(Closed) Wedding photo disappointment – advice pls!

posted 10 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 16
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i think a lot of brides feel this way when they get their photos back.  i most certainly did – for slightly different “missing photos” than guest shots, but i still felt some disappointment nonetheless that within my 1000 + shots, i didn’t more fun ones for example of me and my BMs (none on the beach for example and my wedding was on the beach!).  Anyway, it took me some time and the more i looked at the photos, the more i kept noticing all the amazing ones i DO have. with all those photos being looked at once, you may not notice some of the real candid’s until later.  i still find some now that i am like “wow, thats hilarious” or “i forgot about that”.  And i didn’t notice them on the first day i saw the thumbnails online because they just blended in with all the others. also, it took me getting photos back from all my guests and i ultimately got the majority of the details i felt i was missing, just having those one or two pics extra from the guests made me feel a lot better.

it is weird that you dont have any cocktail photos, but at the end of the day, if you can get a couple from your guests, they will be cherished momentos.  even if not professional, when you look back at them in years, you will have the memories in pictures.  so hopefully some of your guests took a couple of photos.

and i just can’t emphasize enough that over time, you will care less and the disappointment will fade and you will be much happier with your photos, it just takes time. i had brides tell me the same thing when i got my photos back as i wrote on here about being disappointed, and now i finally believe them!.

Post # 17
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

I remember the first time I saw some of my wedding pictures, I was sad that some of them didn’t make it. Especially around my photobooth area etc. But I had given my photographer a list of the details I took time to do and I wanted her to take pictures of those. I didn’t get pictures of the cocktail hour as such but I am not too worried. It’s not like they are going to make it into my album ๐Ÿ™‚ But I do agree that the more I look at the pictures, the more I love them. I do wish I had more time to take individual pictures with  my siblings but it’s okay.

Post # 18
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

As a photographer myself, the best advice to any bride is that things will be missed.

At every single wedding, yes, if you look hard enough, things will be missed.

Someone posted they had 2500 photos and still thought things were missed.

At my own wedding, if I looked more carefully, I’m sure things were missed.

Sometimes, a bride will complain there are not enough guest photos. Other times, she will say that there are not enough detail shots and TOO many guest photos, for example.

Many photographers are shooting what they know you will want in a year, five years, or ten years. I won’t be framing a photo of Aunt Milly and my friend from kindergarten trying to eat a mini quiche while holding beer bottles. I will be framing an amazing shot of me and my husband.

Those sometimes-requested table shots? My brides tell me they never do anything with them.

I’m of the opinion that, if the guests are in the background of some photos, are in a few dancing shots, the receiving line, etc, then that’s enough for most brides.

We focus on the family and bridal party because they are the most important to the bride and groom. They’re the *most* likely to still be in the bride’s life in 5-10 years, whereas your college roommate moved out of state and you don’t talk to her anymore, and your boss in photo #1511 isn’t your boss anymore, it did not end well. ๐Ÿ™‚

Obviously, misses of BIG BIG things are bad. Bride and groom portraits, the kiss shot, ceremony shots, first dance, a portrait of each one of you, and family shots are the things that keep me up at night constantly worried, things that keep me on my toes.

But a shot of guests eating and drinking is not something people want.

To answer your question: do most photographers completely ignore wedding guests?

My answer would be: Guests do not play a huge role in wedding photography unless directly involved with the bride and groom (a kiss, a hug) or doing something photographically amazing that makes me want to capture it (the worm on the dance floor). Other than that, they are often atmosphere and background to images of the couple.

 

Post # 19
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@kwynn: i noticed that too in my wedding photos. i had a small wedding with 17 people, so i had no worries about getting pics of everyone in attendance.  but i did notice that in almost ALL the reception photos – dancing, drinking – i was in most of them as well!  i almost feel like i have too many photos of myself! i understood though that my photog was likely doing that for my own sake.  and i did get a few candids of the guests without me, which i will likely put in an album.   my only fear is that when showing people my pictures is that i come off “narcissitic” because every photo has me in it!  but then i remember i was the bride AND i clearly was not the one taking those photos, so its not like i intended to be in so many of them, lol.

View original reply
@Jaxx317:  i just thought of a potential reason why your photogs didn’t get cocktail hour – my photog told me at dinner she won’t take pics of people eating, she said they don’t make for nice photos. i said i was fine, plus i wanted her to sit down and enjpy her meal too!  so maybe your photogs didn’t focus on cocktail hour because people would be just standing around eating and drinking and there was bride and groom present?

Post # 21
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I called my photographer and mentioned the “missing shots”, and she actually had taken them, but wasn’t as pleased with the quality, so she didn’t include them.  She immediately sent them to me and I was happy with them.  It’s worth mentioning! 

 

 

Post # 22
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

View original reply
@kwynn: Very Well said! +1 to all of it!

If I had to add something, it’s that there are several good reasons why as the bride you may not have any cocktail hour photos.

1.) Usually B&G, family formal and/or bridal party shots are taken during the cocktail hour. Photographers work as a team, and do not split up to have one photograph a completely different event of the day, unless perhaps a special request was made for cocktail hour photos. Of course you’d have to be prepared to then receive fewer B&G photos.

2.) If you didnt use the cocktail hour for these photos, the cocktail hour is used by photographers to capture the reception details and set up for the reception.

3.) Especially if your photographer uses off-camera lighting, it takes time to set up portable lighting, AND take detail photos of the hall before all the guests are allowed in and mess everything up. This is typically done during the cocktail hour, or whatever little is left of it when you get back from family photo time.

