- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
I can’t even believe that I am in this situation, writing this post, because I am, overall, one of the most laid-back brides I have heard about. My parents are very *very* opinionated, know exactly what they want for my wedding, adn are paying for the wedding. I have been happy to let them make the decisions, because they have wanted to and really care about things that I am fairly mellow about – they picked the location, the band, the food, the photographer, etc…of course there have been things that I cared about, like choosing the wedding cake, or having some say in the menu, but I still gave in on them, because it was clearly more important to my micro-managing parents than it was to me, and not worth fighting about. My parents refuse to recognize any of these compromises that I have made, instead repeatedly mentioning the one compromise that they made (my fiance wanted a mashed-potato bar appetizer, which my parents thought was appalling…and they cared SO much that we not have one that we honestly had a brawl about it b/c I thought it was absurd that they cared so much that we not have one. my fiance has been talking about the damn mashed potato bar since about day one after we got engaged – how could I not support him in fighting my parents on this!?)
But now that it’s getting close (two weeks away) and we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty, the only thing that I myself have cared about is the walking down the aisle…my fiance all along has wanted to not see me before the ceremony – he’s a total romantic and has dreamed of seeing me for the first time that moment. Well, my parents really wanted to take formal pics beforehand, so after a TON of fighting, he caved in, and we’re doing pics before the ceremony.
But we both still want the moment where I come out to be special – even though there’ll be tons of other people around, we both want me to come out and have that time, walking down the aisle. But every time we mention this, my mom can’t stop shrieking about how she has been dreaming of having both my parents walk me down the aisle ever since I was born. The conversation can’t ever be civil, because she loses it – she literally screams and cries and throws a temper tantrum and storms out of the room.
I have tried SO hard to compromise. Suggested that my parents come out, walk halfway down the aisle, then I come out alone, have 10 seconds alone, then meet up with them partway down the aisle so they walk me the rest of the way. Or that I come out alone, before my parents, have a 10 seconds alone, then they walk out behind me, and we walk the rest of the way together.
Well, none of this is acceptable. The only acceptable answer is that I walk flanked by them the whole time. My parents are failing to grasp that this is something I truly care about. They are completely convinced that I am the one being unreasonable. I don’t even know what else to do anymore. I can honestly say that I don’t even like my parents right now, because I am seeing a completely selfish side of them. This is my wedding, right?? I might not be a typical bride, but that doesnt mean I haven’t dreamed of walking down the aisle. But I know if I don’t cave in on this the way I have on everything else, my parents won’t forgive me.
But how can I forgive them for putting me in this situation????
I’m sorry to rant like this, but I am really sad. I honestly think that our relationship will be destroyed either way…