Post # 1
I have a dilemma, and everybody here is so incredibly helpful i would love opinions on my next struggle. Fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. I am 21 and hes 22, he has a huge family so we wouldnt be able to have a wedding under 150 people. At the moment we are looking to spend about 30k on the wedding. (no loans etc, all cash) problem is, if we spend that much on our wedding we wont be able to buy a house, we would have to rent. But if we stay under 10k for the wedding we would be able to buy a house. I know its selfish to want a wedding but i have this inner struggle. As a girl I have always wanted to have my wedding day. Its the day you say yes to spedning the rest of your life with one man, and its important to me. But on the other side owning a house is so much smarter than throwing it away on a wedding only you will remember. I cant seem to make up my mind. My Fiance is okay doing whatever I want to (although I know he prefers buying a house) My other problem is, weddings in our area start at 20k and go up. even the cheap venues are expensive! and Im not much into rustic, i think i prefer more traditional. I dont know im all over the place, I think essentially what im asking is bees who have spent over 20k on your wedding did you regret it? Why or why not? and how do you let go of this almost guilty feeling spending so much money for one day? It blows my mind! I knew what prices were going into all this but it honestly makes me just want to get eloped. (out of the westion because fiance’s family would have to come and he has 13 brothers and sisters all married with at least 2-4 kids each, all from the same mother and father.) yes i have at least 30 neices and nephews, or i will at least. haha
Post # 2
I think buying a house is a much a better use of your money. While of course I understand wanting all of his or your family to be present, if you still want a wedding than you will need to cut that guest list down. Why not consider having a more intimate ceremony/reception? You could consider doing it at a restaurant vs. a traditional wedding venue as you mentioned usually wedding venues are very expensive! I think most families would understand that a house takes priority over a party, especially if the family isn’t financially contributing.
Post # 3
The first time I got married I reeeeeeeeally wanted a house and not a wedding. My husband was Catholic so it was important for him to be married in the church and he wanted the wedding so I caved. I mean, it was a great day, but I still would’ve rather had that house. It didnt’ take us too long after to get one, though. A few years, I think.
Post # 4
I spent well over $20k and don’t regret it one bit. BUT
I already had a house. Although I did choose the wedding over the kitchen renovations and I don’t regret that either (but a few years later I’m getting antsy to do this reno….)
If it had been a choice between buying a home and a wedding I’d buy the house every time.
Post # 5
As much fun as a PARTY can be, I would be practical and spend it on a house.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal
I went through the same exact dilemma. We want back and forth for two years and finally decided to put the wedding funds towards a down payment on a house. Weddings are also stupid expensive where I live (Northern California). While I also really wanted a wedding, spending 30k+ on one day seemed crazy. What about having a small destination wedding? By the way, you are very mature for your age. Had I gotten married at 22, I would have hands down picked a wedding.
Post # 7
Obviously a house is more practical but I’m not going to lie I’d still want a wedding even if it meant delaying buying a home for a few years, especially if I was as young as you. Would you be willing to do cake and punch or another cheaper alternative so you can do both? Or can you really not elope? People would get over it.
Post # 8
House. Get married at the new house, invite as many as will fit.
Post # 9
I think house trumps wedding. We had a house when we were married but had we not had one, I would have definitely put the money towards buying a home
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens
I’d see how you can find cheaper options to still have a wedding of that size! It’s possible to do it cheaper, you might just have to compromise on extra aspects. Cheap venues are out there, look at public places or places owned by the city. Perhaps an appetizer reception instead of a sitdown dinner, find a student photographer instead of a professional, a cheaper dress? There’s lots of ways to cut down! Or take longer to save up to have it. A wedding is special, but to get a house would make a huge financial difference to you in the long run.
Post # 11
have a big wedding in the park or a church, for practically nothing, do it in the mid afternoon and serve cake and punch. keep it casual.
Seriously buy the house. A house sets up your future for life. A 30,000 dollar party is one day. ONE DAY. that’s it.
Post # 12
I would 100% go for buying the house. I see it as much more important than having a big wedding. If I were you, I would either make the 10k work for a wedding, or else waiting a year or two more to get married so that you can save up for the big wedding that you want.
I do get your dilemma though. It is very hard to choose the more practical thing against your true desires. You’re very lucky to have a Fiance who is willing to go against his own wishes to make you happy. I would still keep in mind what HE wants, though, and take that into account in your decision making. Although he is willing to do what you want, I would be very hesitant to make a big decision like this without considering what he wants.
Post # 13
if you are flexible with wedding dates, you could probably do both.
if you would/coulc consider the friday or saturday after thanksgiving (or less desirable dates like that) and do research on venues… you could probably budget for both a wedding and the house. i also live in a very very expensive area and we looked at venues for thanksgiving weekend and we got quotes for 150-200, full on wedding with most of the bells and whistles, for around 12K.
Post # 14
A year after the wedding which choice do you think you’ll wish you had made?
Have a small wedding in your new backyard. Have your cake and eat it, too!!
Post # 15
I just wanna know where you’re buying with $20K so I can move there. Lol.