(Closed) Wedding or Wait

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If I were you (which obviously I’m not so take this with a grain of salt) I would elope and have my sons there, so make it a sort of family vacation. It may really help give your significant other the clarity he needs too, because he really want to travel and probably get back to the root of his life, which is you and the family you have created together.

Planning a wedding does not make anything easier, and I also wanted to elope but my Fiance wouldn’t hear of it without doing a reception, which I didn’t want to do.


Post # 4
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Men are crazy like that… Fiance proposed WAY before I expected him to, then wanted a 2 year engagement!

Men are great at saying “This is mine”, but something about the actual planning seems to freak them out!

Can you talk about changing what type of wedding you’re having? Maybe a morning or early afternoon wedding with a cake/punch reception for your 100 people minimum, or just having 20 of your nearest and dearest with a ritzy dinner?

We cut our guests from 150 to 45, then decided to do a morning wedding with a formal luncheon. Then we’re all going out dancing that night! So we didn’t have to hire a DJ and we only need 6 hours from our photographer.

It’s saving us a TON of money!

Post # 5
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Satyalove:  how about a nice destination wedding your sons can attend and everyone can pay their own way. 

Post # 7
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Satyalove:  Yes, it seems like you would both benefit from taking a step back here. Sometimes the actual act of having the wedding can make everything seem a little more scary, after all you are going to be legally and morally accountable for each other and each others needs from that point on in every sense of the word.

Getting married while somebody is in a midlife crisis is not going to help the relationship what so ever.

Maybe when this phase passes you can get back to why are both love with each other so much, and why making that official and eterna decisionl is such a great and logical idea.

Until then, take a breath and wait it out.



Post # 8
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Satyalove:  It sounds like your husband is mostly stressed about the wedding, as opposed to the marriage (am I reading that right?). If it’s the marriage he wants a “walkabout” from, then I would put off wedding plans and go into couples’ counseling. Sure, everyone needs time to themselves, but it’s not like he’s 22 and he needs to go discover who he is. He needs to figure out if the bigger midlife crisis would be to lose you and the life you’ve built together.

If you go ahead with wedding plans, could you possibly do a more casual backyard/pot luck/bbq kind of wedding, either at your home, or the home of a friend? That way, you wouldn’t have to pay exorbitant venue/catering fees and you could still have a slightly larger celebration. I also like the idea of a family vacation destination for the actual wedding, and maybe just a bigger party for when you return for the larger family.

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