(Closed) Wedding party dilemma/drama, sorry its lengthy! Please help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
46375 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Repeat after me “I am an adult and I can have the wedding I want”.

You do not have to ask her or anyone else to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if you do not truly want them.

It does not matter that the groom has more attendants than the bride or vice versa.

Rather than evade or dance around the issue, it would be so much easier if you just tell her that you are only having 2 attendants, and that you have already chosen them.

Post # 4
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It is your wedding and you should pick who you want in your bridal party. Doesn’t matter what others say. PLUS yours isn’t a traditional type anyway so I say go with the desire of your heart!

I’m having a very small wedding myself. so I can totally relate.

CONGRATS and don’t let anyone stress you out. I’ve seen many small weddings turn big because of the guest list. It’s tough saying NO but it’s necessary to keep the wedding intimate and meaningful. 😀 

Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@bearinger:  i personally think the people that should be in your wedding are people who you are close enough to to be honest with no matter what. the wedding party should also be made up of people that are going to be there to celebrate your happy times and help you through your difficult times throughout the rest of your life. if your non bridesmaid friend is that person you should ask her to be a part of your wedding party. if not there is no rule that says you have to have equal attendants as your groom. it is my opinion that anyone accepting the responsibility of being a part of the wedding party should accept financial responsibilty for themselves, as even the smallest weddinds are very expensive. plus this day is about you and your fiancee celebrating your love and the begining of your lives together.

Post # 6
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just wondering if the numbers are uneven, is there a reason you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid? I get it wasn’t your original plan but I would weigh out hurting her vs standing your ground when it wouldn’t take anything away from you at all. You are right that she’s assuming too much but she may feel closer to you then you to her. I guess you have to decide if you want to be right or want to be her friend! I know this isn’t what the other bees think but I guess I think if it’s going to hurt her and your close enough to ask her to go dress shopping then eh ask her? That’s just me.

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