Post # 17
@candy08: Not rude at all. Couples are still 2 individuals, and a wedding party only head table is very traditional.
Eta: sitting separate only is while they eat. They aren’t obligated to remain in their seats the whole evening. If they are so co-dependent on their SO that an hour away is too much to bare, then I have to wonder how they managed all those years without their SO.
Post # 18
Thanks for all the advice!
It sounds like some of you think it is rude and some of you think it is normal. I agree Pink Asawa I think I should ask the bridal party. Problem is I know out of all 18 ppl sitting at the table, only 2 may a have a problem. Like I said, if I make an exception for those 2, I would have to do it for everyone. Everyone else will def enjoy the attention of sitting up front. I will speak with them all though. Maybe they wont mind after all. But if they do mind, I want to be respectful of their feelings.
Thanks for the advice!
Post # 19
This. I haaaaaaaated being seated away from my Fiance.
We’re doing a sweetheart table, a bridesmaids/+1s, and a groomsmen/+1s table. Lovely.
Post # 20
@candy08: i had the same exact deliema, i did exactly what you suggest, i split up the Bridal Party from their dates, and NO one had a problem. If you think about it, they are only sitting to eat, the rest of the time everyone is dancing or mingling. personally to me, sweet heart tables are awkward… do what makes you happy its your day!
Post # 21
…I didn’t even know sweetheart tables existed until just now. That’s brilliant! This totally fixes our seating problems. Squeeeee!
And back to the OP…I’m not going to split pairs up. I think dinner is made better with conversation, and it’s easier for a lot of people to start talking when their SO is there. Or at least it is with my friends.
Post # 22
We have this problem too. We didn’t like the idea of splitting up couples, and a kings table isn’t possible at our venue. I know some people are keen on sweetheart tables but the few times I’ve seen this, it just seemed really, really awkward. It’s like being on a date with Fiance, but with the entire ballroom staring at us. I also think it’s weird to invite all our friends and family to celebrate with us, only to isolate ourselves away from everyone.
I’ve been to several weddings where the bride and groom sat with their parents at the head table, and the Bridal Party were seated with their SOs and friends. The Bridal Party really appreciated it and everyone had a blast. I asked our parents how they felt if we did this, and they were actually quite honoured. My mother said this is actually the traditional way of seating the head table in Asian weddings too. Both sets of parents get along so I think we’ll probably sit with mum and dad!
Post # 23
I was worried about this for the first wedding that I attended with my then-BF/now-FI, since he was a Groomsmen and he was the only person at the wedding who I knew. I was relieved that the couple did a sweetheart table and seated their Bridal Party with their friends and dates. It’s not just that we would have been eating dinner separately- my Fiance was off early to do photos and stuff before the wedding, then the wedding, then photos during cocktail hour. Had he been seated at a head table wiithout me, I would have been separated from him from well before the wedding until the dancing started, with the exception of a little while during cocktails. Luckily for me, he has wonderful friends who were attending the wedding who spent time with me and made me feel welcome. Anyhow, whatever choice you make will be fine. The SOs of Bridal Party members can manage to eat dinner and be social if the Bridal Party is at the head table without SOs. I’m hoping to do a sweetheart table and seat the Bridal Party with their friends/families. We’ll be up and visiting with various tables during dinner anyway.
Post # 24
@candy08: When my husband was best man, I had no problem sitting apart from him even though I didn’t really know anyone at the wedding. And I’m even shy! But come on, it was like an hour or two of my life. We love the bride and groom dearly and I would not dream of causing them stress on their special day when all it would take from me to avoid the drama is a couple hours of sucking it up and being pleasant to the strangers around me. I sat with their officiant and his wife, the wife/gf of another groomsman, and I don’t even know who else. We made small talk and gushed about the happy couple until after dinner when everyone (bridal party included) started dancing and mingling. It was a great time.
Post # 25
So I spoke with my wedding party last night. Surprisingly no one had a problem sitting at the head table without their spouse. Their spouses expected it and said it is only for a bit so they are ok with it. My wedding party is excited to sit at the head table!
Thanks for the great advice! I guess i worried for nothing!
Post # 26
I think it’s fine for the wedding party to sit at the head table. When I agree to be a wedding party, I know it means that I’m going to spend most of the day away from Fi. I think people are more then capable of surviving one dinner without their spouse. I think doing the head table, then a table of spouses is fine.
I am having a sweetheart table, that being said if I did a head table I expect my bridal party to sit there.
Post # 27
i went to a wedding where my BF of the time was in the bridal party and i had to sit at a separate table. i only knew the bride a little bit. it was awkward and i didn’t like it.
for my wedding, we are doing a sweetheart table. the bridal party will sit togther with their dates at how ever many tables it takes to fill.
Post # 28
Someone started the head table idea of bridal party only generations ago and for some it MUST be done this way. I had head tables like that for my weddings in 1980 and 1996. If I had it to do over again I wouldn’t have separated couples like that. It had “always” been done that way and that is how you were “supposed” to do it and people didn’t ask questions or think outside the box.
My biggest pet peeve is when people say, “Oh for crying out loud, it is just for dinner!” I’m sorry, but no, it’s not. The wedding party members are tied up basically ALL day, getting ready, doing photos, wedding ceremony, etc. The couples have been split up for the entire day already when dinner rolls around. If I could change my weddings I would have certainly afforded our bridal parties the courtesy of sitting with their partners as a gesture of gratitude for all they had done. The head table is really nothing more than a photo op.
My married daughter’s went with Sweetheart tables so they wouldn’t have to separate couples and I thought it was a very thoughtful gesture for those who had given their entire day for them.
Post # 29
I really hate head tables. I was in a wedding once that had a head table and I was really disappointed that I couldn’t sit with my Fiance. Instead, he was stuck at an awkward table with everyone’s dates. I’ve also been in a wedding that did a sweetheart table and then put their groomsmen and dates at one table and their bridesmaids and dates at another table. This was nice.