Post # 1
Okay so I’ve been wanting to get my wedding party together and there have been some problems. Half of his groomsmen are still in the miliarty and wont be able to make it to the get together which is fine. Everyone else is on board but one of his friends. He wont come unless he can bring his gf, neither of us like her so we said no. Im not a fan of his friend in the first place, but now he is saying he wont be a groomsmen until we invite his gf to the wedding. What should I do?
Post # 2
missmac1028: you should invite the gf.
Whether or not you like her, he’s an adult in a committed relationship (I’m assuming this isn’t just a fling or a week-old romance) and you don’t have the right to dictate who he does and doesn’t bring. It would be an insult to him and his SO if you exclude her and frankly, I would be re-evaluating my friendship with you/your Fiance if I were told I had to leave my SO at home while I was in your wedding
Post # 3
Invote gf to the wedding or to a pre-wedding get-together for the bridal party?
She probably kinda has to be invited to the wedding, if they’re in an established relationship.
She does not need to be invited to a pre-wedding bridal party get-together.
Post # 4
If the get-together is just for the bridal party, I think you should let the groom explain it, to his friend. I think it would be awkward to have her there. Then you can re-evaluate the friend, as a member of the bridal party, based on his response. I do think you have to invite his Girlfriend to the wedding, though. You won’t even know she’s there, in the crowd.
Post # 5
Invite his gf to the wedding. He’s a grown up. He has chosen a gf. If you dislike her that much, don’t invite him. If he’s important enough to be a groomsman, he’s important enough to put up with his gf for the 8 minutes you’ll see her during the wedding. I cannot reiterate how rude it is to ask someone to be in the wedding party, but then tell them their partner isn’t invited. Honestly, him even allowing you to fix this by inviting her is gracious. Not only would I have said couldn’t be in the wedding party, I would decline the invitation to the wedding.
Post # 6
You should invite her to the wedding if you want him as a groomsman. She need not be included in pre-wedding bridal party exclusive get-togethers.
While I do stand by traditional etiquette that states you must only include married partners, live-in life partners, or engaged couples, as a host you must be prepared to graciously accept any declines that may be because you didn’t include a girlfriend. In the case of the bridal party, if having them there is important then you should extend an invite to their SO regardless of your personal feelings towards that individual.
Personally, I love my bridal party to pieces and want them to enjoy themselves so they all of their bfs/gfs are invited because I respect my friends’ choices (This doesn’t always mean I agree with them).
Post # 7
You all make a very good point, and normally I wouldn’t think twice about agreeing I just worry and time my fiance spends time with his them he comes home angry because all she does is start fits and break-up with his friend every other week it seemss like. I would like to give her the benifit of the doubt and think she wouldn’t cause a distrubince. I wish she and I would get along like I do with his other friends gfs. Think I should gie it a second chance and she if shes change since the last time we hung out??
Post # 8
You don’t have to like her. You don’t have to give her another chance. You don’t have to hang out at all. You just have to invite her to the wedding. She will just quietly bitch about how your (then) husband is monopolizing her bf, so sit her next to a relative you find obnoxious, and forget she’s there.
Post # 9
I do not think that you have to invite her to the pre-wedding events, however, if they are in an established relationship then he should be allowed to bring her as his plus one. I think it would be a little rude to dictate who he is and isn’t allowed to bring. Imagine if you weren’t allowed at events your husband was invited to because someone didn’t like you… But I agree with you about her not attending wedding party gatherings as long as everyone else doesn’t bring other people either