- 12 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Ugh. I’ve been a bit upset today. We are just about 5.5 months to the wedding and no one seems to be excited but me. Well, my mom is possibly inching towards excitement, its difficult to know from e-mails sometimes, ya know? But while my Future Mother-In-Law is being a huge help with things, I feel like she sees the wedding as more a burden then an exciting event to look forward to.
Then, on top of the worry no one else cares, there is the fact that I am having to do a great deal on my own. My Maid/Matron of Honor, my older sister, refuses to do anything. She has even told me flat out she will NOT be throwing me a bachelorette party. Of the 3 bridesmaids, the only one who wants to plan it can’t because she lives on the other side of the country and will probably not be here until the night before the wedding- too late for a bachelorette party. So I can either throw myself a party, which makes me want to cry, or I can go without, which also makes me want to cry.
*sigh* Frankly, outside of my excitement over the invitations (I am making them all myself and they are fabulous, if I do say so myself!), the whole wedding process has me down lately. I really regret having a long engagement (1.5 years). I wish my Fiance was more interested in eloping. I wish we had the money for a honeymoon (we were going to go camping for 2 days, but our top 5 choices of camp grounds have been booked up solid for months and months and months!) I feel like my Fiance and I fight all the time because I’m so unhappy about this planning and he’s so wrapped up in his stuff that I burst (we are in counseling, which helps, but we’ve got a ways to go). Its like, when its just Fiance and I, no wedding stuff involved, we’re good and happy, but throw in wedding stuff and suddenly everything falls apart!
I just feel like crying about it all in general, but don’t know what would help, if anything. I’m not really sure if i’m looking for advice, or hope, or a shoulder to cry on that cares (since no one in my life seems to give a shit). I just feel so overwhelmed, unloved, left out of the fun aspects (engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc.) but forced to do all the crap stuff (actually planning the wedding).