Post # 1
Hi girls. I am currently in a delima. As some of you know I live here in Japan where a lot of madness has taken place recently. Things seem to be improving so we are hoping to start where we left off soon.
We had an amazing wedding planned here and a simple wedding planned for America.
just to put you into my frame of mind. i have been dating him for 8 years! I waited for my engagement forever! He could have easily died in this process. (Just kidding) Our wedding was canceled because it was due 3 weeks before the disaster in Japan. My family didn’t want to travel and our government wouldn’t let people travel.
So we started discussing going home in June for abou 10days. We wanted to get outta here anyways!! My Mom has begun to plan everything for us. She is helpful, yet a little stressful as her usual self.
My mom has the wedding cake already planned- She has been makeing cakes for 35 years.
She has the placed picked out.
We will have the reception following the wedding in my house.
- I only have one week this entire year in my schedule to go to my hometown. That will be June 11th-June 19th.
- During this time all weekend weddings are taken except for a Sunday- June 12th.
- My husbands family can’t come on that weekend. Now I find out that maybe they can do a weekday wedding.
- My best friend since I was 10years old has planned a family trip on that entire week. She would have to do a 10hour drive to go to see me the Saturday before I leave.
- My brother is a minister as well as his wife, we were hoping they could do our wedding. But they will be having their first baby on May 16th and it will be a scheduled surgery. She said she can’t come because of recovery, the baby can’t come, and my brother can come. But I worry about him being away from them.
So thats my dilemma right now. What should I do girls??? Wedding or no wedding?
We legally married months ago but there wasn’t any joy in it. Nothing symbolic. I have been waiting so long to be a bride and to have a nice moment. It seems like it will be impossible to make this perfect.
Post # 3
If you are already legally married, why don’t you wait until an anniversary to do the big wedding thing? Maybe when things in your life calm down a bit.
Post # 4
Just been waiting so long already. I guess its hard to accept. Especially with everything already planned.
Post # 5
I understand the lack of joy over not having a “wedding”. I will be legally married around six months before our “wedding”. It will literally just be a signing of papers before he goes in to the military. Nothing exciting about that!
I know you want your perfect day and you could wait and hope it works out next year on your anniversary or your parent’s anniversary, etc. then everyone may be free to come. However you may plan it for next year and some other issues may arise that keep some folks away.
I guess you have to decide if you can live with waiting another year for your big day or can you live with your Boyfriend or Best Friend and SIL not being there. Hard choices. I don’t envy you!
By the way it looks like it will be a gorgeous wedding whenever you decide to have it!!!
Post # 6
It sounds like the Future In-Laws could travel and be there during the week? Could you do a Friday night? What about the your brother the minister and his family-if you have it toward the end of the week the baby will be about a month old-can they still not make it ? What about Friday, June 17?
Post # 7
I thought they could make it because the baby will be 1 month old but it seems like they don’t feel it would be good to travel with a 1 month old. However, I always thought a 1 month old would be strong enough to move around and I thought after having an emergency c-section that some women would be fine within weeks. I just don’t know about those things and thought it was possible, I guess.
Post # 8
You are so right!! If I put if off longer who knows what might come up. There isn’t a perfect time. But after 8 years of dating, 2 years discussing marriage, 6 months prep for engagment (waiting stage) and 8 months of engagement. I am ready to move forward.
i love him and I am so happy we signed papers but just that act doesn’t feel like a marriage. I would love to have a nice wedding with everyone but thats impossible. I just have to look forward to the future.
Post # 9
I traveled 1/2 way across the country with my 6 week old son to my Future In-Laws 2nd wedding. Infants that young don’t need a lot. They are sleeping a lot!!
Post # 10
@creativeplannertobee: soooo true.
however, speaking as someone who’s had 2 c-sections and a SIL who had one also, traveling isn’t ALWAYS that comfy after a c-section. It depends on the woman and her pain threshold. (I have an abnormally HIGH threshold, so it wouldn’t bother me a bit… my Fiance would probably be the one arguing against it.)
Personally, I’m partial to June 12th (my daughter’s b-day, hehehehehe), but I think you should go with the date available where the majority of the family can come.
good luck and I hope it all works out the best for you!!!!!
Post # 11
Oh.. Im sorry waiting is awful!!! I really have no advice.. Maybe try to do a weekday wedding.. But if June 12th is the day that most of the families can make it do it then. I wish you the best of luck, and Im sorry your plans were ruined the first time around.
Post # 12
So sorry 🙁 You have waited a long time! You deserve to have it how you want it & receive all the support you can get from your family/friends attendence.
Has there been a deposit made for that venue? (looks gorgeous btw) If so, can it be applied to another (later) date? If it were me, I’d (if possible) push the date back another month or two to a date where your best friend, brother’s family & hubby’s parents can all attend. I know that I would regret not having those people there, especially since you’re traveling all the way from Japan!! When else will they get to see you guys, you know? You have to make this visit count for as much as possible.
p.s. is that cake photo one your mom actually made? it’s stunning!