Post # 1
Okay ladies I need some advice.
Fiance and I want to have a wedding at the Oregon coast. For those of you who don’t know about Oregon, it basically rains 9 months out of the year. The nicest weather at the coast is August-September which is why I’ve always wanted a late summer/early fall wedding.
Well, my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor just moved to Oklahoma where she is going to nursing school, which is great for her but terrible for wedding planning.
So here is the situation: Maid/Matron of Honor has a break from school from August 2nd to August 20th when she could come back to Oregon and spend time and we could have the wedding. Great plan right? Well all of the wedding venues on the Coast that are big enough for our group (150ish people) are taken on both saturday the 10th and 17th. (I’m still getting info on Friday availability which I kind of hate but I would consider.)
After then she doesn’t have another break until Winter break (we reallllly don’t want to get married in the winter). Heres the problems:
Problem 1: During school she cannot miss any of her clinicals otherwise she will fail the course AND she doesn’t know when her clinicals are yet so we cant plan around them.
Problem 2: She will be graduating in December and looking for a job and once she finds one (nursing jobs are much more plentiful in OK than in OR) she will have an 18 week waiting period when she cannot for any reason miss any shifts at the hospital.
Back to the drawing board
Option 1: my favorite venue has an opening on the 24th of August. MOH could potentially come for her break and we could do the bachelorette party/bridal party stuff that we want to, and she could come back that next weekend (not easy but potentially…)
Option 2: We could wait until NEXT August (2014) to get married in order to make sure she and eveyone else can attend and hope that she has enough vacation time saved up to get a little time off.
Fiance says to just plan what is best for us and hope that people will make it work, but if she wasn’t there for my wedding I would be devestated.
What would you do?
Post # 3
My wedding is in 2014, so im biased. Although planning WAY ahead gives you ALOT of time to perfect everything, and you don’t feel so rushed. What are the drawbacks of having the wedding is 2014?
Post # 4
The only drawbacks to 2014 at the moment are the fact that Fiance and I have been together for over six years and I’m tired of waiting haha. But seriously I was talking to my favorite venue today and he said tha because they are remodeling the price is going to jump in 2014 whereas in 2013 we will have all the new remodel with the old price, AND that still doesn’t guarantee my Maid/Matron of Honor to be able to come just that she might have a job with some vacation time instead of working around school.
It just kind of sucks because I’m willing to wait until 2014, thats a non-issue, I just feel like no matter what, I am making the wrong decision.
Post # 5
We planned ours so far in advance because most of fi’s family is 2200 miles away.. we wanted PLENTY of time to make sure everyone knows about it. We’re actually going to send the STDS 1 year in advance.
I think you should weight in your decisions. How likely is she to come in 13 vs 14? If the chance is higher in ’14, and you can’t stand to NOT have her there, I’d go ’14.
Also, maybe you could ask the venue to book at ’13’s prices.. My venue charged is ’12 prices because we booked in ’12.
I hope you figure something out, it sucks to think that some folks might not be able to make it, esp. if you wouldn’t dream of NOT having them there.
Post # 6
I would just plan for this year since your Maid/Matron of Honor can come for the weekend of the wedding. Even if she arrives the morning of the wedding and leaves the next day, at least she will be there. I would cut back your expectations of what she might need to do in the lead up and on the day of the wedding and it should all be fine. Will it be a little stressful for her (and you) of course but I am sure if she is a good friend she will be willing to have one hectic weekend.
Post # 7
Which is more important – getting married sooner, or having your Maid/Matron of Honor there? it’s a really tough decision to make, but once you make that decision, you’ll know what to do.
IMO, you can’t plan your wedding around everyone’s schedules. I would go ahead with the plans as they are, hope your Maid/Matron of Honor can make it, and be understanding if she can’t.
Post # 8
@j_jaye: This was my original thinking but the unfortunate part is that she will have to be in OK for school for the week inbetween which doesnt guarantee her here in time for the wedding (I’m really not worried about her missing stuff the week before, but she really wants to be involved in those things). Then again neither does 2014… I guess its just a mess haha
Post # 9
But if you get married on a Saturday (the 24th) then she can just fly in for the wedding even if it is the day of the wedding (but preferably the Friday night) which shouldn;t interfer with scholl (as it would be M-F).
Post # 10
Do not plan your wedding around a friend! For all you know she won’t be available in Aug 2014 for some other reason. Pick the date which works best for *you* (which sounds like Aug 24 2013), and she will get there if she can. I cannot conceive of delaying marriage for a whole year just so one person can be there.
Post # 11
Isn’t there a certain number of classes that you can miss per semester without it affecting your grade?
Surely she could be ‘sick’ on Friday, and fly out on the Thursday after her classes finish.
If she has a break in early August she could also visit and at that time you could have all the other wedding related parties. You might want to offer her help with airfares if she does decide to visit you twice in a short period of time.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the words of advice ladies! I appreciate some non-biased (and non-emotional on my part) opinions!
@theone99: Yeah, I wish that was the case, its not the classes that are the issue its her clinicals in the hospital that she cant miss 🙁
Post # 13
@lovelorlo: I’m probably one of the more impatient brides-to-be but I say go for 2013. Have faith that it’ll begins with your Maid/Matron of Honor. you technically have all of the information that you need. You know that the venue price will go up in another year. However, you don’t know what other major changes may come a year from now. If you really want to be married sooner than later than go for it. Your fiancé is about to be the most important person in your life. This will all be just fine. Friday may feel a littunion conventional but not terrible. Might even end up costing less. 🙂
Post # 14
My best friend had a baby a week before my wedding, so was unable to make it. She originally asked me if I would change the wedding date to accomodate her. As much as it was hard to get married without her by my side, the day was amazing and ultimately, we ended up married and celebrating the day with some amazing people.
This is a celebration of you and your husband-to-be. There are likely going to be very important people who can’t be there for one reason or another, but you can only do so much.
The only people you should plan the wedding around IMO are you, your Fiance and immediate family.