(Closed) WEDDING PLANS – COMPLETED…ENGAGEMENT – PENDING

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

We were ready to be engaged for a while but Fiance was still looking for a job. He wanted to be working when we made it official, so I knew he’d be asking once it happened…

In the meantime I researched prices of venues and started browsing wedding dress designs…

And I’m glad I did! I was ahead of the game when we got engaged and it made the process much easier. I got things booked right away.

 

Post # 4
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 1996

we havent officially planned out wedding… but we know pretty much what is going to happen.. i feel like its best to get your ideas sorted beforehand, especially if you want a shorter engagement! less headache later! I would only tell people about your wedding planning if they will be supportive. you dont need that stress!

Post # 5
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We visited a venue before we were officially engaged. I felt awkward the entire time, but it did help us get started in the wedding planning process. It ended up being out of our price range because of a change in circumstances, but it was still helpful. And we’d stay up at night talking about all kinds of wedding stuff. We’d come to some item that required a bit of debate that we couldn’t resolve at the moment and we’d kid around – “C’mon! We have to have the entire wedding planned TONIGHT!!” It was fun, and much less stressful that actual wedding planning, with the final decisions and money and all that.

Post # 6
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m not officially engaged yet, but I’ve been researching venues, trying to come up with a rough guest list, and some colors and a relative date. I feel like we might end up coming out well by doing this. This way we aren’t as stressed when we are finally actually engaged. Since I will be just starting out my first professional job, and he will be in his last year of Engineering school. 

Both of our families know our intent to get engaged and married, and eventhough my mom thought I was weird at first and told me to quit it until I was engaged, is actually supportive and agrees that this is a good idea for us. We have more time to budget and get our heads around something more sensible. Granted we haven’t planned the whole thing or put down any deposits yet… have to leave something for when we are really engaged, eh? 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with ravenwait. Don’t tell anyone that doesn’t need to know. Some people are uncomfortable with things that are outside the “norm” and it’s best not to have to worry about their judgement. If they are an integral part of your life, I could see explaining it to them. But otherwise, they don’t need to know. My mom describes my relationship as assbackwards. But it took her years to accept the fact that I’m not the type of person to have traditionally ordered relationships. On the plus side, you won’t have to worry about the stress of figuring things out once it’s totally official.

Post # 8
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@miss hellas:

YOU ARE SO NOT ALONE!

my Fiance and I did the same thing, mainly bc it took us so long to save the $ for the ring and we had a specific date/year/etc in mind. So weve been planning since july and i just got engaged this past weekend. before this past weekend, every time i would bring up my upcoming engagement, everyone would ask me “well, arent you already engaged?”  UGH!

so what if we decide to do things in a different order than everyone else. i like being prepared. Tongue out

Post # 9
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

A friend and her now Darling Husband booked a venue before they were “officially” engaged.  They knew when they were going to get married the following year and wanted to get things lined up while they were both in town. (They were both pursuing doctorates at different places and wanted to get married right after graduation).

Who cares if people don’t get it?  The only thing that matters is that you and your SO are happy. 

Post # 10
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I’m working on planning my wedding right now as well. We aren’t offically engaged, but we have a tentative date set. We went to look at a Venue last Friday. My SO calls me crazy when I bring it up, but that’s because he’s feeling pressured. But during the Venue visit he was very helpful, offering opinions and such and really thinking about it. So as long as I keep my cool and don’t bring it up eight times a day every single day I think he’ll be okay. Not to mention he wants to be working like someone else mentioned before we get engaged. For us it’s a good thing to do. This way, I don’t have fifteen hands in my basket telling me how to plan our wedding. That way it will stay OUR wedding and not any one elses. I’ve actually enjoyed the planning, and I’m looking forward to the actual engagement, because with all this pre-planning, we can just start booking things, paying vendors off and just worry about the DIY projects!

Post # 11
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

You’re not alone… My bf and I are not ‘officially’ engaged but I have set a wedding for next and have already started the planning process. I’ve told my sister and one of my closest friends about it and they were both supportive of me. My bf told me he wants to go all out with the proposal and it will be done before the end of the year. So I’m not rushing him. How I see the proposal is always the man’s big moment while the wedding is ours so give him time, if you all are discussing and making wedding plans it will happen. Don’t listen to what haters have to say because all they will do is hate.

Post # 12
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You are DEFINITELY not alone. I went dress shopping with my BF/MoH before I got my ring and my Fiance, his Bridesmaid or Best Man and I even went to meet the caterer and venue coordinator before the ring came as well. When ppl looked or asked about my missing ring I just told them we sent it out for cleaning or to be sized. :o)

Post # 13
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We were officially engaged on our 10 year anniversary.  Obviously I had started to wedding plan way before that!! =)

Post # 14
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Do whatever makes you happy!  🙂

Post # 15
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We were planning a wedding without he asking me to marry him and without a ring. I considered myself engaged already. You’re not crazy, you’re practical.

Post # 16
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

To me, it’s not your lack of a ring that’s the issue – it’s the lack of a proposal. If he hasn’t officially proposed yet I would hold off on the major planning. 

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