Hollywood Proposals, have been around for decades (c/o the Movies)
Tv took them to another level in the 50s, 60s, & 70s.
Much Music, and Music Videos in the 80s & 90s
Internet, YouTube, Flash Mob, FaceBook etc to another level in the last 15 or so years
In reality, the portion of people who get these types of Proposals is small… they just get a lot of coverage when it comes to media… more now that we all have access, and things can happen & spread (go viral) instantly.
I am an Encore Bride (first Wedding circa 1980)
Both times my Proposals were intimate… and what I would say a lot of girls get… just two people who have honest and open talks about getting married & building a life together.
That doesn’t mean that their experience is anything less than wonderful… or right for them
And some guys ask with a flourish, and some don’t.
First time we had been dating 2+ years, graduated Uni, and shared our Life Plans (work the summer, get our careers going, and buy a ring late August, September Proposal, Wedding the following year). And so it went to plan. We went ring shopping together one lunch-hour… picked up the ring a week or so later. He slipped it on my finger (no down on knee, no BIG Question, or lovey dovey speach)… that was followed by a Celebration Dinner at a very chic restaurant. And telling the world (mind you I had worn a promise ring for months… some people kind of figured out an Engagement “was in the works”)
This time round…
Mr TTR & I had been dating 6+ years. We had a whole life together. Many people we’d met in that timeframe who didn’t know either of us before, assumed cause of our ages (over 50 & 60) that we were old marrieds anyhow.
Both of us had had long painful divorces. We were understandably gun shy. By 6 Years I was far more open to discussing marriage. So I put the idea out there via a Life Plan Talk (late 2011). We agreed it made sense for us. I said I’d like to be married by the end of 2012.
Then it was up to Mr TTR. He told me he wanted to do it in his own way (the Proposal / Engagement… even the Wedding). So I concurred (and waited patiently… ok not always so patiently… I was wondering at every turn when the Proposal would happen. We had tho talked about my wishes for a ring… that we choose it together, or I at least have major input, as I wanted to LOVE it and didn’t want anything to remind me of my first marriage / experience)
About 5 months later we were on vacation in Myrtle Beach… we left our Condo to go for a late afternoon walk on the beach, when it happened. Totally unexpectedly, totally low key, totally US.
We saw a couple who had obviously just been married (eloped) having their Wedding Photos taken on the beach, and Mr TTR said:
“That looks like fun, we should do that”
And I said “Really ??” … Surprised he thought that it looked like fun (he’s a pretty shy reserved guy with his feelings, and I never thought he’d want to marry out in the open)
And he replied “Ya, look into it for the next time we are here”
Hardly the stuff that movies are made of… but that was it… he was dead serious. And that was enough for me.
We continued on our walk, and he went on to talk about HOW it might happen, and he told me his entire vision… Wedding on Christmas Vacation (next time we’d be in the area) – Barefoot on the beach – Southern Honeymoon etc.
Not a magical Proposal by maybe someone else’s standards… but those words and that moment will FOREVER be treasured by me… as will the day we FOUND THE RING (lol, took us 6 weeks)… or after when we picked it up, how he ever so quietly / gently slipped it on my finger in the middle of the Jewellery Store and gave me a kiss (public kiss… lol)
And it was “official”… and we called up some friends “to meet us for drinks”… and sprang it all on them… we bought the bubbly. It was fantastic !!
We got married as per plan, Christmas Holidays. Mind you, we were able to alter our Vacation Plans, and get more time off, so it didn’t happen in Myrtle Beach, it actually happened in the Florida Keys (a lot warmer). And we wrapped our Christmas Vacation – and planned Southern US Trip up with our Honeymoon (a Caribbean Cruise) and were able to turn it all into a 5 Week Extravaganza… which was AMAZING !!
Fabulous, Wedding & Honeymoon, and now married life. Also all us. Our life doesn’t have to look like everyone elses and that isn’t a bad thing.
Hope this helps,