused on us. Timing is also a factor.

But anyway, all-in-all, I think its a really personal decision. I am incredibly excited to be marrying my Fiance with just the two of us. I don’t think we will regret our decision, and neither of us sees the point of spending $10k and up for one day.

Post # 4
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Why not have a smaller, intimate wedding on a smaller budget?  I had a small destination wedding(less than 30 people) and having our closest friends and family there meant so much to us.  I also didn’t want to deprive my parents of being able to see their daughter marry(I’m likely gonna be the only married child of theirs). I briefly thought about eloping(esp when planning got hectic) but I’m so glad we didn’t cause I think it would have been something we would have seriously regretted later on.

 

So just to let you know, there are more options than huge, pricey wedding or eloping.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, technically, I will get to do both in my lifetime…

First time round, big white pouffy family church wedding with over 100 Guests.

This time round, an Elopement to a Destination Wedding… just the 2 of us saying our Vows on the Beach with the Officiant.  After our Honeymoon, we’ll be having a Back Home Reception / Party for family & friends.

I honestly see PROS and CONS to both.

But honestly I think that a Destination Wedding (either as an Elopement or small with family) is the best of BOTH worlds, because the stress seems a bit less (or different) and less folks to worry about.  By the time the Back Home Reception rolls around “the deed is done” so you don’t have to put up with everyone’s PERSONAL DRAMA when planning.  And Back Home Receptions don’t have the same Rules of Etiquette applied to them so strictly… these celebrations can literally be whatever you want them to be… there is no right and wrong.  Your Guests will either come or they won’t based on their relationship with you… and that they are happy that you have gotten married.  So not so many crazy issues like who sits where, who can and can’t bring a date etc.

Come January, I’ll be able to give you my full perspective.

 

Post # 6
Member
4951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you just really have to decide what will be best for you. I had a traditional wedding the first time (though it was not $18k – more like $3k-$5k). This time, I eloped. And it was soooo much better!

What about an intimate wedding with a small number of guests? You can still have the wedding dream without the higher cost. Or maybe a destination wedding.

Post # 7
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with the PPs. You don’t seem totally sold on an elopement and the idea of spending 18K on a wedding gives you the heebie-jeebies. I think you should do a small wedding so that you can still have the “traditional” feel, but save a lot more time, money, and stress. It all depends on what you and your Fiance feel is right in your hearts. I’ve seen some weddings that turned out beautifully and you would never know it didn’t cost a cent over 7k. 

Good luck with whatever decision you will make. In the end, you will be marrying the man you love and that is the ultimate goal, right? 

Post # 8
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

Im a pre-wedding bee and you asked for post but I thought Id answer since I already know how Im going to feel.

I vote to elope. We arent, and the thought that we are spending ~$12K on a party honestly makes me physically ill. I wish I had pushed for Las Vegas.

 

Post # 9
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Before getting engaged I hoped to plan the not-too-fancy-but-still-somewhat-traditional and romantic wedding of my dreams for under $10,000.  Now that I am engaged and REALLY starting to (try to) plan, I am realizing how hard it will be to have my dream wedding with that budget.  Even though I don’t want a super fancy wedding things still add up quickly!  I have gotten so frustrated I’m at the point where I think I’d rather elope, but my fiance reminds me frequently that I’d probably regret not having a “real wedding” and he’s trying to convince me that I won’t regret bumping my budget up to $12k or $15k.  Even if some of the funds come from my parents or his, I hate the thought of spending so much money on myself.

Post # 10
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@SarahAthena:  I eloped last Friday. What I loved the most was just being there with my fiance. It was amazing. It was just about us. We got breakfast together and a couple’s massage. We got ready together. He helped me zip my dress and find my accessories and made me laugh. He held my hands, held my dress, helped me through the trees to our photography site. It was just us and I loved it.

I think it really depends on what type of relationship you have. My finace and I have a really private relationship and we wanted our union to be celebrated that way. While I love being the center of attention and the thought of having 100 people focused on me would of been nice, it’s not how I wanted my wedding.

That being said, we are having a wedding celebration later this spring/summer and one day we’ll have a vow renewal. Then I’ll get to be the focus and have everyone around to celebrate our marriage. Basically I’ll get the best of both worlds.

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