- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I recently heard that our close friends ended their relationship. The guy is a close friend and former roommate of my FI; he’s playing music at the wedding and would be a groomsman if we didn’t want to use his talent! We aren’t as close to his now-ex-girlfriend, but we all went to the same school and hang out in a large group about twice a month. She’s nice and we get along. I invited her to a shower. The break-up is amicable, from what I’ve heard, and they even left the door open for them to get back together someday.
My question is how to deal with this as far as the guest list and plus-ones. Pre-breakup, I was going to send an invite only to the guy, with the girlfriend’s name on it as a guest. Post-breakup, my first impulse is to give each of them separate invitations without plus-ones. Not inviting her is not an option because of the shower invite, plus it would be mean. I don’t want to give them plus-ones because it might have potential for drama–seeing an ex with a date 3 months after a breakup would suck. Also, we’re limited on numbers by the size of the venue, so I don’t want to add lots of extras we don’t care about. The guest count is already set at this point, and it’s hard to make additions now. I don’t imagine either would probably want to bring a date anyway. Surely they understand the awkwardness, and as far as I know they don’t have anyone else lined up now. My FMIL’s last minute additions are already straining the invitation count, so the extra invite, while not a hardship, is something we need to count carefully and be sure about. There will be others at the wedding without dates, whether by choice or because we didn’t invite them with a plus-one.
Sound like a good plan? Is it ok to say no plus-ones here?