Post # 1
Yesterday I filled out our marriage licence application… It was weird for me to fill it out and check the box ”Never married”… I will never be able to check that box again after the wedding…
Last night, I mailed out the invitations. Afterwards, Fiance and were just chilling on the couch. I was looking at him and all of a sudden, it hit me like a tone of bricks…
”This is the man I am going to be with for the rest of my life…”
”The invites are in the mail now, there is no going back…”
”Even at that, there is no going back because my dad put $1200 down on my dress…”
”My dress is paid, deposits are in, etc”
And I started feeling a full throttle anxiety attack. I felt heavy and dizzy and Fiance was wondering what was up… I told him I needed to go lie down…
I am not sure if he suspects why I had this panic attack… He propbably has an idea.
I am super prone to stress and easily affected by it. In fact, I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
These feelings went away after I calmed down and today I seem fine.
I made the decision to marry this man over a year ago and I intend to do so.
Anyone else have similiar feelings leading up to the wedding..?
Post # 3
@O.My.Heart: Are you nervous/anxious about the wedding in general, or about marrying HIM in particular? Please don’t think that just because deposits have been put down that you’re *stuck* I am positive your parents would want you to be happy, whether they put money down on your dress or not. The rest of your life is a long time to be miserable (if that’s the case).
I can’t say I’ve ever been nervous/anxious about marrying my Fiance. I am happy and excited to spend my life with him, but I have never panicked about it.
Post # 4
Oh yes, I had a few of these episodes & also smaller instances that would pop into my head like “am I going to be picking up his dirty laundry FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? AHHH!” But the key is they were short term, I knew in my heart I was making the right decision. Cold feet are normal, but if you start having major doubts or feel like you’re making a terrible mistake – that’s when you should worry. Sounds like right now you’re just having a little cold feet, totally normal <3
Post # 5
I haven’t had this happen, but I’m a high-anxiety person and I find that if I’m having a bad day (sleep deprived, too hungry, irritated, whatever), I overreact about things but then it’s over and I’m fine! I think as long as these feelings don’t last until your wedding, it’s fine! It has to be normal to have these things cross your mind, you’re getting married! Even if you 100% love your Fiance and everything is going to be perfect, it’s still a big deal. I mean I freak out and deliberate every time I have to buy a new phone! Deep breaths, it will be ok 🙂
Post # 6
@RunnerBride13: I have the same issue with anxiety. If I’m under a lot of stress, haven’t gotten enough sleep, haven’t eaten, etc. it’s a train wreck.
This sounds pretty normal to me.
Post # 7
Not getting married yet, but in almost exactly a month I am moving across the country to live with my SO and last night I had a full-blown panic attack about it so I know where you’re coming from. Ticket is bought, my apartment’s been rented to a new tenant, most of my furniture has been sold/spoken for, and I put in my notice at my job.
I want to live with him very much, and I’m pretty certain he’s the man I want to marry and spend my life with… but such a huge change is scary because there’s so much unknown in it. There’s all this risk and leaving of comfort zones – even if the new is positive.
I’m also a GAD sufferer. Just try and do what you can to ease stress and anxiety, think positively and maybe take a break and do something non-wedding related when attacks come. If you’re sure (and I know you are), then you will get through the wedding planning/life change anxiety and be just fine 🙂
Post # 8
I think everyone tends to have these thoughts that pop into our minds (wedding related or not at all) and they just make us think further bc we had them…and since you are someone who has GAD I’m sure you are familiar with things such as intrusive thoughts…so I think its one of those (I have an anxiety disorder as well, I hear you!). Getting married is a HUGE life decision! Since you get nervous from time to time I think its totally human of you…and honest!
It sounds more along the lines of the fact that you are getting married, that its actually happening right now, you’ve dreamt about this since you were a kid…its just kinda crazy that its all really around the corner after all this time. I’ve had times where I brought it up to my Fiance that “wow, this is actually happening..we’re getting married and buying a house..we are adults, its scary and exciting” and he’s like yup it is, but we’re doing it together…and he’s right.
Think about when you two are together and the anxiety isn’t at play…do you feel happy? Do you love being around him? Do you think that there is anyone out there that could be better for you? Can you see yourself loving anyone else? If the answers are yes, yes, no, and no I think you should be fine. If you still tend to feel this way as time goes along, why not go see a therapist? They can be of great help and make you see things you might not see yourself.
