(Closed) Wedding Planning Advice

posted 6 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

If I can offer any advice about wedding planning, it’s “Do your research.” Don’t rely solely on the recommendations of friends or family for your vendors. Not too long ago, I discovered a florist who is well acquainted with my Future Mother-In-Law had a bunch of “stolen” photos as part of her portfolio- had I not checked wedding websites, checked the Better Business Bureau, ran things through TinEye and Google Image Search, etc. I would not have known and I could have ended up doing business with a very unethical person (and gotten crappy flowers to show for it!) Every vendor, every person/place you do business with- make sure they are solid from top to bottom. 

Best of luck to you, and congratulations!

Post # 3
Member
9152 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
FutureMrsHitBee:  If you already suspect taking their money will cause problems, I wouldn’t take their money. People “express interest” in a lot of things, doesn’t mean you have to oblige.

Post # 4
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee

We hired a day of planner.  They gave us a “timeline” form and I found it really helpful.  This first part had the vendors (we had to fill in) and contact info etc.  Then there was a page for bridal party info etc.  And then the timeline which basically laid out everything in the day…so if it wasn’t written then we could assume it wouldn’t be happening.  It helped us to remember some things like ring box and cake knife etc because we had to write out who would supply them the day of, where and when.  This of course led to clean up.

Additionally we used a shared Onenote notebook for ideas, taking notes during vendor conversations, checklists for follow-up conversations.

We also had an excel spreadsheet for the budget.

Post # 8
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We ended up accepting parent gifts for paying for the reception and yeah it has caused a few issues, but honestly we would not have been able to afford the big family wedding we (and my parents) were looking to have.  My family is big, and my family LOVES weddings.  I think it’s definitely possible to accept financial gifts graciously, as long as you acknowledge that it may come with some strings attached.  Our other option was to pitch a tent in my parents’ backyard (they live on a farm), which was an idea I loved but I knew that would come with even MORE strings attached…

My best advice?  Don’t get too deep into wedding websites.  They will literally rope you in and you will blow your budget because of all the “must haves”.  I have not once looked at The Knot in this whole process and I’m grateful to that.  I have utilized Pinterest a lot, mostly for pictures for inspiration, though I also used Pinterest to find “budget wedding” ideas and “wedding checklist” ideas.  If you find a good comprehensive wedding checklist, that will help you immensely with your wedding planning.

Also, people will have opinions.  People will want to give you advice.  People will want you to do things their way.  You’re not obligated.  Not at all.  You can politely say “no thanks, I have that part under control!”.  I’ve had so many people come up to me giving me pointers and tips and ideas that honestly were NOT helpful at all, but until I got comfortable with saying “I’ve got it, thanks!” they came in droves.

I’ve actually found the entire process to be pretty overwhelming.  I’m actually getting really sick of all the decisions to be made and all the money that has been and needs to be spent.  I love my guy and I’m SO GLAD I’m marrying him, but I literally don’t care about most details.  People expect me to care, but I don’t.  Maybe that makes me a bad bride or something but I just don’t have an opinion on most things.  It’s ok if you’re like me and you’re not the kind of bride who cares about every little thing!  🙂

Post # 10
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee

Thought of 2 more things:

1. someone mentioned reviews.  Yes, read the YELP reviews.  And what I didn’t realize was the some reviews get filtered.  So there’s a very hard to see link to see these reviews…read those!!

2. We took notes on our onenote during phone conversations with vendors.  THEN we would send an email with a summary of what we talked about and what was agreed to.  So then there’s written proof 🙂

Post # 12
Hostess
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
FutureMrsHitBee:  

  1. What websites/resources did you find to be really helpful during the wedding planning process? Weddingbee, Google images and wedding magazines.
  2. Is there anything that people tend to forget about during the planning process but needs to get done? I’d forgotten to organise, actually even think about how we could get all the pictures guests took. Last minute we set up a Flickr account, but no-one uploaded anything as we hadn’t printed anything with the site details, password etc. I was quite anti Facebook when it came to my wedding pics.
  3. Is there any additional advice that you would give? Yeah, I know it’s cliche but do what the two of you want, seriously.

 

Post # 13
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t know if it is an option in your area but we went to an almost one stop shop venue. They provide everything, ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, food, alcohol, cake, dj, day of coordination until dinner and basic decoration. Check, check, check! We provide our touches, officiant, photographer, florist, tear down of our things and transportation. That can help with your anxiety? It makes it so much easier when you don’t have to plan every little detail! The photographers we found have been so helpful with that timeline. I have asked vendors to recommend other vendors. Our florist recommended the officiant, the officiant recommended the photographers, the photographers recommended the hair and makeup artist. Pretty much anywhere vendors have a small world, they know who works best with them and for the couple. That will be very helpful for you. 

 

Its good to talk to the family. I’m sure they will appreciate having imput. 

Post # 14
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Do a lot of research!  I started a spreadsheet with everything I saw online that I liked and thought I would want at my wedding.  I added the line where I found it as well, and started a Pinterest board that my bridal party and my mom can add to. This far in the planning now I have gone back and said “well that is cute but I really don’t need that because I want this instead” on a lot of things. 

I also have learned that once you make a decision stand by it and stop looking!!!  For things like bridesmaid dresses, I would find one but keep looking and find a different one. I was making myself and them crazy.  Now when I make a decision on something I don’t even look for anything on it anymore. It has helped eliminate the feeling of going in circles. 

 

As far as money, I didn’t want to take any from our families either because I wanted the choices to be mine (my mother is a tad over bearing).  But when it came down to it she wanted to help so that we could have the wedding we (and she) wanted.  We are still paying for a quite a bit though of it though so I have been able to reason with her.  She wanted a bunch of her friends that I don’t know and I just don’t see that being reasonable.  Her solution was to “hire” them as servers (we are doing DIY wedding, just rented the venue).  That is fine with me because we need them anyway.  Other things we differ on I explain why and we come to an agreement.  Some things that I just don’t care about that much I am letting her do completely.

Post # 15
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just FYI we took money from our parents (basically we paid for half, mine paid 25%, his paid 25%) which was so generous and wonderful of them and it did not lead to any problems at all. My mom is not into weddings and she doesn’t live here so she wasn’t really involvEd. I was thankful to have Mother-In-Law here to help me. I don’t think the money changed anything except yes, when she asked if she could invite about 6 people who I didn’t know I just said yes because, hey, she’s paying for way more than that, she should be allowed to invite her friends! 

weding planning advice: hire a wedding planner or at least a day of coordinator. Seriously it’s the #1 key to a couples happiness on the day (In terms of planning/logistics)

other wedding advice: do everything as soon as you can and don’t procrastinate. Makes the process way less stressful. I actually loved wedding planning. 

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