Post # 1
I’m not just talking about where and when (we’ve already got that). I’m talking about familial issues. We’re getting married in 10 months. I’ve had a total of four anxiety attacks and a round of depression since getting engaged because my family thinks we should wait. Their idea is waiting three years (when we’ve already been together for 4 1/2 years) because my brother graduates high school in 2020. I know they mean well, but we’re not rushing it just because we can but because we want to start our life and be together for as long as we can.
Sorry for that being so long, but with all that being said, any ideas on how to deal with this stress while planning both a September wedding AND my college graduation in May?
Post # 2
Is there a reason that your parents want you to have graduated high school before your wedding? In my opinion graduations, marriages are all happy things worth celebrating ! I get that positive things can still be stressors so as far as your own schooling goes set a reasonable timeline of what you need to do to plan the wedding and focus on one thing at a time while keeping your school work a top priority(I can relate as I’m pretty sure I will have a final exam the week after my wedding!) For me most of the planning has gone smoothly it’s just when I overthink and let my mind wander ahead that I start to panic. As far as your parents wanting you to wait I’m not quite sure I understand their reasoning behind that
Post # 3
*correction I meant is there a reason they want your brother to have graduated high school before the wedding
Post # 4
Maybe I’m missing the point here, but why on earth does it matter when your brother is graduating high school, unless you are planning your wedding on that exact date? Your family are not making any sense and frankly I would try to stop caring about their absurd opinions. If they are stressing you out stop discussing wedding plans with them. Unless they are paying for it?
As for your own graduation, is there really a lot (or any) planning that goes into that for you? May and September are pretty far apart.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Your parents are being ridicoulous. You brother has nothing to do with this. Is there more to the story? Because your wedding is in September and your graduating in May. That’s a 4 month gap. What are you planning for your graduation? Unless your planning a HUGE party I don’t see what the problem is. But that still gives you 4 months inbetween. So I am not sure why you are so stressed about that. As far as your parents, the date is set so there is nothing they can do. You need to tell them that. It’s done, point blank.
Post # 6
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
I’m confused… what’s your brother got to do with it.
Post # 7
readybeeone2three : they want him to have the same things I did when I graduated high school. and oh my, good luck on that exam! I’m sure it’ll be stressful amidst the wedding, but I’m sure you’ve got this!
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Since turning 18 it’s been a constant struggle to begin my life cause they remind me that I’m not ready for the real world. (Sad I know but I guess it’s out of love?)
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
brunettenarwhal : I’m not understanding how you getting married 4 months later has any impact on him having everything you had?
Post # 9
I don’t know what’s going on in your family, but you’ll have to disregard what they’re saying unless there’s some truth to the idea that “you’re not ready for the real world”. If that’s the case, you can take their advice, learn about the real world, and get married without having to wait for your brother to do anything or put marriage off for years.
Begin your life. Don’t wait for their permission, because they’re not going to give it to you. They can’t anyway. Unless you’re trying to start your life on their dime or with their involvement, there’s no permission to give. You grew up — that’s it, it’s done, and now the reins are in your hands.
In their opinion, what aren’t you ready for?
Post # 10
Sounds like they want to keep you a child and close to them, rather than allowing you to move into adulthood naturally. You probably will have to fight a bit to get free–I’m so sorry, but it’s better than never getting free.
You can get married without their help and without their permission.