Wedding Party Problems

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 17
48 posts

thefurturemrs2018 :  Sadly my dear I’d bet their logic is “Hey, I got a free car out of him, why not a free vacation? He’ll never say anything or stand up for himself, so I can just show up.” 

Unless your Fiance feels no resentment or strain from his extreme generosity, it sounds like you both need to work on assertiveness and openly expressing your needs. It might seem scary or unpleasant, but this is really a great chance to practice! Good luck. 

Post # 18
705 posts
Busy bee

Its not so much about the cost as it is about being your honeymoon! 

Be straightforward,  remind them its your honeymoon,  and that they are invited to come spend the last day and night with you both if that’s what you and your Fiance want to do. 

In situations such as these,  theres no hinting in an effort to get your point across – its your honeymoon!

Post # 19
394 posts
Helper bee

Well I admit I don’t charge to be a wedding planner but this is what I have done.  Besides actually getting dirty and making the cake, flowers, jewelry, researching the deals on wedding dresses, alterations, suits, ties, venues I also am the “bad guy”.  I will go tell the wedding party to cool it, its not their day and lay down the law. I even contacted tactfully amother of th groom since the son has no “gumption” to ask his mom it is traditional that the grooms family host the rehearsal dinner are you doing it – good or bad.    So if you can find someone to act as your wedding planner and be your buffer, be your bad guy that can help.    I usually have this letter which i have the approval of the bride and groom



I know that bride and groom are thrilled you have agreed to be part of the wedding party.  They hope you feel honoured as you have been asked because you mean a lot to them and have played a significant role in the past and there will always be room for you in the future.  


My name is ___ and I am the Wedding Director.  it is  my job to keep things run smooothly so you can all enjoy this day.   Some of you may or may not have been part of a wedding party but there are a few things that might help.


First, you  are treasured and have been picked specifically to be part of the celebrated wedding party.    Please take this invite as a special honor because it is  and the Bride and Groom are over the moon you accepted.


Second, they want you to have a good time since you have been part of so many in the past.  There are a few details you need to know.   The groomsmen will need to rent for $100 an outfit already pciked for you at such and such tailors.  The bride and groom figure spending 100 for an outfit in contrast to  $600 for a complete outfit that may or may not be your taste is probably more palatable.  

Third  you are also required or expected to help with such and such (make no mention of hosting parties though or batchelor events etc – that is up to them and should not be forced).



Post # 20
571 posts
Busy bee

hmmm, so they’re groomsmen but don’t want to pay for the suit rental? was that made clear up front? If they don’t want to pay for a suit, then I suppose they don’t want to be a groomsman, because them’s the rules! Also, if they dont want to wear a suit, WTH were they planning on wearing?

That hotel rate is very reasonable. If they all want to split a room, so be it.

honeymoon? yeah no. A simple, sorry! IDKW we were thinking. We’ve decided to spend our honeymoon on our own. I’m sure you understand.

Fiance needs to tell dudes step up or step out. Weddings bring out interesting character developments.

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