- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I’m a regular poster on here, but I needed a little bit of a disguise for this post. No one involved in what I am about to write is on here, but I’m just being safe!
From the start our wedding party was a complicated issue! Fiance and I both have big families with many siblings. I have no sisters, so I had only friends to choose from…my best friend is my ex and his girlfriend of a year doesn’t like us hanging out…bla bla bla. I also don’t get along with FI’s family. Its getting better, but I really have to “manage” how I am around them and our relationship. I knew having his brother in the wedding party would be a problem for me -I wouldn’t be able to be myself out of fear he’d tell his mommy on me! Seriously, the guy is a HUGE gossip. I once wore a pencil skirt and fish net stockings (very fine knit that would easily be apropriate and the skirt was to my knees), but some how mommy knew I wore fishnets and looked like a whore (no one else that night thought I looked anything but classic). Anyway…
So, we picked our wedding party. 8 friends (including his brother). 2 of whom are couples. Drama, drama, drama… 1 couple backed out due to a pregnancy. I get a call from the second couple a week later telling us they wouldn’t be in our wedding party because they are getting a divorce. He had been cheating for MONTHS and she was done with things.
At the time this was a huge blow. I think Fiance and I knew they were FAR from the perfect couple for various reasons, BUT they were our bestfriends and we had so much in common.
After MUCH deliberating we decided to downsize our wedding party to 4 people, eliminating his brother, and the wife of the newly divorced couple. Although I wasn’t totally on board with having an adulterer at the wedding I understood the circumstances (long story but the marriage was over YEARS ago…they’ve not lived together in 2 years). He should have told her he’d checked out before sleeping around, but he didn’t. I am also not so convinced she’s innocent.
So, fast forward 6 months and I am freaking out. I really don’t feel like I can trust this guy! It could be irrational, or because he betrayed a friend of mine. I worry he’s going to be hitting on all my single friends at the wedding (possibly irrational). Bottom line, I’m not sure we’ll be friends in a few years. I can’t see him with someone else I like and I know he has all these plans of quitting his job and traveling around the world.
I briefly mentioned this to Fiance, he agrees that it might have been a foolish decision to pick this friend over his brother, but we’re well into the wedding and the suits have been bought. I know its never too late, but how would we EVER back out on this? Plus, its not like he’s done anything wrong.