(Closed) Wedding party table dilemma

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s inconsiderate, bordering on rude, to split up the Bridal Party members and their dates. IMO it would be better to put some of the Bridal Party members with their dates at another table. Or you could do what many couples do, and have a sweetheart table, which takes the head table out of the equation.

Post # 4
7305 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Yes, I think it’s rude to seat the wedding party members apart from their partners/dates. If you feel like the bride and groom must sit up front for all to see, then why not do a sweetheart table for just the two of you? Then you can seat the wedding party members at seperate tables where they can sit with their partners.

Post # 5
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it’s way better to split the wedding party than to split the dates.

how about groomsmen and dates on one table, bridesmaids and dates in another?

Post # 6
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate hate hate head tables.  Probably because I had to sit without my DH a few times.  It’s the worst.  I am all about a sweetheart table.

My BMs who were family, sat with my family.  BMs who were friends were sat with their circle of friends.

Post # 7
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe do a sweetheart table but have the bridal party sat closer to you guys than other guests? I wouldn’t want to be split apart from my spouse during a wedding (especially considering they are probably split up for most of the day anyway). 

Post # 8
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know it’s tradition for the Bridal Party to all sit at a head table, but as someone who’s been the date of a Groomsmen it kinda sucks, especially if the Bridal Party takes off after the wedding to take pictures and you don’t know anyone else.  It’s just a lot of awkward time alone.

We did a modified sweetheart.  We had only me, H, my Maid/Matron of Honor, and his Bridesmaid or Best Man sit at a “head” table.  The rest of the Bridal Party sat at 2 tables next to us with their SOs.  The Bridesmaid or Best Man did have to be separated from his Girlfriend for a while, but it’s what we thought worked best.  Once dinner was done, there was an extra seat by his Girlfriend so he could join her for the rest of the reception.

You could also talk to your Bridal Party and get their opinion.  If their dates know other guests (and can sit with them) and your Bridal Party wants to sit at a head table, it might work out ok.


ETA:  I should also add that we invited everyone’s dates in the limo with us after the ceremony while we took pictures.  We did are best to limit the number of time our Bridal Party was away from their dates. 


Post # 9
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I didnt want to deal with this exact issue, so we went with a sweetheart table, just hubby and me. We had our wedding party sit with their spouses/SO and with people they know. So my wedding party was split up at different tables, but the idea was that I wanted them to enjoy themselves during the reception and sit with their friends and families.

I don’t think its rude, but I do think it is a little inconsiderate to split up their dates…i have been in that situation before where I went to a wedding where my ex-bf was a Groomsmen, he sat at the head table, and I had to find my own table (they didnt do escort cards/assigned seating) and the one available table was practically empty, and because I didn’t know anyone at the wedding (other then the bride and groom) it was really lonely throughout the evening, I will say that was not an enjoyable experience. We left the wedding early because my ex could see that I was bored.

Post # 10
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’ve actually never been to a wedding where the bridal party’s date sat at the head table – personally, (but i’m super type-a), that would bother me because of the lack of cohesion. we’re doing the head table with bride, grooms, bridesmaids and groomsmen, and their dates will be at the tables closest to the head table.

i went to my FBIL’s wedding last year where Fiance was a groomsmen, and  yes it sucked being separated from him but it was only for an hour or so while we ate and did toasts. i was at a table with people i knew so i really didn’t mind so much.

Post # 11
4434 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@candy08:  In my area it’s pretty standard that the head table only includes the Bride, Groom and party.


But I had a small bridal party so we had bride, groom, bridal party and their dates sit at a large rectangular table in the center of the room surrounded by our guests at round tables.


It was a hit with our guests, everyone said they felt included instead of having the head table way at the front of the room.

Post # 12
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

We sat the bridal party with their dates at tables where we thought they fit best.  So we didn’t have tables for the bridal party specifically.  They sat with their groups of friends or family as it were.  We sat at a regular round table  with our best man and maid of honor, their respective dates and our siblings and their dates.  10 people total.

Post # 13
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’ve also never been to a wedding where the bridal party didn’t sit at the head table without their dates. I just thought it was normal and that the Wedding Party realize they will have to sit apart from their dates at supper. It’s not the whole time, just during supper…
I guess it seemed “normal” to me, so I never even considered it. We don’t know if we’ll have room for our wedding party, let alone their dates…
Their dates would throw off the look, too. lol
I’m just glad none of them expect any different. haha 

Post # 14
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a small table with us, my Maid/Matron of Honor and her boyfriend, our Bridesmaid or Best Man and his girlfriend, the rest of the bridal party was split up between different tables. You could also do a sweetheart table and not worry about the Bridal Party at all.

Post # 15
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@candy08:  Why don’t you ask your bridal party and see how the feel? I had a head table with the Bridal Party away from their SO’s, but we talked about it first and they were all ok with it. This was the first time many of them had been be part of a bridal party so they loved the attention of stitting at the front lol. Most of the SO’s were friends anyways so they had a blast sitting together (ie the GF’s of all of the groomsmen sat together).

Some will tell you it’s rude, others will tell you it is ok…but what really matters is how your specific bridal party feels about it.

Good luck!

Post # 16
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am too anti-head table.   Sitting on display having everyone watch you is just plain weird in my opinion.    

I am doing three large rounds in a sparkly fabric that is different than the rest of the linens to signify the head table.    this way everyone sits with their dates, and we have head tables – plural.  

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