(Closed) Wedding Photos of Key Family Members

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I think you should consider your daughter’s feelings on this, since it was HER wedding day. If SHE is unhappy with the photographs, perhaps SHE can contact the photographer. I know that photographers only edit and provide a fraction of the photos they actually take, and perhaps the photographer didn’t notice that she hadn’t edited enough of the MOB.

 

Post # 4
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It might be worth it to ask your daughter if there are more photos out there of the two of you, and with her brother.  Ask nicely, and without the heartbreak comments.  I know you’re hurting and it’s painful for you, but don’t put that on her shoulders.  There might be more photos to be edited yet, or this might just be a selection of your daughter’s favorites.  I know a lot of photographers charge more to edit more than the preselected number of pics, so there might be money issues there too.

Post # 5
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

@MOBwBrokenHeart:  What’s the portfolio?  Are you looking at the entire wedding or a blog post or highlights?  Last year we had a mother of the bride contact us furious that we didn’t take any photos of her family.  Only she had been looking at a blog post (in which we vary rarely if every put family photos on), and we DID take family photos, and she was in NUMEROUS ones.  And ultimately the parents aren’t our clients, it’s the couple – and a lot of times our couples don’t care much about that sort of thing.  They know our style is primarily documentary, and we explain that in a weddings it’s extremely difficult for us to remember a new set of family relations when we shoot sometimes 3 weddings over the course of a weekend.  We urge our couples to just ask if they’d like a certain photo taken outside of the list of family formals we plan, but generally we take photos of whomever is near the couple that day.  It’s not entirely uncommon for a couple to have a sibling they are not super close to who keeps their distance.  You can’t assume the photographer knows who that person is.

There are so many potential variables that could be going on here that it’s hard to comment without knowing more.

Post # 6
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

@MOBwBrokenHeart I saw your other post as well and have a couple of questions. Have you seen ALL of the photos. Usually photogs will post a slideshow of a 100 or so images but give the couple more {around 400-800}. ALSO, you may contract the photographer as this could be an oversite.

Other things to consider, were you around during the bride getting ready? Did you interact with your daughter during the day or were you pulled in a different direction? I ask because I have had this situation with a client a few years ago. The mom was upset that there were not many photos of her but in reality she just wasn’t around. She was dealing with other relatives and things that were happening and wasn’t really around during the getting ready. She was more focused on getting herself looking the way she wanted instead of just being with the bride. I’m not, or any other photog for that matter, is going to miss moments with the bride to chase down any other relatives. NOT saying this was your situation, but the one I had to deal with.

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@continuumphotography:  This. I rarely see family photos in photographer blog posts/portfolios. Typically it’s bride, groom, bridal party, and detail shots.

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m very sorry you feel this way. Obviously it’s never nice to feel slighted or unappreciated. I’d urge you to contact your daughter and deal with her directly. Please don’t contact the photographer. My clients are the wedding couple. They call the shots as far as any decisions that are made, regardless of who paid or who attended the wedding. If anything needs to be done, having the couple contact the photographer is your best bet. I prefer to stay out of the family dynamics of my clients. It’s just not where I belong. I wish you the best of luck in getting this cleared up! 

Post # 9
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@PizzutiStudios:  This came up in my wedding, and as a bride, I am horrified that my Mother-In-Law tried to contact my photographer. The contract for the photos is between the couple and the photographer and personally I do not feel that anyone else has the right to try to get photos. Just something I wish my photographer and I had discussed in advance (luckily my photog  felt the same and told my mil she would have to get photos from us).

Post # 10
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

@happybunny I would never release the photos to anyone except the couple. But, if mom was kind to me on the day {I’m had some MOBZILLAs in my day} I would certainly look to see if I missed something, especially if I remember taking them.

I would contact the couple and let them know what was going on and arrange the extra images with them if there were any. We are talking maybe one or two images not any more than that.

Weddings are about the couples but they are also about the family’s that raise that couple as well. Dynamics or not I want to make everyone involved have a good experience. PLUS MOB are usually by best referrers.

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@PizzutiStudios:  exactly. As photographers we have no idea what is going on within a family. I’d never release images to anyone but the couple. In these cases always have the couple contact the photographer. In this case there just doesnt seem to be the possibility of additional images as the photographer wasn’t told to take them. A good lesson for all to always have a family photo list. 

Post # 12
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Lashmont:  Good advice, I did have a list but you know how the day goes… I totally agree with you that you should only release photos to the couple and that it always best for the couple to contact the photographer. I love when the bee has good professionals that can offer a perspective on the bee!

@PizzutiStudios:  I am glad that you would not release images to anyone except the couple. I was also very glad that my own photographer felt the same. Our issue came up as we dedided to keep some photos private and my MILl did not agree and wanted them. She tried to go around us by contacting the photographer directly. It was something I had never considered happening before it did so I had not talked about it before hand with my photog. Just shows that you cant plan for everything related to weddings! Anyway, I was furious at my Mother-In-Law and glad that my photographer told her she needed to speak with us and would not tell her anything about any other images. So as a bride who is the client, that is my advice to photographers, if anyone else calls tell them that the contract is with the bride and groom and they will have to direct all inquirys to them. Then say Good Day! 🙂  Good luck with your photography, thank you for providing a professional opinion on the bee!

Post # 13
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that the best professional photographers are not only experts in what makes a good shot from a technical standpoint (lighting, composition, etc) but also emotion/mood and take advantage of opportunities to capture special moments. It’s possible that the other loved ones simply spent more time interacting with the bride and so were in more photos, or there was some sort of subconscious (or conscious) tension between you and your daughter that was obvious in the photos, so the photographer or bride and groom preferred not to use those shots.

My mother has complained in the past that I’ll pose in more photos with my dad than with her, or that there weren’t enough photos of her at special events or the photos weren’t flattering enough… but she’s a true narcissist. I’m not accusing you of being one, but I think that your outrage is a bit misplaced since the  wedding was about your daughter and son in law, not you. Your emotions seem extreme (using the words “horrific” and “heartbroken”) and you state that the photography was great but that the photos of you were poor representations. What is it about the photos of you that you dislike, and is it fair to blame the photographer?

 

I’m interested in your perspective because I’d like to avoid drama with my mother regarding the photo album and it’s always good to see another side 🙂

 

Post # 14
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also wondering if you’ve actually seen all the photos, you might be worried over nothing. Otherwise, there’s so many people for the bride to take photos with, you need to be happy you could at least get one or two in. I’d understand if there were none whatsoever, but that’s not the case. I just hope your daughter is happy with the photos, and that you worry less about her feelings than your own heartbreak.

 

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