(Closed) Wedding pressure STRESS HELP!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 1
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

Hey Bees

 

Ok. So…I am finding this plannign malarkie hard. I feel pressure from all angles and I can’t stand it. Some of the things people are saying to me Im like ‘do you even know who I am?!’ and I am just all stressed baout it. People keep saying I should definately NOT wear my glasses or that I should DEFINNATELY wear my hair up…or that it would be silly to not have real flowers at a wedding etc.etc.

 

I just don’t know what to do – people telling me I should look a certain way is doing my head in and is also deeply upsetting. I mean am I seriously going to look like a gremlin with my glasses on?! And if my Mother-In-Law2B keeps going on about havign to have real flowers I am goign to punch her. I don’t like real flowers especially not the outdated skanky ones she wants me to have.

I am finding it hard to smile and say ‘we’re doing it our way’ and change the subject because Mother-In-Law2B is so insistent – and my gran thinks we should have had a venue with rooms (despite the fact that we are havign it in a city centre with lots of places to get to) I just feel like I am being mean and selfish by having a button bouquet, and no nail varnish and wearing corrective lenses and not having chatty-looking outdated-the-same-as-every-one table flowers and by making people wear ikky handmade buttonholes… arhh!! What should I do?

 

Has anyone else had this problem because I can feel myself bowing to pressure already flower-pressure, theme-pressure, elegance-pressure…it is endless! What hsould I do?  Should I just ‘man up’ or should I tell people it is tearing me apart? Coz at the moment all these different people want different weddings for us and theyre allat odds with eachother and if I make one person happy it will make others screw their noses up and really all I am interested in making it mine and his special day (is this mean and cruel?). Our special day will probably make several people unhappy and it is pretty vanilla! God knows what they’d have done if I’d gone with my orig idea of a bright blue wedding dress!! AAAaaaaa seriusly feeling the peer-pressure!

 

Any advice would be greatly apreciated even if it is ‘shut up man!!!’ 😛

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Post # 3
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just don’t tell any more details to anyone.  My life got a lot easier when I learned to say “you’ll see the flowers/my hair/the dress/the cake/etc at the wedding.”  They’ll still probably offer unsolicited opinions, but they can’t criticize your decisions when they don’t know the details.

Post # 4
Member
2654 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Vent here anytime you need to! Um it is NOT mean or selfish to wear your glasses or no nail varnish or any other appearance-related details. [email protected] making you feel like it’s about these little details anyway? Sure they’re fun (for some) and will be in the pictures, but at the end of the day YOUR wedding is about celebrating the love between YOU AND YOUR FI! 

You special day can never be vanilla by the very virtue of it being your special day. Tell them the exact words you wrote in your post – you only care about making yours and his special day. Thank them kindly for their opinions and that you are (sincerely) grateful that they, too, want to celebrate your love for each other. Hopefully being reminded about what the day truly is will mitigate the pressure.

Stick to your guns! It’s your day!

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