Post # 1
Wedding is 2.5 months away, and I’m getting around to writing the programs now. I’m a little worried over the section with the “Parents,” though.
My parents and my fiance’s parents are divorced. My mother and her boyfriend are paying for the wedding. My fiance’s mother is coming to the wedding. My father is, for reasons that are best not discussed here, not invited, and my fiance’s father is unable to attend for various reasons.
My mom and her boyfriend are going to walk me down the aisle (we’re Jewish) and my fiance’s mom is going to walk him. So, in the parents section I had originally wanted to just put my mom’s name with her boyfriend’s name and my fiance’s mom’s name. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I wonder if despite my father and my fiance’s father not coming to the wedding (regardless of the reasons) they should be in that section, too? With a little note, perhaps, ‘unable to attend’? I’m not sure. I really don’t know what to do, I don’t want anyone confused (e.g. my father’s side of the family) but I also don’t want to give anyone more credit than they are due…! I want to be polite about it, whatever the case.
Anyway, sorry for the long-windedness! And thank you for any insight!
Post # 3
I suffered through this strife too. I almost wish I hadn’t of had programs. People throw them out anyway, and everyone at my wedding knew exactly who my parents are.
Post # 4
@StuporDuck: Yeah, all the pre-existing advice I could find on this topic basically said, “to hell with programs, don’t bother!” But I do love the idea, and my mom really wants programs, so programs there must be.
Post # 5
Have a program listing the time of events only, and not identifying people?
Post # 6
That would be good but I do think that her mother’s boyfriend has done far more than needed to be recognized as the father of the bride. I do believe he deserves that recognition at least, and I am not even talking about financial outlook on the wedding. He has done more for her and cares for her like she is his own. Which puts us in the snag we are in right now.
Post # 7
Yeah, I decided to forgo programs for the same reasons. My Dad is absent, FI’s Dad is deceased and his mother will not attend. It was too complicated to explain in a program and our best friends and family are already aware of the situation. Everybody else will just figure it out, or be left to wonder.
Oh, and as a result of all the family drama, I’ve decided that it’s best to walk the aisle alone 🙂
Post # 8
My dad was absent from my wedding so I didn’t list him on my program. Nobody asked about it and I think most of my family knows I have issues with him.
In your case, I’d leave your dad out of the program since it sounds like he isn’t a part of your life. I’d leave the decision on FI’s dad completely up to him, since he judge the relationship and decide whether to honor him in this way.
Post # 9
My father is also not going to be invited to my wedding. My Step father is my Dad and he will be walking me down the aisle, he will be listed as father of the bride and my bio dad will not be acknowledged at all. I guess it all depends on your relationship with your father though. Do what you feel right doing.
Post # 10
Same drama my dad won’t be attending my wedding and he will not have the honor of being recognized as “father of the bride” I feel like Rod 6114, that your mother’s boyfriend should be honored in that way. Because he’s obviously been there for you to be in the position to walk along or escort you and your mother down the aisle. So you see you don’t have to share dna for someone to love you as their own. And don’t feel bad about your decision either. And further more you need not explain your situation on a program.