Good Luck and feel free to message me if you want…I’m very familiar with panic attacks/anxiety 🙂 Also, this site is great for all kinds of life transitions…you might want to check it out! http://conscious-transitions.com/blog/
Post # 9
I had one moment like this when my mother called me to say she had confirmed our date with the church. I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. I think it was more a “holy crap this is real” feeling, like up until then it was just a fantasy (the wedding).
Post # 10
I am the same about every decision. I never thought about hunger and fatigue affecting me in a such a way (I’ve never noticed a pattern before), but I was practically in starvation mode when this happened (It was 8pm, last time I had eaten was around 11 or noon).
Post # 11
@MissCalifornia: Thank you so much for this advice! Next time I feel overwhelmed by the wedding planning (which is often, lol), I will try to take a break from it and focus on positive things 🙂
@SoonToBeMrsD921: Wow, just wow. It’s like you know what is in my head.
Think about when you two are together and the anxiety isn’t at play…do you feel happy? Yes, mostly.
Do you love being around him? Yes, mostly (trying not to think about the bad times, like when he is in a cranky mood lol)
Do you think that there is anyone out there that could be better for you? Well that’s a tough one, I know that if him and I ended, I could find love again (like I have in past after a heart break). What I cannot answer, is if it would be better or not. TBH, my first love was the love of my life and he is deceased… A big part of me feels that it can never be reproduced on the same level. (Story in a nut shell there)
Can you see yourself loving anyone else? Aren’t we all capable of loving other people..? I beleive in soul mates, but I also believe that there are many on the earth that one could fall in love with. I also believe there are different kinds of love out there.
Sorry if these answers aren’t clear cut, lol. A lot of my thoughts and decisions are a mix of many things… And I wonder why I am so indecisive sometimes, LOL
Post # 12
@BoxerLady: Thank you for saying I’m not stuck (well not until I say I do!).
Honestly, I think both. I’ve had doubts about us in the past before, but I have never been able to let him go. There has always been something that’s made me stay and want to be with him. We even broke up for 5 days once and it was aweful! I felt so dumb for taking him for granted after that.
Post # 13
I felt the same way when we filled out our marriage license application. I froze and he couldn’t stop shaking. Everytime I look at it I freak out. It’s a fantastically weird, but he panics about it a lot more than I do LOL I had to calm him down last night. He woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air. After he calmed down I asked what happened and he said he was dreaming about the wedding. He was the one in the family that no one ever thought would get married. It’s funny how life changes you. I love him like no other, but the thought of spending forever together gets me every time.
Post # 14
@Solis2013: I’m not alone! Thank you lol
Post # 15
I have GAD as well. It sucks.
I didn’t have an anxiety attack about being married to my husband. There was no concern there. But I did have anxiety attacks about the wedding. About being in front of all of those people talking and such. I had a mild anxiety attack after my Maid/Matron of Honor walked down the aisle and I was waiting for my que. Was watching everything from the stained glass door and was able to see through a small part of the glass. When I saw my fiance look at me all the nerves went away. I walked down the aisle without any fear or panic at all, even glanced back when I got up to the alter because I’d been so focused on being up next to my fiance that I didn’t notice if anyone was there at all.
You should feel comfortable in talking with your Fiance about this. He should understand. My fiance was nervous from time to time during the engagement. It’s normal. You’re making a HUGE commitment and it’s a big step. There is nothing to be concerned about. Heck during the reception as soon as we signed the papers both of us laughed and said “No turning back now”. We said that quite a bit during the engagement as well.
Post # 16
@O.My.Heart: Hi there again 🙂
I’m obviously no expert or therapist when it comes to this stuff, but I really feel like over our engagement, Fiance and I have learned A LOT about one another and our relationship (and we have been together for nearly a decade).
Your #1 & 2 answers sound pretty right on (believe me…when mine is angry about sports I definitely want to be away from him lol)
Your answer to #3 broke my heart 🙁 I can’t imagine what you went thru, I’m so sorry ::Hugs!!!::
#4) We are definitely all capable of loving someone else and I totally agree with you on different kinds of love. However for me, as long as Fiance is in this world, treating me well, loving me, and respecting me and our relationship…I just can’t see myself loving anyone else while he is here..we have definitely had our rough times and once I almost walked away, but something always told me not to. I can’t really explain it, but this guy has just got my heart.
Indecisiveness is me to a T lol it takes me forever to make a decision..Like I said though, message me if you want 🙂