View original reply
@dynamic_duo: With regard to the OP and you having “too many pictures of you,” and not enough of the other guests, I find that mindset to be the exception, not the rule. I have created a lot of wedding albums, and while I try to design using awesome candid photos I took of guests, they almost ALWAYS get taken out and replaced with ANOTHER shot of the bride and/or groom within the first round of changes. This just usually isn’t a priority for most brides, so to all other bees, be sure to tell your photogs if it is a priority to you. I have my brides make a list of all the important people they would like to receive special photographic attention at a wedding, and I’ve never had anyone on that list except immediate family, bridesmaids and groomsmen. Bear in mind that if you tell your photographer to prioritize guests more, you WILL receive fewer shots of yourselves… we only deliver XXX number of images either way, so it’s just math that that will happen, but a good observation for this thread.

Post # 23
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@kwynn: Many photographers are shooting what they know you will want in a year, five years, or ten years. I won’t be framing a photo of Aunt Milly and my friend from kindergarten trying to eat a mini quiche while holding beer bottles. I will be framing an amazing shot of me and my husband.

::Clapping:: That was an awesome, enlightning and reasonable theory.  Thank you for putting this stuff into perspective.

Post # 25
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One of my big regrets was that we didn’t get a lot of candids of guest (1 photo per table) and very few of aunts/uncles and my maternal grandparents.  It was my own fault for not making sure and assuming it would be done, but still disappointing.   I did ask my photographer and he found a few of my grandparents, so that was good.

Check your guests photos… I found a few great ones of those people that way.

At the end of the day, my wedding was still captured the way it was.   Focus on the great shots you do have.   Did you get it videotaped?  My videographer definitely caught those who didn’t make it to my photo album.

Post # 26
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 1998

Advice for future brides is to have a shot list that is worked up with your photographer.  This lets them know what your top priorities are for your photos.  The shot list should cover you, your groom, the bridal party, ceremony, reception, getting ready shots etc…   Ask you photographer if they have a general shot list and I am sure they would be happy to provide you with one.

Post # 27
Member
36 posts
Newbee

as a photographer – in my opinion that’s unexcusable to give 1300 photos and have a couple feel like those kind of items were missed or under attended – especially with 3 photographers in essentially the same location? That’s a little bizarre…yes, you can always find “something” that wasn’t covered – but even a well experienced solo photographer can cover the day very well in a few hundred photos…and details should be a very solid part of it.

Post # 28
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

DBallman, if you look through this board, this topic has been coming up a lot lately. In some cases, brides with over 2500 photos felt things were missing. For example, having the wedding rings, having the wedding pillow, but not having the wedding rings and pillow together. Or having close ups, wide shots, inside shots, and shots of the bride and groom together, but not having a close up, looking at the camera, smiling shot of the bride and groom outside at sunset.

I’ve seen complaints where the bride felt something was missed, but complained about how the photographer took TOO many of the guests or details. Someone complained there were 3 photos of a bucket but none of XYZ.

I’ve just noticed brides getting more and more specific with what they wanted afterwards.

I think you must communicate this beforehand as a bride.

For my own wedding, I went into it with the thought “I hope he captures some details and a couple great shots of my husband and I in the stadium.” And therefore, I was blown away by what he did get.

I use the photos to help trigger memories, so when I see a wide shot of my whole ceremony, I see the little light stands I had, for example. I didn’t need a specific closeup of them to remember I had them.

I think it is just getting hard for photographers to take every single detail in every single combination. When I am following a list of “stuff,” I can do it and do it well, but I do miss those true emotions and the chance to be super creative.

Post # 29
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@kwynn: i think the reason for all these specific complaints and requests is a result of all these wedding websites!  honestly, it changes our expectations seeing so many wedding pics all the time.  i just put my wedding photos on facebook last week and pretty much everyone IS blown away by them as you say you were by own photos!  And when i really truly think about what my expectations were for my wedding before i ever started planning – well i remember telling people “i just need a date, location, and dress!”.  Then i found weddingbee and had to plan the perfect centerpieces, place cards, flowers, everything!  And of course, get perfect photos of everything!   when i put my mind back to where i was at the beginning of this process and look at my photos with that perspective, then i am most certainly blown away by their awesomeness!   sometimes i almost wish i never looked at so many other people’s pictures!  anyway, just thought i would put my little observation out there.

also, i have seen you (kwynn) and another photographer on a different thread mention the same thing about the bride who was upset that she had pics of her ring pillow, her rings, but not of the rings ON the pillow!  I think it is myself that is being referenced there and i would like to clarify because i find it sounds so silly!  Yes, i did wish i had a pic of rings on pillow (well i am over it now and really couldn’t care less), but i was primarily upset with my ring pics because i have a heart shaped diamond e-ring, and in ALL my ring pics, it is upside down!  so its really not a usable photo…..and my photog got NO photos of my ring pillow! (that is the misconception i am clarifying).  So i wished i had told her how much i wanted one because i loved my pillow as it was so beautiful!  And since the rings were tied to it, it just would have followed that they would be in the pic.   One of the guest photos i got back however was of my ring pillow! i don’t know who took them, but it ended up on my computer folder of guest photos and i was thrilled! 

Post # 30
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

@Purple Unicorn- I do agree it is a curse of the Internet, we see so many photos. I think it is kind of like buying the dress-once you get it, stop looking. ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ll always find another one you think you have to have. Heck, I got married two years ago and can see some of the artistic stuff now and wish I had those from my wedding day.

You can probably Photoshop your engagement ring to be right side up. Did you ask the photographer? This is generally an easy fix.

Another thing I’d suggest to brides is, as you make things, take a photo of them. Most people have a bio or something or blog to share DIY’s anyway, so take a photo of your place cards or your bracelet or whathaveyou as a way to remember the planning too. I did that as I went through my engagement and I think that’s why I don’t care as much about the details from my wedding day.

The topic ‘Wedding photo disappointment – advice pls!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors