Post # 1
Hello, my fiance and I recently set our wedding date. It’s 9 months away. Over the past year my father has been battling cancer and we found out back in August that it is terminal. The oncologist will not give us a time frame, but my dad gave us quite a scare this past weekend as he battled a high fever and pain for several days. Thankfully he is doing better. We honestly do not know if we have weeks, months, or years. Because of this I want to set up some sort of emergency plan in case we need to move the wedding up. I cannot imagine getting married without my dad there and he wants so badly to be there.
I would love any advice/tips on making this kind of emergency plan. I am doing as much wedding planning ahead of time, listing essentials, and contemplating putting a small notice on our save the dates that they wedding date may be subject to change due to my dad’s health. I would love to speak with anyone with experience in this type of thing.
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Post # 2
That is really a shame, and you have my sympathies. The only experience I have is that I attended a wedding, that was sped up a lot, because the bride’s mother was dying of cancer, and the bride wanted her mother to see her get married.
All the guest knew this, and it cast a pall upon the fancy country club reception. The MOB couldn’t attend the reception, and was wheeled into the church in a wheelchair for the ceremony. It was sad throughout the day, and the Maid/Matron of Honor cried while giving the speech.
I feel it would have been better to forego the big party in the circumstance, and have an intimate ceremony at home or at the church. But the bride didn’t want to forego the big event.
The MOB died while the couple was on their honeymoon, and they had to come back early. The marriage only lasted about 2 years. The couple, in retrospect, probably would have broken up in a year or so if not for this accelerated marriage.
Post # 3
Why not get legally married BEFORE the actual wedding? You could have a small, intimate ceremony with just your parents and his parents (and siblings, if you have any). Then, at your later date – you can have your big wedding. If your father makes it to both, that’s fabulous – if not, you will have spent that time w/him at the private ceremony where you legally got married.
Post # 4
Thank you for the comments! I’ll definitey take both of those things into consideration. I talked with my dad and asked him what he would want me to do. He said he wants to wait until he goes for his appointment with another doctor to get a second opinion.
I can bring up the possibility of doing the legal marriage before the wedding. The wedding itself will be small and intimate, so moving it up may not be difficult as long as there is sufficient notice. I’m trying to get everything set up as soon as possible. Things like my registry, ceremony plans/details, and vendors. That way I have them all picked and there’s less to do in the event that I have less than 9 months.