Post # 1
When I got engaged I felt really overwhelmed by everything and since we were planning a Tahoe wedding from LA we decided to hire a planner. We hired her in December and everything was fine. Our wedding is not until June 2009.
Every month she would email me a couple of items to consider, it was never much since it was so far out. She emailed me about music in April and said she would be sending me some sampes that week. I never got them or heard from her. I was really wrapped up in finishing grad school so I didn’t really care. I emailed her a couple of weeks ago to remind her and she emailed me back a few days later saying time had gotten away from her and she would send me a detailed response very soon. I still haven’t heard back from her.
She has never been as responsive with emails as I would like but I just figure my wedding is way in the future so it’s not a big deal. Now I’m ready to start planning and I don’t know if I should have a converstion with her about this. I’m really non-confrontational so any suggestions would be great. How should I handle this? Am I over reacting?
Post # 3
Is there a planning timeline or communication protocol laid out in the contract that would help indicate how responsive you can expect her to be? For example, emails will be answered in x amout of time or when things should be gearing up on the planning front?
She may be busy/distracted with other clients, but it is not a good sign. Perhaps if the details aren’t included in the contract or agreement, email her to ask what you can expect. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to get a jump on planning. 🙂
Post # 4
I would check with her regarding time frames– maybe approach it as you’re wanting to make sure you’re on schedule and know she can tell you what to be thinking about when? Being as you’re nearly a full year ahead of time, I really doubt there’s a whole lot to be doing now. We started planning our wedding as soon as we got engaged, but with only 6 months of lead time, and even so, our DOC let me know that she doesn’t really start working with brides until 3 months prior- which has worked out perfectly well. Can you ask her?
Post # 5
I agree with the PPs. I would also lay out expectations for communication preferences. She’s not a mindreader, so she probably doesn’t even know that there’s a problem.
Post # 6
Are you going to be North Shore or South Shore? What is your venue? Just curious, I haven’t run into too many other Tahoe brides around here.
I’m getting married in July 2009, and we’re barely thinking about this stuff yet. We’ve got a venue and a photograper and we’re working on a caterer. We’re doing all of this from Seattle, although we’ve both lived in Tahoe for extended time periods so we know the area really well.
I’ve been giving my vendors a week and then following up. I’ve only needed to do that once. I told this to the vendor that I recontacted in a nice way. I said, "I didn’t want to bother you, but I had been wondering about X, so I’m following up. I figure I’ll give everyone a week because they are busy and then call back" She was so responsive and said that if I didn’t hear from her within 48 hours to call her, and she has always called back immediately since then.
Hope that helps!
Post # 7
I completely understand that all this is happening way in advance. I’m just a little frustrated that she keeps telling me she will do things the next day or week and then nothing happened. If she just said to we’ll work on that at X time then it would be fine. It just feels a little flakey to say you’ll do something at a given time and then not do it. It makes me worry that this kind of behavior will continue but I guess I’ll just wait and see if her communication improves as we get closer to the date.
Doctorgirl – I’m getting married in South Shore at Edgewood. Right now we have our venue, church and photographer lined up. I wouldn’t be worried about getting music at this point except she brought it up. Where are you getting married?
Post # 8
I would just tell her, if you are paying her just tell her what you expect, that you are reday to plan and etc..She isnt going to know just because you stated it here, let her know and then if she doesnt do what is expected and agreed upon, then you knwo what you will hav etod. Go over your contract, what are those logisitics? I had huge amounts of problems w/ my planner and at the end let her go, dont get that far, its to stressful and btw, CONGRATULATIONS 🙂
If you need help, PM me, I can consult and try to help you out via e-mail but I plan in the NYC/NJ areas. My business is here.
Post # 9
Definitely reach out to her – you are right to be concerned about flakiness as a potential red flag. A nice way to set expectations is to clarify the communication protocol and timeline. Once you are both on the same page, then if she doesn’t honor that, you know there is a problem.
Post # 10
I am a North Lake bride. We are getting married at Shinneyboo Creek Resort on July 18th next year. It’ll be a weekend wedding, so we’re definitely already planning, since we have 3 days worth of activities to plan!
We have booked Annie X photography and are working on finalizing our caterer. We don’t have a coordinator, although C’s sister does this stuff all the time for the resort she manages, so we feel like we can handle it on our own.
Edgewood is great!!! Keep in touch, hopefully this chickie starts to understand your expectations of her, and if she doesn’t I hope you can find someone who will!
Post # 11
A wedding planner’s job is to be on top of things. You should not have to remind them to do things they said they would do!! I would consider finding someone else. I considered one planner who was really flaky about even setting up our first meeting – a clear red flag!! The DOC we went with was amazing – very organized, responsive, on-top of stuff etc. I am actually amazed how unresponsive vendors were in general, but you really should expect a planner to be the one on top of you and them!!