Post # 1
Has anyone else experienced wedding planning fatigue?
Today has been my worst day ever in terms of planning. I have been very emotional because I feel that I am doing so much of the planning by myself. My fiance is wonderful (he planned the honeymoon, has gone to vendor appointments with me) and has been very supportive so when I say by myself I mean without a lot of help from the bridal party or my mother. I find myself thinking of this wedding 24/7 because I want everything to be the best it can be. Since I only get one shot at this (I really only plan on having one wedding in my life) I feel like I have to work at this wedding. However, I am staring to experiece severe fatigue and some resentment at the lack of help?
Anyone else experience this?
Any ideas on how to fix this?
Post # 3
I had this kind of day too. We are 6 1/2 weeks away from our wedding, and I have totally been where you are for a long while. It’s not that anyone hasn’t helped– they have. You just said exactly what I said when I called my mother bawling for no particular reason after work today. I feel so much pressure for this day to be perfect, but I’m starting to find that the perfection is so hard to get just right and honestly, I’m the only one who is going to notice whether or not perfect actually reached “perfect.”
Relax. Ask your bridesmaids to help you. Have them over for wine and a girls’ night to make lists and discuss. One of my maids who got married last September sent me all of her lists (wedding party schedules, vendor schedules, even her program) and it helped me so much to see where to start when I was feeling overwhelmed. You’ll be ok. I promise. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m going to be ok, too!
Post # 4
I’ve kind of.. stopped. There is a lot that needs to be done, but I kind of hit a roadblock.
My mom is super helpful, my Maid/Matron of Honor is always offering and Fiance is wonderful. But I just got a little frustrated and put it on the back burning for a bit.
Post # 5
Yup. So I scrapped the plans for a huge giant wedding and scaled down to a back yard reception and haven’t given it a thought in a week. Its been so nice.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada
I can totally relate! I’m planning from abroad though which ads another element to it and 2 of my bridesmaids are in other countries as well so can’t really get that much help. My mum doesnt care at all and just sighs and changes the aubject or something if i mention anything. Fiance is supportive but doesn’t yet have the sense of urgency about stuff I have so I am literally doing everything apart from shower/bachelorette by myself. He also keeps tellig me I have wedding brain – but if I don’t sort it out nothing will literally get done!
I have hit a bit of a roadblock at the moment as well and feel a bit like I can’t be bothered with planning anymore, but I know I will get over it and that it will be wonderful and worth it on the day. I treated myself to a massage and a facial on Sunday (gift from FI) though to which also helped a lot. 🙂
Post # 7
I know what you mean! I’ve been exhausted!! Only 39 days till the big day and I didn’t do any wedding stuff last night. Sometimes I feel guilty for not doing anything but I keep telling myself that we have alot going on right now. We are also in the process of moving and need to be out of our apartment by our wedding day.
Post # 9
Planning your wedding (especially without a planner as I just did) is absolutely exhausting. You will hit several waves of exhaustion along the way, so make sure you are doing really nice restorative things for yourself along the way. Also no one knows what you are going through in your particular stew of wedding planning, so don’t assume that they do (which might be contributing to the resentment).
The best thing you can do is ASK for help. Not everyone in a wedding party/family assumes they are going to work when they are asked to be in the wedding, nor is everyone very good at getting things done. Make sure you are up front and clear about what you want from the person so that if they say yes (let them say no too), they know what they are agreeing to do. And then give them tasks. Real tasks that they can accomplish without you; tasks that you can oversee and then check off the list. And if they fail, find someone else. Oh, a list. Make one. Break it down to all the little steps you need to do so you have a real itemized plan of what needs to happen. And adjust that list as priorities shift; let go of details as time runs out (which it will, and that is ok, you didn’t need them anyway.)
Lastly, the bit about perfection. This I think, is THE struggle of wedding planning. You are being culturally pressured to think of this as THE BIGGEST DAY IN YOUR LIFE. Well, it’s not. It’s going to be fun, and awesome and emotional, and it’s going to go by so fast that you will be ecstatic you hired a photographer you love to capture it all so you can remember what the hell happened. Remember that. It will go by SO FAST; don’t sweat the details, you will not care after the fact. Make a goal, shoot for it, adjust as time limits your ideas and then relax and enjoy what you were able to achieve. It will be great. You will be married in the end and that’s the important part. 😀
Post # 10
@Filmnikita: That was amazing. Thank you for that!!