Post # 1
Choosing a wedding party is seriously stressing me out. My Fiance has a close childhood friend as his best man and he’s happy with that. I have moved a lot in my life and do not have a “maid of honor” type person. I don’t have sisters or cousins. I definitely don’t want to do mother or aunt or older female relative. I have friends, but none that I feel comfortable putting up there by themself as the “honor” person. I could do 3 or 4 bridesmaids (& men) without a maid of honor, but then Fiance has to ask a few other friends who are out of state and I know deep down he’s happy with the 1. But I don’t have a 1 and it’s making me feel pretty awful. I’m also not happy with having 3 on my side and 1 on his…we’re not against uneven numbers, but I don’t want to go that uneven. I’ve had close friends in my life but we have always drifted apart over time and distance and this is really bumming me out right now. I feel like I have no friends and it sucks. Two of the friends I thought I would ask just got married and didn’t have me in their bridal party so it feels extra awful to say, hey youre the two closest friends I have even though I wasn’t one of your six closest friends. Even though it’s maybe petty, it feels awkward for me to ask them now – like, they’re going to be in all my professional photos as my only bridesmaids/men and I’m not in any of theirs? It feels yucky. I’m just confused and stressed and I don’t know what to do or who to ask. I’ve floated the idea of no bridal party and while Fiance entertains it, I know deep down he wants his buddy up there with him. But I am really stressed and feeling awful about my lack of close friends right now. And it feels like whatever we decide, one of us is going to be unhappy with the choice. On top of this, I think I need bridesmaid help with the dress I chose, so that isn’t helping these feelings at all. Was anyone in a similar situation and if so, what did you do? Thanks!
Post # 2
so you have 3 or 4 options?
and are uncomfortable with a 3 or 4 to 1 spilt?
and dont want to ask 2 because they didnt involve you?
seems you have your answer… the other 1 or 2 are your bridesmaid/man
Post # 3
How about no wedding party, but using the Best Man in another way? He still signs the register and gives a speech, but he isn’t in a tux and standing up the front during the ceremony.
Post # 4
If you have 3 or 4 options and some are men could the men stand on your FI’s side? They don’t have to get ready with him or anything it could be purely for the ceremony for the look of it. Or what PPs have suggested. Or just do 3 to 1 and it’s fine, my sister had 2 BMs and 4 Groomsmen. Honestly whatever you do will be fine. Does your Fiance have a brother he might add to his side?
Post # 5
I have had a severly hard time picking too. I have decided on my mom’s BFF’s daughter. She is the closest thing I have to a sister (I have sisters but long story short…they aren’t invited) and I know she will do great at the important things, like keeping me calm and getting ready with me.
My fiancée’s cousin and his bride did not have bridal parties. Despite the bride having 4 bffs, whose wedding parties she had been in. They opted for their respective grandfathers to sign their wedding certificate and I thought it was quite sweet and an awesome idea! That is another reason why I am asking who I am asking. My fiancée is asking her sister to stand up with her so I figured, I will ask my “sister”. Keep the cousin tradition of each picking a family member going. 🙂
Another suggestion if you don’t want to pick the heads of your families to sign the certificate with you is having a couple whose marriage you respect and admire be the ones to sign your marriage certificate. I thought about that one pretty hard. We do have a couple whose marriage we really admire and if my fiancée didn’t want her sister so bad I would have jumped on that.
I hope these help in your brain storming of alternatives. 🙂
Post # 6
i also had such a hard time. if i could go back i would just have uneven numbers or no bridal party at all! we have 4.
Post # 7
I understand how you are feeling like this, i was in the exact same position. No sisters and same thing in the friend situation, no one ive kept super close throughout my life and i had to do inward reflecting on why. I have 4 bridesmaids, one is my cousin, two good friends, and one is FI’s cousin lol. Fiance on the other hand has 5. Im ok with the uneven number because im also doing two flower girls.
Dont stress. Do your 2 or three friends if you wish..see if he can add another or just do an uneven number.