(Closed) wedding or house?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 2
1125 posts
Bumble bee

If a house is very important to you, I’d use the money for that rather than a party. However, it’s not impossible to have an inexpensive wedding, just harder than if you had a bunch of money to use on it. We spent 6k for 115 people on a Friday night, and it was all perfect. There’s tons of things you can do to have both a wedding and money leftover towards a house down payment!

Post # 3
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

cincakes:  House! You will always need a place to live and marriage is NEVER 100%, especially in this day and age. 

Post # 4
9346 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

The answer will always be house for me.

Post # 5
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If it was between those two with the money I had, I would hands down go for a house.

Post # 6
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I look at it this way, a wedding is 10 hours of your life, a house is something you build a life in together. There is no competition in my mind. 

Post # 7
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

cincakes:  A wedding is one party on one day. A house is something that you will use and enjoy for years and (presumably) get your money back out of it when/if you sell. The house is an investment, the wedding is a one shot deal. I’d go for the house with a smaller wedding.

Post # 8
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

House. No question.  You could always do a really cute little courthouse ceremony with a relaxed/casual party afterwards with family and friends on the cheap.  

I was veto’d on having a courthouse ceremony and party afterwards and pushed into having a huge wedding.  When I think about how much money is being spent on a one day party, it makes me sick. I wish more than anything we could have used the money on a house, new car, or even just put in savings!

Plus, what is important is the marriage… not the wedding.

Post # 9
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

cincakes:  House first, wedding later!! Trust me you want to live together before!

Post # 10
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

A house is more worth the money

Post # 11
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

Where are you two living now? An apartment? With parents? How important is it for the two of you to own a home right away? Is renting an option? If you’re struggling for a downpayment on a home, are you going to earn enought to comfortably live in it after and pay for all the bills and upkeep a household requires? A house is forever and there’s always going to be options, a wedding happens (hopefully) once in your lifetime, how invested are you in celebrating it exactly how you want? Is it possible to save a little for both at the same time? It would require pushing off the wedding a little bit, but then that way when you do get married you won’t feel like you have no fall back whatsoever when it comes to saving for a house (this is sort of what I did).

I guess the way I see it, there’s a lot of variables. My Fiance and I don’t yet live in our own place. We live with my parents as we save for the wedding. I didn’t really want to move in together until after we were married, call me old fashioned. However, the goal is to move out and rent a home after we’re wed as we won’t have enough for a downpayment but can support ourselves otherwise after we won’t be tucking away so much for the wedding.

We’re already exploring possible housing options. None of them are extremely extravagent or close to actually purchasing a home. But it’s not like we’re throwing in the towel in just because we spent a lot on a wedding instead of a downpayment. Maybe it’ll mean a year or two in a cramped apartment or trailor home to save up. That’s okay with us. We’ll be married, in our first home and working toward that new goal of our first house. It works for us and we’re both on board with it, and I think you need to examine some of these details with your Fiance before making any rash decisions. It’s always going to be a lot of money either way. The nice thing is there’s always potential to make more of it.

Edit: And as someone living in the Bay Area, I personally don’t think 10k is going to get very far when it comes to a downpayment. For sure, I don’t know how your housing market is compared to ours, but make sure you have a good understanding of how much it could really wind up costing.

Post # 12
11527 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

if it were me, I’d get the house. I would get a nice dress and have Fiance get dressed nicely so we could have some good pictures of our wedding and then I’d do a close family dinner. Done and done. 

Post # 13
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

cincakes:  Honestly if you have a choice for a house or a wedding. I go for the house. A wedding is one day of your entire life. A house is a lifetime. 


Post # 14
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

cincakes:  House is my vote but a marriage certificate first. Head down the the courthouse and legally bind yourselves before making a huge purchase like that together. Good luck! You’ve got time, thankfully 🙂

Post # 15
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Wedding is day, a home is for much longer than that. I’d always vote for house.

As PP said courthouse wedding with casual post party would be charming and not break the bank.

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